


HPFFX

by Lulu50000



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-27
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2017-12-27 18:28:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 45
Words: 58,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/982191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lulu50000/pseuds/Lulu50000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Potter raped Severus Snape when they were fifteen. He never told anyone and it still haunts him to this day. And yet every day he must see the man's son. The man who raped him had a son with the woman that he loved and the mere sight of the boy makes his blood boil. Only one problem, Harry Potter is in love with Severus Snape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling  
> Warning: This chapter contains very graphic male/male rape, if you want to skip past this part then go to the very bottom of the story and read from the "***"

_“You want this, don’t you?” the be-speckled, messy-haired boy said with a malicious grin._

_“N-no!” the pale, greasy-haired boy screamed. “No!  Please stop this!  I don’t want it!”_

_“Oh, but you do.” the boy said, his hazel eyes flashing behind his glasses. “Just look at how hard you are, you have to be enjoying it.” Then, looking down at the naked boy beneath him, he grabbed the greasy-haired boy’s erect cock.  The boy let out a yelp as the messy- haired boy above him began to rub his cock up and down the shaft slowly._

_“No!  No!  Stop it!  Please!” then, all of a sudden, the other boy stopped rubbing his cock.  He breathed a sigh of relief, believing his torture to be over.  That maybe the fully-clothed boy above him had heeded his cries and would leave so that he could put his clothes back on and pretend that this had never happened.  He began to back away from the other boy who, for some reason, seemed to be in a kind of trance.  Suddenly, the other boy’s head snapped towards him._

_“Where do you think you’re going?” the boy said as a wicked grin spread wide across his face._

_“I-I thought that you were letting me… letting me go…”_

_“Of course not.” said the other boy as he pinned him to the floor once more. “I simply agreed that we would stop doing_ that _.  I never said anything about letting you go.”_

_“What do you –” he stopped speaking and gasped as the other boy pulled down his pants.  He knew what would happen next and he had to get out of there.  This couldn’t be happening.  Why him?  Why him!?  Why must such horrible things always happen to him?  He tried to get up to run away while the boy was undressing, but the boy saw what he was trying to do and pinned him to the ground once more.  His pants around his knees, the boy said,_

_“Now that’s not very polite_ Snivellus _.  We were just getting to the good part.”  Then, the boy reached into the back pocket of his pants and pulled out his wand. “I didn’t want to have to do this, but if you won’t stay put while I take my clothes off, I’m afraid I’ll have to.” Then he pointed his wand at the struggling boy beneath him “_ Petrificus Totalus _!” as the messy-haired boy cast the spell, the greasy-haired one beneath him felt his body go rigid.  His arms snapped to his sides, his legs snapped together, his body was as stiff as a board and he couldn’t move.  He couldn’t run.  He couldn’t get away.  All he could do was lay there as he watched the other boy kick off his pants, pull off his shirt and finally, remove his boxers to reveal his fully erect cock.  The greasy-haired boy felt a rush of fear at what the other boy was planning to do to him.  He desperately tried to will his frozen limbs to move.  To run!  But his frozen body remained where it was.  Frozen, naked and at the mercy of the boy who stood before him._

_When the other boy was back on top of him, he released the spell.  The pale boy tried to force the other boy off, but it was no use.  He was too strong for the greasy-haired boy to fight off.  Even still, he flailed his limbs about violently, desperately trying to inflict some kind of damage on the other boy so that he could escape.  But the other boy had pinned him to the ground so effectively that he couldn’t land a single blow._

_The be-speckled boy forced a knee between the others legs, that he tried so desperately to keep together.  But in seconds, the other had forced his knee between his legs and spread them wide.  Holding both of the pale boy’s hands above his head with one of his own the other boy dipped his fingers into a lubricating potion that he had brought along for this very purpose.  When his fingers were well lubricated, he shoved one finger into the hole of the boy beneath him._

_The pale boy screamed in protest at the painful burning that the finger inside of him was causing._

_“Stop!” he screamed. “Take it out!  It hurts!” but at his screams, the other boy gave a dry chuckle and began moving his finger in and out of the greasy-haired boy.  Then he added a second and the boy screamed even louder._

_“No!  Take it out!  It hurts!  Take it out!” The pain of it making his eyes sting with tears as the messy-haired boy scissored his fingers inside of him._

_“Take it out!  Please!” he shouted, but the boy above him paid no heed to his screams as he slipped a third finger into his bleeding, burning hole._

_“Take it out!” he screamed as the pain increased with the entrance of a third finger.  Then, to his surprise and relief, the boy did take his fingers out.  He let out a small sigh of relief before he realized what the boy was doing.  The tip of the boy’s cock was right in front of his hole._

_“N-no…” he said in a barely audible whisper. “Not that!” he said a bit louder “Anything but that!  Please!  Please stop this!  No!  Don’t –” but his words were cut off as a blood-curdling scream ripped its way out of his throat as the boy thrust into him. While the other boy was thrusting into him, causing more and more pain with every thrust, he heard his own weak, crackly voice ask_

_“Why..?  Why are you doing this to me..?”_

_“You don’t… know?” said the boy through his continuous thrusts._

_“N-no, I-I don’t.” he couldn’t believe it.  It couldn’t be… it just couldn’t be possible that_ this _boy would like_ him _in_ that _way.  Could it?  No, it couldn’t be possible…_

_“Do you… want me… to tell you?” he said.  Did he want to know?  Did he want to hear whatever reason this boy had to explain why he was causing him such horrific pain?  Did he really want to hear his excuse?  Well, whatever his reason, it couldn’t possibly cause him more pain than he was in right now._

_“Y-yes…” he said weakly, awaiting the boy’s response.  The boy inside of him smiled a strangely vicious smile and said_

_“Because I hate you.”_

_“W-what?” he wasn’t sure he had heard right.  He had thought that he would say that he liked him, or perhaps loved him.  If not, maybe that he had wanted to have some fun.  Not that, never that…_

_“You heard me…_ Snivellus _…_ _I’m doing this to you… because I…_ hate _you…” the boy felt his mind go numb.  Despite the constant painful, burning sensation that continued to get worse with every thrust, the boy felt himself go numb.  The reason for this violation, this_ rape _was because Potter_ hated _him.  He had always known that, Potter hadn’t exactly kept it a secret that he hated him, but he had thought… for just a moment that… and now he felt somehow… betrayed.  Not that it would be okay even if that was the reason, he didn’t like guys.  He liked Lily.  Lily.  He couldn’t tell her.  He couldn’t tell her about this.  He couldn’t tell anyone…_

_Suddenly, the numb feeling had gone and instead, it was replaced by hatred.  An intense hatred such as he had never felt before.  Not even for his drunk and abusive father.  This was a painful, hateful, disgusting violation of his body that he would never, ever forgive._

_“I’ll kill you…” he said softly, through the pain._

_“What was that?” said his torturer._

_“I’ll kill you!” he screamed at the top of his lungs.  But the boy just laughed at him as he came inside of his body.  Then Potter pulled out of him, got dressed and walked away down the hall that he had cast a spell on so that nobody would see them or hear the greasy-haired boy’s screams.  Leaving the boy feeling violated, dirty, used, disgusting and above all, vengeful.  He would have his revenge.  He would kill that bastard who dared to do this to him._

_***_

Then, with a scream, Severus Snape woke up in his bed.  Even now that James Potter was dead, what he did still haunted Severus.  It had invaded his dreams every night since then, replaying different parts of the worst moment of his life in his head.  Severus put his face in his hands as he sobbed, knowing that he would never be rid of that horrible memory…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Potter raped Severus Snape when they were fifteen. He never told anyone and it still haunts him to this day. And yet every day he must see the man's son. The man who raped him had a son with the woman that he loved and the mere sight of the boy makes his blood boil. Only one problem, Harry Potter is in love with Severus Snape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling  
> Warning: This chapter contains sexual references

Harry Potter awoke from his dream with the familiar wet feeling on his crotch.  He’d dreamt about _that person_ again.  Harry sighed and vanished the wetness with his wand and then he went to go take a cold shower.  Why on earth did he, Harry Potter, have to fall in love with _that person_?  Out of all the people that he could have fallen in love with, why did it have to be _them_?  There were so many reasons why it was so wrong for him to love them and why they could never possibly love him back.  Ever.

First of all, the person that he was in love with was a man.  Harry had discovered that he was gay two years ago when he was in third year.  He’d had a bit of a crush on Remus Lupin, but that’s all it was, just a crush.  But it was enough for him to realize the truth.  He’d also had a small crush on his best friend’s oldest brother, Bill Weasley.  And Harry had realized that he just _noticed_ guys in a way how he never noticed girls.  But this was different.  This time, he was in love, and he wasn’t just some stupid fifteen year old simply assuming that he was in love because he’d had wet dreams about him, no.  He knew he was in love because no matter how much he wished for these feelings to go away, they wouldn’t.  They stayed and every time Harry saw him, it just got worse…

Second of all, the person that he was in love with was more than twenty years his senior.  Harry had quickly noticed that he liked older guys, and it was okay to just like them, but not to _love_ someone so much older.  Not to wish for them to wrap you in their arms and never let you go.  Not to wish that they would make beautiful, sweet love to you and only you for the rest of your  lives.  Not to wish for a relationship.  Harry had never known anyone to be in a relationship with such an age difference, and he assumed that it would be frowned upon in the wizarding world just as much as it was in the Muggle world.

Thirdly, the person he was in love with was one of Harry’s Professors.  There were rules about relationships with Professors and if they ever did go out and someone found out about it, that would cause Harry to be expelled and his lover to be sacked.  He couldn’t just date one of his Professors; it would put their job and Harry’s education at risk.  Not to mention that Hogwarts was the only place that Harry had ever called home and the place where Harry made his first friends and truly felt that it was somewhere he belonged.  And Harry assumed that his Professor was rather fond of his job and didn’t much feel like losing it.

Fourthly, the person that he was in love with hated him.  It made his heart clench painfully to even think about, but it was true.  By no fault of Harry’s either.  He had never done anything to merit being hated by that person, he just hated him.  Harry knew why though.  That person hated him because Harry looked like his Father, and that person had hated his Father.  It wasn’t until earlier that year that Harry fully understood why.  Back in Harry’s third year, Lupin had told Harry that, that person hated his father because he was jealous of his Quidditch skills, but Harry had discovered just earlier that year by looking at their memories, that what Lupin had told him wasn’t the reason at all.  In fact, it had been a downright lie, either that or the understatement of the century.  That person hated Harry’s father because James Potter was an arrogant bully who had terrorized him throughout his years at Hogwarts.  The memory that Harry had witnessed had been of his father going up to that person (who was doing nothing but reading peacefully) and had hung him upside-down in the air by his ankle and tried to remove his trousers in front of a large crowd who were all cheering James on.  Harry knew that his Father had smartened up over the years and had eventually become someone that Harry’s mother, Lily, could love.  He had become someone who would die to protect the lives of his wife and child.  But Harry still couldn’t forgive his Father for how he had acted when he was the same age as Harry was right now.  It was almost as though James Potter; the man who had sacrificed himself for his wife and son and James Potter; the arrogant bully who had terrorized the man Harry loved while they were in school, were two different people entirely. 

Lastly, the person Harry Potter was in love with was Severus Snape.  They could never ever be together for all of the reasons above.  He was a man and Harry was pretty sure that Snape was straight, or at least he’d never done anything to make Harry assume otherwise.  Snape was too old for him, what could he possibly ever want with a short, scrawny fifteen-year-old like him?  Harry was a student and Snape was a Professor, if they ever went out, it could result in Harry’s expulsion and Snape getting sacked.  And Snape hated him because he looked like his Father.  Harry reasoned that it would be as if years later Malfoy had a son that looked just like him but with different eyes and that boy told Harry that he was in love with him.  Imagining that scenario, made Harry feel even worse because it made him feel like there was no chance at all, because there would be no chance at all that Harry would ever date Draco Malfoy’s son.  So why would Snape ever want to date him? 

Harry’s tears then began to mix with the water in the shower.  There was as much chance of him getting together with Snape as there was for Voldemort to suddenly turn into a giant, two-headed butterfly and want peace on earth.  No, even less than that.  Snape would never love him.  In fact, Snape would never even _like_ him.  Harry would have to just learn to get over him.  But how do you get over your first love if you think about them constantly, even when you’re sleeping?  Harry didn’t see himself getting over Snape any time soon.  And Harry couldn’t think of anyone else he could have fallen in love with that would have been any more problematic than falling in love with Severus Snape.  In fact, it would have been easier if he’d fallen in love with Lord Voldemort himself…

Why did everything in his life always have to be so damn _complicated_!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment :) I'd love to hear what you think about my story :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Potter raped Severus Snape when they were fifteen. He never told anyone and it still haunts him to this day. And yet every day he must see the man's son. The man who raped him had a son with the woman that he loved and the mere sight of the boy makes his blood boil. Only one problem, Harry Potter is in love with Severus Snape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling  
> Warning: Not much bad stuff happens in this chapter, just a bit of adult language

Hermione was in the common room studying when she saw Harry come in.  His eyes were slightly red, he’d just been crying.  And she knew why.  As soon as he came in, she ran forward and wrapped her arms around him saying

“You dreamt about him again, didn’t you?” he just nodded into her shoulder.  Hermione had suspected that Harry was gay long before he even realized it himself.  She had even helped him come to terms with it.  And when he had fallen in love with Snape, she could tell right away, he didn’t have to tell her anything, she just always knew.  But Ron didn’t.  Ron didn’t know and neither did anyone else.  And it wasn’t as though Harry trusted her more than Ron, he hadn’t even meant for _her_ to find out, but she did.  Harry had never told _anybody_ about it.  In fact, Hermione thought that Ron was quite clueless when it came to this sort of thing.  It’s like he has the emotional capacity of a teaspoon!  He couldn’t even see how much she liked him.  How much she _had_ liked him ever since third year.  She had realized how she felt about him during their fight.  She realized that being away from him was painful and she never wanted it to happen again.  But never mind that, she was comforting Harry right now.  It was so like her mind to just go of track and think about something completely different than she had started out thinking about…

“You could always try telling him.” She said, knowing exactly how he would react. 

“No, I can’t Hermione!” he said frustrated, “I can’t tell him!  I never can!  Even if I thought that there was even the slightest chance that he could like me back, or even understand!  There’s no way that I’d ever be able to tell him!  Hell, I can’t even tell Ron that I’m gay, so how am I supposed to tell _him_!?”

“But, if you told him…” she said slowly, “Then at least he’d know, right?  At least he’d know your feelings and maybe he could subconsciously start to like you too.  But he can’t even begin if he doesn’t even know.”

“You say it like it’s so easy to just go up to someone who hates you and just – just tell them that you’re in love with them!  You have no right to talk, you can’t even tell Ron and he clearly likes you too, if how he reacted last year to you and Krum is anything to go by!”

“I-I know…” she said “I know that I have no right to tell you to do that if I can’t even do it myself, but you can’t just keep pining over him, not knowing, forever!  At least if he rejected you and you knew that there was no chance, then you could at least start to get over him.”

“Don’t you think I already _know_ that there’s no chance!?” he shouted.

“No!” Hermione said “I think that you think there’s no chance but there’s a part of you that believes that maybe it would be possible for him to like you too!  That’s why you can’t get over him!  You don’t have closure!  It’s just a question of ‘what if’ hanging in the air and if you don’t act on that then nothing will ever happen!  He won’t love you back and you’ll never get over him!  You just have to tell him!  It’s not like he could treat you any worse than he already does!”

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me.” Harry said.

“Oh Harry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that, really, I–”

“You’re right though.  I’ve got to tell him if I ever want any kind of closure, and he can’t hate me any more than he already does anyway.  So…”

“So you’re going to tell him?”

“Y-yeah, I-I guess so…  If I get the chance, then I might…” he looked down at his feet.

“Harry James Potter!” she said harshly, making his head snap up to look at her, a bit startled. “Are you going to tell him or not?  It’s simply yes or no!”

“Y-yes.  I-I will.  I’ll tell him.” Hermione sighed in relief. 

“Good.  And when you do, then it’ll be my turn to tell Ron, but you have to do it first.”

“W-what?  B-but that’s not –”

“It’s the only way you’ll tell him and you know it.  Remember, my love life can’t go anywhere until you take the first step for your own.  I’m waiting for you.” Then she went back to her studying to let him think about it.  She mentally chuckled to herself.  Now that Harry would be telling Snape his feelings, not only for himself, but for her he was sure to do it soon.  It was just the selfless person he was.  Then, Hermione swore to herself that if Snape hurt Harry, she was going to use all of her power; physically, mentally and magically, to make his life a living Hell that he will never escape. 

Harry couldn’t help who he loved, and if that love hurt him, there would be Hell to pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment :) and give some feed back on what you liked and didn't like :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Potter raped Severus Snape when they were fifteen. He never told anyone and it still haunts him to this day. And yet every day he must see the man's son. The man who raped him had a son with the woman that he loved and the mere sight of the boy makes his blood boil. Only one problem, Harry Potter is in love with Severus Snape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling  
> Warning: Talk of sex and murder

Harry sat in Potions class next to Ron and Hermione.  He watched Snape out of the corner of his eye as he walked around, inspecting the class’s potions.  But Harry knew that when Snape got to their group, he wouldn’t be very impressed with Harry’s.  He had been so distracted by thinking of what he should do to somehow get Snape alone to tell him he was in love with him, that he had mixed up a few of the ingredients and now, instead of being a bright, tangerine orange colour like Hermione’s, his potion was a dull, murky brown, was bubbling and smelled something foul. 

How had he gotten himself into this?  He wasn’t ready to tell Snape!  He wasn’t even ready to tell Ron he was gay!  But he had to tell Snape, or Hermione wouldn’t tell Ron, and she’d loved him for a lot longer than he’d loved Snape.  And it was clear that Ron loved her too and that their relationship would work out.  Not like him.  It wouldn’t work out and he just knew it.  But Hermione was right; he needed closure, because if he didn’t get it, then there would always be a part of him that would cling to the chance that it might be possible.  He needed to be rejected.

Harry hadn’t even really realized that he had been staring at Snape and not doing anything with his potion until Snape’s black eyes turned to him.  He was so startled that he hit his cauldron and, to his horror, it went toppling down to the floor, soaking the ground with his disgusting brown potion.  The class gagged as the smell hit them and Snape strode toward Harry angrily.

“What is the meaning of this Potter?” Snape snarled at him.  He couldn’t meet Snape’s eyes as he said.

“S-sorry Professor, I didn’t mean to!  It just-”

“Ten points from Gryffindor for you carelessness Mr Potter!” Then, he eyed Harry’s toxic concoction once again and said “And another ten for not following instructions!  What is this?  The potion is supposed to be orange, Potter.” then he vanished the potion with his wand and said, “You have detention tonight, at six o’clock.” Suddenly, a thought struck Harry, but he had to be sure.  So he said,

“With you, Sir?”

“Yes, _Potter_.  With me.  Do you have a problem with that?” Harry shook his head frantically.

“N-no, Sir.”

“Good.” Then Snape turned around and began walking back to his desk, his black robes trailing majestically behind him. 

_This is it!_ Harry thought excitedly. _Detention with Snape!  I don’t even have to try and get him alone, because he’s already gone and done that for me!_ But Harry had to remind himself that he was only going to tell him so that he could be rejected properly and try to get on with his life.  Find a nice, _gay_ guy who was _his own age_ who didn’t _hate him_ and have a healthy relationship with him.  Harry frowned.  At that moment he didn’t feel like he could ever like anyone else besides Snape.  He was in _love_ with the man for Merlin’s sake!  But now, he had to tell him, and get rejected like a man.  Like a Gryffindor.

Harry’s stomach was in knots all through dinner that night.  He couldn’t eat anything.  The impending confrontation between him and Snape just kept popping into the front of his mind.  This waiting was horrible!  He’d rather just get the blasted thing done already! 

Hermione gave him a knowing look and sighed.  It had to be really hard on Harry.  She knew that he was planning to tell Snape during his detention, and to be honest, she hadn’t expected him to make that decision so quickly.  But now that he had, it would definitely happen.  Harry was a Gryffindor through and through…  Hermione made an oath to herself that if Snape hurt Harry – like he was most likely going to – she would take it upon herself to make the rest of his life a miserable hell-hole as best as she could without getting caught or expelled.  If he hurt Harry, there would be hell to pay…

Ron stared at his two best friends, dumbfounded.  He was sure that they had just had a silent exchange of some kind.  He had suspected that they had been hiding something from him for a while now.  He just had no idea what it could possibly be.  What were they hiding from him?  What was so horrible that they couldn’t even let him know about it?  Suddenly, a horrible thought came to Ron – like horrible thoughts often do – _What if they’re shagging each other?_ Ron mentally shook his head.  No, that couldn’t be it.  Could it?

When it was quarter to six, Harry stood up and said goodbye to Ron and Hermione, then he began walking away.  Before he could leave the Great Hall though, Hermione dashed towards him and wrapped her arms around him in a tight, comforting hug.  Before she pulled away, she whispered in his ear “ _Good luck._ ” Then she went back over to the table to sit with Ron, who had a look of pure shock on his face.  Harry sincerely hoped that Ron wasn’t thinking anything stupid about that hug… But he didn’t have time to dwell on Ron now, there was a certain devilishly-handsome potions Professor waiting for him down in the dungeons. 

As Harry walked down to the dungeons, he nearly lost his nerve many times.  Missing detention and getting into even more trouble was worth not having to go through the heart-wrenching pain that he knew awaited him down in those dungeons.  But he picked his nerve back up again.  He had to do it.  He had made a decision and he had to go through with it.  Not just for his own closure, but so that Hermione would finally tell Ron her feelings for him.  He knew that she would wait until he had come back and told her that he had told Snape his own feelings.  So, it wasn’t just for himself that he was having his heart broken, it was for Hermione and Ron and whatever future that they undoubtedly would have together once they told each other their feelings.  Ron was too stubborn to even admit to _him_ that he liked Hermione, so it was up to Hermione to confess.  But she was waiting for him.  So he had to do it.  He absolutely had to.

_Potter is late._ Severus thought bitterly to himself.  Just like his Father; arrogant, thinks he can just show up whenever he wants.  No, he wasn’t going to think about _him_.  Not now, not ever.  But whenever he looked at that boy, all he saw was James.  James, who had bullied him all through school.  James, who had stolen the girl he loved from him, had stolen Lily…  James, who had… who had _raped_ him!  Severus wished now that he had told someone about what had happened all those years ago.  He wished that someone would have punished him for what he had done.  He wished that he could have told Lily the kind of man that she had married…  But it was too late for all of that now.  All evidence of the attack was gone, all that remained were his memories and he would be _damned_ if he showed them to _anyone_!  James was long dead, oh it was partially his fault of course, but he wished he could have been there to see him crumple to the ground at _his_ feet.  In fact, death wasn’t all that man deserved.  He deserved torture and pain and things far, far worse than simply being killed by _Avada Kadavra._

Lily was dead as well.  She was dead, and her death was as much his fault as James’s was.  But she didn’t deserve that.  She was a wonderful person and didn’t deserve to be taken from this world.  He had loved her so much and she had married the man who had ruined his life.  If only he had told her…  If only she knew what he had done…  She never would have married him.  She would never have died…

Severus was pulled out of his mournful and murderous thoughts by a soft knock at the door.  His head snapped up.  It was Potter.  The mere sight of him filled his mind with rage and his heart with sadness.  It was uncanny how alike they were; him and his Father.  James wasn’t alive to be punished, but his son was.  Snape hoped that James had a front row seat in hell, so that he could see exactly what he would do to his son…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and give me your feedback :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Potter raped Severus Snape when they were fifteen. He never told anyone and it still haunts him to this day. And yet every day he must see the man's son. The man who raped him had a son with the woman that he loved and the mere sight of the boy makes his blood boil. Only one problem, Harry Potter is in love with Severus Snape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling  
> Warning: I don't want to give it away, but there are some pretty sexual things in this chapter, no sex, but some very sexual things. So if you couldn't read the first chapter then you should just skip the next few.

Harry knocked nervously on the door.  Snape’s head snapped up and his dark, onyx coloured eyes bore into his own.  He felt a chill run up his spine at that piecing gaze.  _No!_ He told himself sternly. _You are here to get rejected by this man, fantasising about his eyes will only make it worse!_  

“Come in, Potter.” Snape said to him.  His voice was quiet, but it shocked Harry as much as if he had shouted at him. “Close the door.” Snape said.  Harry did as he was told, stepping in and shutting the door.  He was alone in a room with _Severus Snape!_   It was like a dream come true!

Then, Harry suddenly realized something.  He didn’t know what he was going to say!  He had no clue how he was supposed to tell Snape that he was in love with him!  His already fast-paced heart started beating faster with nerves.  How could he possibly tell him?  Could he just come right out and say it?  He was a Gryffindor after all; it was only his nature to rash and impulsive.  So, before he lost his nerve, he said,

“Professor, I –”

“Silence, Potter.” Snape interrupted him with a growl.  Then, Harry noticed that there was something different about Snape’s voice.  He didn’t know how he hadn’t realized it before.  There was something very _off_ about it.  Something very _unnerving_.  There was something different about his eyes as well.  The deep black tunnels that his eyes were now had something inside of them, very, very deep inside of them.  It was a fire, a fire that Harry had never seen there before.  His eyes were normally cold, detached, but now there was a fire inside of them and Harry couldn’t quite tell what it was.  He only knew that whatever it was, it was making him hard.  _Thank Merlin for wizard’s robes._ Harry thought to himself.

Harry continued staring at that beautiful fire until Snape spoke again.

“Now Potter,” he said in that voice that was Snape’s, but at the same time wasn’t.  It was strange and not what Harry was used to hearing.  But Harry couldn’t help but notice that this voice that Snape was speaking with was _extremely_ sexy.  Snape’s regular voice was sexy enough, but this voice… it sent a shiver up Harry’s spine just thinking about it. 

“Tonight, I have a special punishment in mind for you.”

“W-what would that be, Sir?” Harry asked, trying to make it seem like his stammering and heavy breathing was from fear, not arousal at the man’s voice. 

“We’re going to play a little game, Potter.  You are going to do everything I say without argument.”

“Yes, Sir.” Harry said breathlessly.  Harry was sure that his cheeks were flushed bright red now.  The way that Snape had said that, made it sound like they were going to – but, no.  It couldn’t be.  It was just his stupid, adolescent brain working overtime.  Harry was sure that right now, he would hear _anything_ Snape said as a sexual innuendo. 

“Good.” said Snape.  “Strip.” Harry was sure that he had heard Snape wrong.  There was no way that _Snape_ just told him to _strip_.  It was just his brain playing tricks on him again.

“E-excuse me?” Harry asked timidly. 

“I told you to _strip_ , Potter.” Snape said impatiently. “Take off your clothes.” Harry was sure that he had heard Snape right this time.  But, he couldn’t believe it.  Why would Snape want to see Harry naked?  Even still, he proceeded to quickly take his clothes off.  He couldn’t argue with that incredibly sexy voice…

Snape was a bit shocked when the boy actually started taking his clothes off.  He had expected an argument, righteous indignation, maybe even crying.  Definitely not _this_.  Snape shook his head; he was here to punish James Potter, not to stand there shocked when his son actually complied with the punishment.

Soon, the fifteen year old boy was in nothing but his boxers, which had moving broomsticks on them.  However, what shocked Snape was the large bulge that he could see between Potter’s legs.  _Boy must’ve seen a girl on his way down here._ Severus thought.

Harry stared at the floor; he was in nothing but his boxers in front of the man he loved and Harry was quite sure that he could see the bulge between his legs…            

“Those too, Mr. Potter,” Snape said in his sexy voice.  Harry looked up at Snape, was he serious?

“W-what?” Harry asked.

“I told you to take your underwear off as well, Mr. Potter.  Don’t make me say it again.” Harry didn’t.  He immediately pulled down his boxers to reveal his full erection.  Harry couldn’t meet Snape’s eyes or even look at him at all.  He was so embarrassed.  He had come down there meaning to confess his love for the man and he was now completely naked in front of him, _with an erection_! 

Severus stared at Potter, shocked again by Potter’s willingness to just take his clothes off in front of him.  When Severus had been in the boy’s position, James had to all but rip his clothes off to get him naked, but Potter was just _listening_.  Doing exactly what he said…  Severus frowned.  The sight of the naked boy in front of him had made him hard.  But that just made it easier, didn’t it.  Considering what he was about to do…

Harry heard Snape give a dark chuckle; for the third time that night, a chill ran up his spine.  Harry waited to hear Snape’s voice again, that incredibly sexy voice.  He would do anything it told him to do.  _Anything_.  Even though Harry was quite sure that Snape had no actual interest in him.  He was probably doing this as a way to embarrass and punish him, unaware of how much he was enjoying it…   

“Turn around.  Face the desk.” The sexy voice said, and Harry complied immediately.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment :) and give me your feed back :) I'd love to hear it :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Potter raped Severus Snape when they were fifteen. He never told anyone and it still haunts him to this day. And yet every day he must see the man's son. The man who raped him had a son with the woman that he loved and the mere sight of the boy makes his blood boil. Only one problem, Harry Potter is in love with Severus Snape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling  
> Warning: Same as the last chapter, I don't want to give anything away, but again, if you couldn't read the first chapter or the one previous to this then skip this one and the next few.

As Severus walked over to the boy, he was once again shocked at how willingly he had done that, without pause or argument.  Surely the boy knew where this was going. He couldn’t be that much of an idiot.  Why didn’t he try to run or scream?  It just didn’t make sense…

Severus pushed those thoughts aside.  This was his _revenge_.  He should enjoy it, not question it.  Severus pulled out a bottle from the inside of his robes.  He pulled out the stopper and dipped three of his fingers in it.

Harry could feel Snape standing right behind him.  Harry wondered if Snape really _would_ have sex with him.  But, why?  Wasn’t he straight?  No, he probably wouldn’t.  Maybe he meant to smack Harry, like Uncle Vernon used to.  He would make Harry strip down too.  It had hurt a lot when Vernon spanked him, but Harry couldn’t help but think that he wouldn’t mind it if Snape hit him.  That he might even _enjoy_ it…

Suddenly, Harry let out a cry as he felt something penetrate his entrance.  He realized with a start that it was Snape’s finger and that it was covered in lubricant. 

“W-what are you –?”                          

“Silence, Potter!” Snape said.  Harry gave a silent moan at the sound of his voice.  Snape’s finger then began to move around inside of him.  Harry moaned a bit louder, yet still not loud enough for Snape to hear.  Harry had done this to himself many times, imagining that it was Snape, but having Snape’s finger inside of him felt _so_ much better.  Suddenly, Snape penetrated a second finger inside of Harry, this time Harry’s moan was load enough for Snape to hear.

Severus gave the moan no mind, assuming that it was one of pain.  He then began to twist his fingers around inside of the boy, just as James had done to him.  He scissored his fingers and started stretching the boy, which he assumed was painful as the boy moaned again.  Severus remembered how painful this had been for him and smiled as he was finally releasing his pent up anger.  He then forced in a third finger.

Harry cried out as a third finger joined the other two.  Harry was too lost in the pleasure to notice the slight burning sensation caused by his hole stretching bigger than it was used to.  Snape’s fingers moved quickly inside of him, forcing more and more moans out of his throat.  Harry wanted Snape to be inside of him, he wanted Snape to fill him up with his cock.  He wanted him.  He had wanted him for so many months and he didn’t care if Snape was only doing this to ridicule him.  He didn’t care if this technically counted as rape.  He didn’t care about anything except for the fingers inside of him and the man that he had loved for so long…

“Please…” Severus heard the boy say softly, pleading with him.  Severus smiled a dark smile.  That was more like it.  The continuous moans that the boy made had begun to confuse him.  There was no way that the boy could be _enjoying_ being raped by someone who was more than twice his age!  But now the boy was pleading with him, just as he had done with James.  Pleading for him to stop… for the pain to end…

Snape then pulled his fingers out of Harry, he whimpered at the loss of contact.  He wanted those fingers back inside of him.

When the boy whimpered, Severus assumed that it was because he knew what to expect next.  He knew that the pain was about to get worse.  He knew that he was about to be violated in the worst way that someone could be violated…  Severus then pulled his fully erect cock out of his pants and covered it with the lubricant and position himself at the boy’s entrance…

Harry then felt the slight nudging of something much larger than fingers at his entrance.  Harry smiled wildly, anticipation bubbling over him.  This is what he wanted!  To be taken by the man he loved!  Even though this was not the ideal way he wanted to lose his virginity – what with it being on a desk and the man he loved was essentially raping him – but he would take what he could get.  Despite the circumstances not being the way he had imagined, this was the happiest he had ever felt.  He was about to have sex with the man he loved.  With Snape.

Harry felt strong hands grip his slim waist as Snape pulled back and then thrust harshly inside of him.  Harry screamed.  Even with the lubricant that was undoubtedly covering Snape’s cock, it still hurt.  It burned his insides and felt like he was being split in two.  Snape did not slow or wait for him to adjust before pulling back and slamming into him once more.  As Snape painfully thrust into him a few more times, Harry had to remind himself that this was what he wanted.  Severus Snape, the man he loved, was inside of him.  Actually inside of him, taking him as his own.  Despite his continued screams of pain, Harry soon found pleasure in what Snape was doing to his body.  The intense pain was mixed with intense pleasure and Harry wasn’t sure which one was stronger.  He had stopped screaming and he turned his head a bit to look at Snape and said softly,

“Please… Slower…”

Severus nearly stopped his pace altogether.  He had expected the boy to yell and scream at him to stop.  He seemed to be in a great amount of pain, judging from his screams, so why?  Why instead of begging him to stop hurting him, was he asking for Severus to go slower?  Breaking from his momentary shocked stillness, he returned to thrusting into the boy.  But he did go a bit slower, just to see how the boy would react…

Harry had almost cried when Snape momentarily stopped moving.  He had just wanted the man to go a bit slower, not stop altogether!  However, Severus soon began moving again, and he had even done what Harry had asked and started going a bit slower.  Despite the intense burning sensation that remained, the pleasure that Harry felt was much stronger that the pain.  He moaned loudly in pleasure, and then he said in a breathless voice,

“T-thank… you…”

Despite his continued slow thrusts, Severus was shocked.  He was raping the boy!  And… and he said thank you when he slowed down?  The boy wasn’t reacting at all like Severus had.  In fact, the boy had never even once asked him why he was doing this.  Why he had chosen to torture him over anyone else.  Severus listened closely to the boy’s moans.  They didn’t sound anything like the pain filled screams that he was making earlier.  They even sounded… sounded as though he was moaning out of… out of _pleasure_!  But surely that was impossible!  He, Severus Snape was _raping_ him!  He shouldn’t find _pleasure_ in it!  When Severus was in Harry’s position underneath James, the experience had been the worst of his life!  It had been painful, torturous to have something so large inside of him.  And Severus was not a teenage boy, but a grown man!  He was even larger than James was back then, so it should be even _more_ painful for the boy!

As Severus thrust, he reached around the boy to feel his cock.  When he found it, he was surprised to feel that it was hard and even had pre-cum leaking from the slit.  As soon as James had begun raping him, the pain had been so overwhelming that there was no pleasure in it.  He had gone limp after only a few seconds of it.  But the boy… he was hard as a rock and when Severus touched him, the boy’s erection twitched in his hand.

Severus then stopped his thrusting for a moment and a whimper came from the boy.  Severus then – without removing his cock from the boy’s ass – picked the boy up, put him on the desk in front of them and flipped him over so that he could see him properly.  Despite the fact that his hole was red, raw and bloody, his cock was hard and fully-erect, leaking pre-cum all down it.  The boy’s breathing came in sharp, quick gasps.  Then Severus looked at his face.  It was the boy’s face that shocked him the most.  Though his mouth was open and gasping, the corners of his mouth were turned up in what almost looked like a smile.  And his eyes, the boy’s eyes were wide and full of lust, staring at him in confusion.

“W-why?” the boy asked breathlessly.  Severus had expected him to ask ‘Why are you doing this to me?’ because the gravity of what he had just done had hit him.  He had just raped a fifteen year old boy.  Yes, he may be the son of the man who had raped him, but he was not his father.  He had never even known his Father!  And yet… Snape had just done exactly what James had done to him, to a young student.  He was just as bad as him.  No, he was even worse.  He was a grown man who had lived through the same pain and had forced it on another.  He was a grown man and he had raped a young child!  He was worse than James!  And he could never take this back!  All Harry would have to do would be to go to Albus, tell him what had happened and he would be sacked by tomorrow. 

Severus’ thoughts however were interrupted by the boy finishing his sentence at last, once he had caught his breath back a bit.

“Why did you stop?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment :) what did you like, what didn't you like?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Potter raped Severus Snape when they were fifteen. He never told anyone and it still haunts him to this day. And yet every day he must see the man's son. The man who raped him had a son with the woman that he loved and the mere sight of the boy makes his blood boil. Only one problem, Harry Potter is in love with Severus Snape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling  
> Warning: In this chapter there is adult language and sexual language and descriptions, male/male rape and underage anal sex. If you've been skipping the last couple chapters then skip this one too.

“Why did you stop?” the boy asked.  Severus could do nothing but stare at the boy he was still inside of.  He was shocked beyond words.  Beyond _anything_ , really.  The boy had just asked him why he had _stopped_.  Why he had _stopped_!  Not why he was doing this, not why was he torturing him, nothing like that!  The boy had asked ‘Why did you stop?’

Harry couldn’t really understand what had happened.  One second Snape was thrusting into him slowly and making him feel like he was close to cuming, then he had reached his hand around and grabbed his cock.  He felt his cock twitch in the man’s hand as he felt like he might cum right then and there all over the man’s had.  Next thing he knew, Snape had him flipped onto his back on the desk and he had stopped moving.  When Harry had asked him why he stopped, it seemed as though Snape had frozen.  He looked like he was petrified!

Harry then slowly sat up – ignoring the stabbing pain that he felt all along his back and the burning in his ass – and he wrapped his legs around Snape’s waist and his arms around his neck and kissed him.  A deep, chaste kiss that Harry tried to put all of his feelings of love and longing into, hoping desperately that it would snap Snape back to reality.

Then Snape gripped Harry’s shoulders tightly and pulled him back.

“What are you doing?” Snape asked, sounding more than just a little shocked.  Harry smiled and said simply,

“Kissing you.” Then he leant forward to give the man a peck on the lips before his strong hands pulled him back once more.

“Why?” Snape asked in a croaky voice. “I just… I just _raped you on a desk_!”

“Yeah.” said Harry. “Not exactly how I wanted my first time to be, but –”

“Your _first time_!?” Severus yelled, he wasn’t sure why this surprised him so much or why it made him even more repulsed with himself than he already was. “Merlin, Potter… I… I’m so –”

Harry took the opportunity to place another chaste kiss on Snape’s lips.  Then Snape pulled him back again and Harry let out an involuntary whine. 

“Why are you…?” Snape said, “Why are you kissing me?  I… I just _raped_ you!  You should hate me!” Harry thought about how to answer.  How could he make Snape understand?  Then a voice in the back of Harry’s mind said _‘He just raped you, he doesn’t deserve to understand.  Just tell him right out.  You have the right to do and say anything you want to him now.’_ Harry decided to listen to the little voice and said,

“Snape, I’m in love with you.” Severus gaped at the boy.  He must be deluding himself!  He must have gone into shock because of… because of what he had done to him.  Severus looked away from the confused boy in shame.

Harry stared at his Professor and was angry to see that he didn’t get it.  So he continued ,

“I have been for months.” This made Severus’ head snap back up. “I was actually planning on telling you today during detention, but you cut me off before I could.  I love you, Snape.” Then Harry leant forward to kiss Snape again, but the hands on his shoulders restrained him.

“No, Potter.  Don’t kiss me again.” Harry’s temper flared at this and he yelled,

“You have no right to tell me what I can and can’t do!  Considering the fact that your cock is still inside of me!” Severus’ eyes widened with horror as he realized that he was still inside of the boy.  He moved to put Potter down on the desk and pull out of him, but the boy wrapped around him tighter and said a firm,

“No.” Severus stared at the boy with wide eyes.  Then the boy said with a soft voice, “I want you to stay inside of me.  I’ve dreamt about having sex with you almost every night.  This was never the way that I imagined it, but I don’t want to regret my first time.  Especially if it’s with you.”

“W-what do you want me to do?” Severus asked and the boy smiled a brilliantly wide smile that made Severus’ breath hitch.

“I want you to do what you were doing before.” Harry said.  I want you to thrust into me slowly, but this time I want to face you, and I want you to kiss me.” There was a long silence for a moment.  Severus couldn’t believe what was happening…  He had just raped this boy… and now he wanted to continue having sex, but make it slower and make it more intimate and kiss during it…  He didn’t know if he was capable of doing that…  He felt such a heavy burden of shame throughout his whole body, like it was weighing him down.  He felt as though he was going to fall over, yet he had no problems staying upright what-so-ever.  He had just raped a fifteen year old boy…  The same thing that had been done to him and scarred him throughout his whole life, even to this day, and yet he had done it to another…  He felt sick to his stomach…

But then I little voice in his head said ‘ _That’s why you should do it.  You should do what he wants now because you did something so horrible to him.  Attempt to make it up to him by giving him what he wants._ ’

Harry felt like it was taking ages for Snape to finally make up his mind.  He wanted this.  So very badly…  And Snape’s cock was just sitting there idly inside of him…  He was so tempted to just start riding Snape’s cock.  But he would much prefer Snape to thrust into him…  So he waited…  But _bloody hell_ it was taking a long time!  Then, finally, Snape spoke.

“A-are you sure, that this is what you want..?” Severus asked hesitantly.

“Yes.” said Harry, his eyes full of lust and determination.  Severus swallowed dryly and then said

“Okay.  And I am truly so sorry…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment, I would really like to hear your feedback on my story :) and thanks for reading :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Potter raped Severus Snape when they were fifteen. He never told anyone and it still haunts him to this day. And yet every day he must see the man's son. The man who raped him had a son with the woman that he loved and the mere sight of the boy makes his blood boil. Only one problem, Harry Potter is in love with Severus Snape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling  
> Warning: This chapter contains underage male/male sex. If you don't like it, I don't really know why you're reading this story. But if you've skipped the last couple chapters then scroll down until you see ***, after that, the sex is over.

“Yes.” said Harry, his eyes full of lust and determination.  Severus swallowed dryly and then said

“Okay.  And I am truly so sorry…” Then Harry let go of Snape and lay back on the desk, and then Snape started moving slowly.  Very slowly.  It was far too slow for Harry’s liking…

“…could you go a bit faster..?” Harry asked

“Okay.” said Snape in a monotone as he sped up his pace a bit. 

“A bit faster…” said Harry.  And then Snape began thrusting even faster and now it was at a pace that Harry found _amazing._  It was so intense… it wasn’t as fast as before, but it wasn’t slow either and it was so intense and _bloody merlin!!!_   It was so much better than all of his dreams where he had woken up covered in his own cum.  It was amazing; it didn’t even hurt at all anymore it just felt so _good!!!_  

Harry opened his eyes, which he hadn’t realized that he had closed so that he could look at Snape.  But, when he saw his face… he didn’t seem to be enjoying himself at all…  Harry felt quite hurt and upset… 

“…Look at… me…” said Harry, it was difficult to speak through such ragged breath, but he needed Snape to enjoy this too.  Snape’s eyes looked into Harry’s, and Harry saw that the fire was no longer there, his eyes were cold tunnels once more… and they appeared to be even colder than usual… 

“…Does this… feel good at all… to you..?” Harry asked.

Severus thought about it for a moment.  He had not done this to feel good; he had done this for revenge.  And now he was doing it as an apology, but now that he thought about it, he supposed that it did feel good…  Quite good actually…  The tightness around his cock…  The way that Harry’s ass seemed to both squeeze tightly at every direction all around his cock and at the same time have some sort of suction power… it was really quite amazing… and now that Severus was thinking about it, he couldn’t help but enjoy it…

“…Yes…” said Severus “It feels… very good…” Harry smiled.

“…Good… Now I want you to look at me… and only think about how good… the walls of my ass feel around… your hard cock… And I want you to go at whatever speed… makes you feel the best… And then… I want you to cum… inside of me…”

Severus gaped a bit.  But he was starting to be too overcome with how good it felt to really care about much else…  The shame of what he had done before went away.  The horrible feeling that he always had, that James raping him had left him with, for the first time since he was fifteen years old, went away as well.  The only thing that mattered was how good this feeling was… And the fact that he was staring into Harry’s eyes…  Which were so much like his mother’s…  The woman that Severus loved…  Severus felt all of the negativity just ebb away from him.  He had never felt this good in his life…

Harry watched Severus’s eyes as they changed from being an extra dark, cold tunnel, to normal, to something that Harry had never seen before… it was similar to the fire from before, but not quite.  It wasn’t so aggressive, but it made his eyes look almost… warm.  As though all the coldness in them had gone.  And Harry felt so happy inside knowing that he had done this for his Professor…  And that moment was truly the happiest of his entire life.  And he knew that if he ever used it for a Patronus, it would be the biggest, most powerful Patronus that he had ever summoned.  The man that he loved was making love to him.  And it felt _amazing_.  And though he may not love Harry, Harry had managed to make the coldness in his eyes, turn to warmth.  Which Harry figured, was as happy as Snape could get. 

Harry felt so amazing and good at that moment that when Snape began to thrust faster and faster, it almost seemed unreal how such a perfect moment could suddenly be so much better and feel so much more amazing, Harry’s ragged breath and panting had become loud moans once more and he could feel it coming, he was going to cum!  It just felt so amazing and good and perfect, he almost didn’t want to cum because he didn’t want this moment to end!  But then, completely out of his control, he came.  And he felt the release as his semen shot high into the air and landed on his chest.  At the same time, he felt Snape’s cock twitch inside of him and he smiled widely.  They had both cum at the _same time!!_   And for some reason, that thought made him very happy.  Like they were in sync with each other…

Then, Snape pulled out of him.  Harry frowned and then sat up on the desk.  He winced, feeling for the first time exactly how much his ass and back hurt. 

 

***

Severus saw his wince and suddenly all of his shame came back…  He had just raped a fifteen year old boy…  and when he realized that what he was doing was wrong, he didn’t stop, instead he had consensual sex with the boy…  Which wasn’t nearly as wrong, but it was still wrong…  He was underage…  And Severus was an adult, he should have told the boy no…  He shouldn’t have done that…  He shouldn’t have done any of that…

As Harry got dressed, he watched as the warmth in Snape’s eyes faded away and the dark tunnels returned…  He sighed and then walked over to Snape.  Walking was painful, but he wouldn’t let it show on his face.  Then he finally got to Snape and gave him a kiss on the lips.  Snape looked at him in shock and Harry said

“I know that you probably… regret this.  But I want you to know that I don’t.  I love you, Snape.  And even if you don’t and you never do, even if this never happens again; I will always treasure this memory.  It doesn’t matter that you were initially raping me, for whatever reason.  Maybe to punish my father for how horrible he was to you in school,” Snape flinched and Harry guessed that he was right… “But this was amazing, and I’m glad that it happened.  And it’s ok if you want to pretend like this never happened, but if you ever decide that you want to do this again, I’ll be more than happy to.  I love you Snape.  Now, goodnight.”

Then Harry turned around and walked out the door without waiting for Snape to reply.  He didn’t want to hear that this would be the last time…  He wanted to continue to hope…  He had come here to get rejected, but instead he had had sex with the man that he loved.  And he just wouldn’t be able to take a rejection after that…  Maybe that made him a coward…  But he just wanted to hope that maybe, just maybe, this would make Snape start to like him too…  Maybe even love him…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment. I really want to know what you thought. And sorry for the wait, I've been working on another story called Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, it's G rated unlike this one ;). So please tell me what you think and leave comments, I really really want to know how you feel about my story :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Potter raped Severus Snape when they were fifteen. He never told anyone and it still haunts him to this day. And yet every day he must see the man's son. The man who raped him had a son with the woman that he loved and the mere sight of the boy makes his blood boil. Only one problem, Harry Potter is in love with Severus Snape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling  
> Warning: This chapter contains talk and vague descriptions of rape.

Harry winced as he walked up the stairs to the Gryffindor tower; stairs hurt a lot more than regular walking did…  When he finally got there, he gave the Fat Lady the password and then walked through the portrait hole.  After taking only a few steps into the common room, his vision was suddenly crowded with a mass of bushy brown hair. 

“H-Hermione!” Harry said, quite shocked at the sudden hug.  She pulled back enough to look at his face and said

“Oh Harry, I’ve been so worried about you!  How did it go?  Tell me what happened, did you do it??” Harry blushed at the memory.  He had gone to Snape’s dungeon prepared to have his love rejected and instead, he had been raped by the man.  But he had enjoyed it.  Does that still make it rape?  Well it was consensual by the end of it at least…  And it’s not as though Harry ever said no…

“Harry!” Hermione said, giving him a bit of a shake, he had blushed and gone into a kind of trance. “Are you ok?” Harry wasn’t sure how to answer that.  He wasn’t sure what to tell her, or even whether or not to tell her at all…  If he said it the wrong way, she may become furious with Snape, and that was the last thing he wanted…  A part of him was telling him not to tell her anything at all, but Harry really wanted to tell her.  He really wanted to tell somebody, and Hermione was the only person that he _could_ tell. 

“Yeah, I’m fine Hermione.” Said Harry with a wide grin “Actually, I’m better than fine, I’m amazing!”

Hermione wasn’t really sure what to make of this response.  It couldn’t be that Snape actually like him too, could it?  No, that couldn’t be…  But she couldn’t think of any other reason why Harry would have responded like that.  If he hadn’t told him, then he would be disappointed in himself and if he had then he would have been rejected.

“W-what do you mean Harry?” she asked “What happened?”

“Let’s sit down.” Said Harry, then they both went over and sat down in the squishy arm chairs by the fire.

“Now tell me Harry, what happened with Professor Snape?”   Harry wasn’t really sure what to say or where to start, but he had to start somewhere, so he began,

“Well, I told Snape how I felt.”

“Good for you!” said Hermione.

“Yeah, but it didn’t really happen the way that I thought it would…” he said.

“How did it happen then?” she asked.

“Well, I was late to detention because I almost lost my nerve a couple times, and when I got there Snape wasn’t in the best mood.  So when I tried to come out and say it, he told me to be quiet.” Harry was now speaking quite fast, trying to get everything out without interruption. “So I didn’t get to tell him, but then he told me to strip-”

“Wait, what?” Hermione exclaimed “He told you to do what??” Harry blushed and looked down at his feet.

“H-he told me that he had a special punishment for me and then he told me to… take my clothes off…”

“And did you??”

“Yeah…” Harry said, he was quite embarrassed to tell this to Hermione, he knew that she would react badly to it…

There was silence for about a minute, and then Hermione said

“Well, what happened after that..?” She wasn’t sure whether or not she really wanted to know, but Harry was her friend and she needed to know if that man had done something to him.  Then she would have to make good on her oath to herself, and she would deal with Snape in her own way…

“Well, after he told me to strip, he then told me to turn around and face the desk.” Hermione didn’t like where this was going… “And then he… uh… he put his finger in my-”

“What???” Hermione practically yelled “He did what?  Harry, that’s illegal!  That counts as sexual harassment, sexual harassment of a miner, sexual activities with a miner, sexual activities with a student by a Professor, underage anal play and manual rape!”

“…I know that Hermione but I… I wanted him to…”

“That doesn’t make it consensual, Harry.” Hermione said “You’re fifteen; you’re not old enough to give consent.  He’s an adult, he should have known better.”

“…Yes but, I’m glad that he didn’t…” Hermione was furious, but she buried her anger and said

“So, what happened after that?” Harry blushed, remembering what had happened next.

“Well, then he put another finger in… and then a third… and then he took them out and then he… he put his-”

“Harry, are you telling me what I think you’re telling me..?  Did Professor Snape _rape_ you??”

“S-sort of, I guess… not really though because I wanted him to so it was consensual.”

“Yes, but Harry, did he know that?”

“Well… no… I guess not…” Hermione felt sick to her stomach.  She couldn’t believe what she was hearing…  Professor Snape had _raped_ Harry.  And he may have wanted him to, but Professor Snape didn’t know that.  She wouldn’t let him get away with this…  She couldn’t!  Who knows if that was even the first time he had done it…  And if he had then she doubted that they would be as happy about it as Harry was…

She had decided, first thing tomorrow morning, she was going straight to Professor McGonagall about this, whether Harry wanted her to or not!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Severus Snape was fifteen James Potter raped him. He never told anyone, believing that he would exact his revenge on Potter. But James Potter is dead now. And so is Lily, the woman that he loved. But they had a son, Harry Potter, who just happens to look just like his Father. So Snape does get his revenge on Potter, just not the right one... Snape rapes Harry Potter, just like James had raped him. But Harry loves Snape, so he wanted him to. So now Snape is confused and Harry is happy and hopeful, if a bit sore. But he's just told Hermione about it and she is not happy with Snape at all!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer; All characters belong to J.K.Rowling  
> Warning: Talk of rape

Harry wished that he hadn’t told Hermione anything…  It had gone just as badly as he thought that it would.  She was furious with Snape and he didn’t know what she might do.  She could get him sacked, or even arrested if she wanted to!  He just couldn’t let that happen.

“Hermione, I need you to promise me that you won’t tell anybody.” Hermione looked at him furiously and for a second he thought that she was going to yell, but she didn’t and instead she said

“Harry, you’re my friend and what Professor Snape did to you was… wrong.  Just wrong.  And I’m sorry Harry, but I just can’t let him get away with that.”

“I love him Hermione.” Harry said, pleadingly “And if you tell someone about this then I may never see him again...  Please, just keep this between us.  I’m not upset about this at all, and yes, I know that what he did was wrong, but I’ll deal with that in my own way.  So please, just don’t tell anybody.”

“But Harry, what if he’s done this to other students?  What if he does it again?  I doubt that any of the other students are in love with Professor Snape so they _would_ be traumatised by such an experience.”

Harry felt a sickening feeling in his stomach at the thought that the man he loved could possibly do something so horrible.  There was absolutely no way!  But… he’d done it to Harry easily enough… who was to say that was his first time raping a student…  Along with the sickening feeling Harry suddenly felt something else, jealousy.  He wanted to be the only one.  He wanted to be special to Snape.  He felt horrible about that thought though…  If other students had been raped by him then what kind of a person did it make him to feel jealous of them..?  But there was no way…  Harry just knew it.  And Snape had practically admitted to him that the reason he had done it was revenge on his father, so it just couldn’t be.  It just couldn’t.

“He couldn’t have done that Hermione.” He said.

“But how do you _know_?  You don’t really know him, you don’t know what he’s done, what he’s capable of.  You can’t be sure that this was the only time.”

“I guess I don’t really know him.” Said Harry “And I’ll never get a chance to if you just go straight to McGonagall.” Hermione blushed a bit ashamedly. “What if this _was_ the only time?  If you tell someone all it will do is cause harm.  I love him Hermione.  So let me get to know him, since as you just said, I don’t really.  And if he has raped anyone else then I won’t let my love get in the way of doing the right thing.  I will go to a teacher and make sure that he pays the price for his actions.  But I don’t believe that he did, and I don’t believe that he ever will again.”

“…But Harry, you don’t really _know_ that…” Hermione could feel that she was losing this argument; she really didn’t have much else to say…

“I know that Hermione, but as my friend I need you to trust my judgment and my ability to do what is right.  I need you to trust me and I need you to support me.  I didn’t tell you this so that you could go off and tell a teacher and get the man I love sacked and arrested.  I told you because I was really happy earlier because I just lost my virginity to the man I love and I wanted to tell my best friend.”

Hermione felt horrible… She really hadn’t tried to listen to Harry, this was something very important to him and she had gone and ruined it…  They could save the “what if’s” for later.

“I’m sorry Harry…  I didn’t mean to ruin it for you…  But what Snape did was very wrong and I’m just afraid that-“

“I understand.” Said Harry “And I promise you, I will find out if he has done anything like that before or if he’s planning to continue.  But I don’t think that he has or will.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“I just am.” Said Harry “And besides, I know why he did it in the first place and that reason was specific to me.  Sort of.  But there’s no way that that reason could possibly apply to anyone else.  Especially not a student.”

“…Alright Harry.” Said Hermione “I’m going to trust you, so whatever happens is up to you.”

“Thank you.”  Said Harry “But right now there’s something else we need to talk about.”

“What is it?” Hermione asked.

“You need to tell Ron now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please please comment!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Severus Snape was fifteen James Potter raped him. He never told anyone, believing that he would exact his revenge on Potter. But James Potter is dead now. And so is Lily, the woman that he loved. But they had a son, Harry Potter, who just happens to look just like his Father. So Snape does get his revenge on Potter, just not the right one... Snape rapes Harry Potter, just like James had raped him. But Harry loves Snape, so he wanted him to. So now Snape is confused and Harry is happy and hopeful, if a bit sore. He told Hermione about it and although she was very angry at first, Harry calmed her down and then reminded her of their deal. Once Harry has told Snape, then Hermione must tell Ron...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling

“You need to tell Ron now.” Harry said.  Hermione sighed, she’d almost forgotten that Harry telling Snape how he felt about him meant that she now had to tell Ron how she felt about him.  Almost.

 “I know.  I know that I said that I would but… I just don’t know how to tell him…”

“Well you have to tell him.” Said Harry “This has gone on for long enough.  He needs to know Hermione.” Harry knew that he was being harsh, but it was what she needed right now… she’d liked him for over two years.  Enough was enough, she needed to tell him.

“I know Harry… but what if he freaks out?  What if he doesn’t even want to be my friend anymore once he knows?  What if he thinks it’s weird?” Hermione knew that she would be devastated if any of those things happened… And they were all quite possible…

“Then that’s his loss.” Said Harry. “If he’s going to act like a git about it then it’ll be his fault that he lost out on such an amazing girl.” Hermione felt tears of happiness prick her eyes at Harry’s words.

“Oh Harry!” She said as she jumped out of her chair to hug him.  He was such an amazing friend; she really didn’t know what she would do without him. 

“I’m serious,” Harry said “you are absolutely the most amazing girl I’ve ever met.  You’re brilliant, beautiful, caring, understanding, and even though you can be a bit bossy at times, you always mean well and it shows that you really care.  Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

“I’m really not all that great…” she said.

“Yes, Hermione, you really are.  If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m gay, I’d probably love you, or at the very least be attracted to you.  Because you _are_ amazing.  And if Ron rejects you, then he’s a stupid git who doesn’t know perfection when he sees it.”

“Do you really mean it Harry..?” Harry smiled.

“Of course I do.” He said.  Hermione hugged him even tighter for a second before letting him go.   

“Thank you Harry…” She said “And I’m really not trying to make excuses, I really am going to tell him, but… I don’t really know when…  We have our first O.W.L. in two weeks!  And I’m so behind on studying…  I haven’t even looked at my notes for Ancient Runes…” Harry smiled

“You’ll do fine Hermione.  You’d probably get the best grade without even looking at a single note once.” But Harry felt a sudden twinge of regret as he realized that he hadn’t studied any of his subjects at all for his upcoming O.W.L.s, as his mind had been a little preoccupied… “But I guess it couldn’t hurt to study a bit… could you help me?”

“Of course.” Hermione said brightly, clearly glad to be off the subject of Ron.  Harry, seeing her relief said, with a smirk.

“Do you want me to go get Ron?  He should study too.  And then you could tell –”

“Harry Potter!” She said smacking him playfully on the arm “You had better not!”

“Fine, fine.” Harry said, laughing. “But you do have to tell him soon, you know.  It’s been over two years now, you can’t just keep pining over him without telling him forever.”

“I know… And I will.  I promise.  I said that I will and I am going to keep my word.  But… could I have some time..?”

“That’s perfectly fine.”  Said Harry “Just as long as you do it before the end of the school year.”

“Okay Harry.  I promise that I will.  Now we should really get to studying.  What do you want to look at first?”

“How about Potions?” said Harry with a smile.  Hermione laughed.

“Okay Harry, we’ll start with your new favourite subject.”

“Hey, I still don’t really like the subject, I’m terrible at it.  I just love the teacher.  And if I want to stay in his class next year then I need to get an Outstanding in my O.W.L.” They both laughed as they went into their bags and pulled out their Potions notes and past essays.

Meanwhile in the fifth year boys dormitory Ron was angrier than he had ever been in his life… and it was all his EX-best friend Harry Potter’s fault…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me what you think. And why you think Ron is so angry with Harry that he would consider him his "Ex-best friend"???


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Severus Snape was fifteen James Potter raped him. He never told anyone, believing that he would exact his revenge on Potter. But James Potter is dead now. And so is Lily, the woman that he loved. But they had a son, Harry Potter, who just happens to look just like his Father. So Snape does get his revenge on Potter, just not the right one... Snape rapes Harry Potter, just like James had raped him. But Harry loves Snape, so he wanted him to. So now Snape is confused and Harry is happy and hopeful, if a bit sore. He told Hermione about it and although she was very angry at first, Harry calmed her down and then reminded her of their deal. Once Harry has told Snape, then Hermione must tell Ron... However, up in the common Room Ron is steaming mad at Harry, who he now considers his EX-best friend. What could have happened???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling.  
> Warning: This chapter contains talk of sex and adult language.

It was just a couple of minutes ago; he had come down to the common room to see if Harry was back from detention yet, because he had some very important questions to ask him…  He and Hermione had been hiding something from him for weeks, he could just feel it.  And that little silent exchange that they had during dinner…  It had made Ron suspect them of something that he never thought could be possible, _what if they were shagging each other?_   And almost as if to prove it to him, as Harry was leaving for detention, Hermione had run up to him and hugged him!  Then it looked like she had whispered something in his ear…  What could it have been?  But never mind that…  His two best friends were shagging, he just knew it!  And that very thought infuriated him.

Now, Ron wasn’t exactly very good at the whole “love” and “feelings” thing.  He’d always known that.  But at some point between the yule ball last year and the end of summer, he had slowly realized that he fancied Hermione…  But he didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to do about it!  He had known he’d fancied her for almost a year now and he didn’t know what to do!  He had considered asking one of his older brothers about girls and how to tell one of them when you fancied them, after all, they’d all had girlfriends before, so they must know something. 

However, Ron couldn’t ask Bill or Charlie because they were out of the country, and he didn’t even really know how to talk about this stuff, never mind put it into a letter.  And Percy was being a total prat, not that he would ask him anyway.  He’d probably give stupid advice.  Either that or tell him not to associate with people who are close to Harry Potter.  And if he went to Fred and George then he knew that they would just make fun of him and next thing he knew, the entire school would know that he fancied Hermione…  But they weren't even at the school anymore anyways...

So he didn’t know who else to turn to…  He didn’t know what to do…  It was so damn frustrating!  How did people do it?  How did they just go up to a girl and ask her out?  Hell, he hadn’t even managed to get a date for the yule ball last year…  He’d been too much of an idiot to ask Hermione and then he had screamed at a part-veela, who of course turned him down.  In the end, Harry had been the one to get him a date, but he was too busy hating Krum (which he now knew was because he was jealous, not that he’d ever admit it) to pay her any attention and then some bloke comes and asks her to dance.  How did that bloke do it?  Just ask her to dance like that…  Why couldn’t there be another yule ball or something…

All these thoughts ran through his head as he had walked down the spiral staircase to the common room.  He was about to walk in when he heard Harry’s voice say

“You need to tell Ron now.” He froze immediately.  Then he heard someone sigh and then he heard Hermione’s voice say

“I know.  I know that I said that I would but… I just don’t know how to tell him…” Hermione had told Harry that she would tell him something?  What could she want to tell him?  He was about to walk into the room and ask her that, when it dawned on him.  She probably wanted to tell him that her and Harry were together!  Then he heard Harry say

“Well you have to tell him.  This has gone on for long enough.  He needs to know Hermione.” How long had they kept their relationship a secret from him?  They probably thought he was such a fool…

“I know Harry… but what if he freaks out?” said Hermione “What if he doesn’t even want to be my friend anymore once he knows?  What if he thinks it’s weird?”

“Then that’s his loss.” said Harry “If he’s going to act like a git about it then it’ll be his fault that he lost out on such an amazing girl.” Ron gritted his teeth in anger.  His best friend had stolen his bloody girl!  Oh why the hell had he waited so long to tell her??  Now she was gone and he could never have her…  She was _his_ …  She was Harry bloody Potter’s girlfriend now…  He clenched his fists in anger and he didn’t know whether he wanted to interrupt them and say something or just walk away like he had never heard anything.  He stepped out of the staircase, still undecided, but then Hermione yelled

“Oh Harry!” and then she jumped out of her chair to hug him.  They were probably going to start snogging and Ron wasn’t going to stick around to watch that.  He stomped up the stairs to the dormitory, all the way hearing the couple downstairs.

 “I’m serious,” Harry said “you are absolutely the most amazing girl I’ve ever met.  You’re brilliant, beautiful, caring, understanding, and even though you can be a bit bossy at times, you always mean well and it shows that you really care…” His voice was slowly fading away and that was the last word Ron heard before he opened the dormitory door and then slammed it shut, waking Seamus and Neville and startling Dean who was still awake.

“What’s going on Ron?” Dean asked, concerned.

“Leave me alone.” Ron said viciously before throwing himself onto his bed and pulling the curtains so violently across his bed that they ripped.  He pulled out his wand and fixed them before turning to his pillow and starting to punch it with all of his might and anger. 

“Stupid.  Bloody.  Best.  Friend.  Stealing.  My.  Girl.” His words were quiet and in time with his punches so they were muffled and all that the other Gryffindor boys could here was the pummeling of a pillow.  Seamus decided to leave it alone and go back to sleep.  Ron wasn’t exactly pleasant when he was in a bad mood.  The red-head had quite the temper and he was best left alone.  Neville and Dean however, were staring at each other with equal looks of shock and concern.  What could’ve happened?

When Ron was tired out from his punches, he lay down on his now very misshapen pillow and closed his eyes, trying to forget what he had heard.  It was no use though…  And he just kept imagining the two of them in the common room snogging each other’s brains out.  Why hadn’t he told Hermione sooner..?  Why was he such a coward?  Why didn’t he just go up and do it..?  The words that Harry had said ran through his mind _“Then that’s his loss.  If he’s going to act like a git about it then it’ll be his fault that he lost out on such an amazing girl.”_ It really was his fault…  Hermione deserved so much better than him…  Maybe she would be happy with Harry…

And as Ron drifted into and uneasy sleep, plagued with nightmares about his two best friends, a single tear fell from his eye and rolled down his cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now Ron REALLY thinks that Harry and Hermione are dating! What do you think he will do and what do you think will happen next???


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Severus Snape was fifteen James Potter raped him. He never told anyone, believing that he would exact his revenge on Potter. But James Potter is dead now. And so is Lily, the woman that he loved. But they had a son, Harry Potter, who just happens to look just like his Father. So Snape does get his revenge on Potter, just not the right one... Snape rapes Harry Potter, just like James had raped him. But Harry loves Snape, so he wanted him to. So now Snape is confused and Harry is happy and hopeful, if a bit sore. He told Hermione about it and although she was very angry at first, Harry calmed her down and then reminded her of their deal that once he tells Snape, Hermione must tell Ron. But Ron overheard their conversation and thought that it meant that HARRY AND HERMIONE ARE DATING!! So now he is extremely jealous, what will happen next??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling.  
> Warning: This chapter contains talk of sex and adult language.

“I know that you probably… regret this.  But I want you to know that I don’t.  I love you, Snape.  And even if you don’t and you never do, even if this never happens again; I will always treasure this memory.  It doesn’t matter that you were initially raping me, for whatever reason.  Maybe to punish my father for how horrible he was to you in school,” Severus flinched, how could the boy have figured that out?  He couldn’t possibly know what his father had done…  Then remembered the memory that he had pulled the boy out of during their last Occlumency lesson.  He had thought that the boy had enjoyed watching him being tortured… but apparently not…“But this was amazing, and I’m glad that it happened.  And it’s ok if you want to pretend like this never happened, but if you ever decide that you want to do this again, I’ll be more than happy to.  I love you Snape.  Now, goodnight.”

Then the boy left the room before Severus could say a word.  He wasn’t sure what to do…  He wasn’t sure what to think…  What he had just done was horrible…  He had inflicted the same torture on his student as had been done to him…  He was worse than James Potter…  But why was it that the boy had reacted so… well… to it..?  Why did he not want to kill him?  Severus hated the shame and confusion and pure disgust and loathing for himself that was going through him, so in an effort to take his mind off of it, he went to his pensieve and using his wand, he chose the very memory that the boy had saw that Wednesday in April…

He bent forward and felt himself falling into his memory.  He was standing in the Great Hall when he had taken his defense against the Dark Arts O.W.L.  The House tables had been replaced with hundreds of desks and as he turned around, he saw his sixteen year old self bent low over the parchment as he wrote the answers.  Severus’ lip twitched in a sort of tiny momentary smirk, seeing himself there, it was rather nostalgic. 

“Five more minutes!” said Flitwick.

Severus turned to look at him and regretted it immediately.  There was James Potter.  He clenched his fist and reminded himself that this was only a memory and that James Potter was really dead.  Severus turned back to look at his teenage self and saw that he had stopped writing.  Severus remembered that he had turned to look at Flitwick too, only to see Potter, who had raped him only a couple weeks previous to this.  Young Severus’ fists were clenched and he was shaking with what Severus remembered to be anger, humiliation, hatred and fighting back tears of pure sadness…

Severus wanted to comfort his younger self.  Tell him that he could make Potter pay for what he did to him if he had only told somebody.  Anybody.  But this had already happened…  And he could never change it… No matter how much or desperately he wanted to…

Young Severus eventually pulled himself together enough to finish writing before Flitwick squeaked

“Quills down, please!  That means you too Stebbins!  Please remain seated while I collect your parchment!  _Accio!_ ” All of the scrolls flew towards Flitwick, knocking him down.  Some of the students helped him up while young Severus hurried off outside, taking the question sheet with him. 

Severus followed his younger self as he walked outside.  Severus knew that reading the exam paper was only a front, in order to seem busy.  Young Severus’ mind was really on James Potter and what he had done to him…  Taking the exam had been a relief, a way to keep his mind busy.  But now that it was over, Severus remembered that all of the thoughts and feelings had come rushing back and there was no way for him to get rid of them…  So he just wandered aimlessly, pretending like he was rereading his exam paper.

Severus wished though, that he could’ve told his younger self to pay attention to where he was going because he was walking dangerously close to James Potter and his little band of Gryffindors…  Then Young Severus sat down in a little shadowy clump of bushes. 

Severus said comforting words to his younger self, wishing that he could hear them…  Because he knew why his younger self had chosen to sit here in these dark bushes…  It was because here, nobody would see him cry…

However, that didn’t stop Potter from seeing him…  Though he couldn’t see his face, he could still see him…  Both Severuses heard Potter say to Black

“This’ll liven you up, Padfoot.  Look who it is…” Black turned to look at him and Young Severus quickly stood up and stuffed his O.W.L. question sheet into his bag and tried to get away from them as soon as he could.

“All right, Snivellus?” Young Snape’s face contorted with anger and fury and he quickly pulled out his wand to curse Potter only for Potter to shout

“ _Expelliarmus!_ ” And have it fly out of his hand onto the ground.  Black laughed.

Then as Young Severus dived for his wand, Black pulled out his and yelled

“ _Impedimenta!_ ” and he was knocked off of his feet.  People had started to crowd around as Potter and Black drew nearer and nearer to him. 

“How’d the Exam go, Snivelly?” asked Potter.

“I was watching him,” Said Black “His nose was touching the parchment, there’ll be grease marks all over it, they won’t be able to read a word.” People around them laughed as Young Severus tried to get up, but the jink was still operating and it was as though he was bound by invisible ropes. 

“You – wait,” panted young Severus, he was staring up at Potter with an expression of purest loathing.  That was the man that had raped him.  And at that point in his life he believed that he would have his revenge. “you – wait!”

“Wait for what?” said Black cooly. “What’re you gonna do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?”

Young Severus then let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand so far away, nothing at all happened.

“Wash out your mouth.” Said Potter “ _Scourgify!_ ” Then a stream of pink soap bubbles began to stream from his mouth, making him unable to breathe.

“Leave him ALONE!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now who knows who that is? lol. What do you think of this chapter? What do you want to read next? And what do you think will happen next between Ron, Harry and Hermione?


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Severus Snape was fifteen James Potter raped him. He never told anyone, believing that he would exact his revenge on Potter. But James Potter is dead now. And so is Lily, the woman that he loved. But they had a son, Harry Potter, who just happens to look just like his Father. So Snape does get his revenge on Potter, just not the right one... Snape rapes Harry Potter, just like James had raped him. But Harry loves Snape, so he wanted him to. So now Snape is confused feeling extremely guilty. In an effort to get his mind off of the present, he delves into the past. Deciding to watch the same memory that Potter saw during their last Occlumency lesson...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling.  
> Warning: This chapter contains sexual content and public humiliation. Reader discretion is advised.

“Leave him ALONE!” came the all too familiar voice of Lily Evans.  Severus turned to look at her.  She was so beautiful…  Her beautiful thick, dark red hair that fell to her shoulders and startlingly green almond-shaped eyes… the same as her son’s.  That was the only place he could see them now… 

Severus was suddenly caught up in thoughts of what Lily would say if she knew what he had done to her son…  He had raped him…  He had raped the son of the woman that he loved…  That he still loved…  Oh Lily…  What would she say to him, if she knew what he had done..?

Severus snapped back to reality and he realized that he had missed some of the dialog

“Bad luck, Prongs,” said Black as Young Severus had finally gotten a hold of his wand and was pointing it at Potter. “OI!”

Then there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’ face, spattering his robes with blood.  That was one of the early stages of _Septemsempra_ , the spell had been called _Segmentum_ then and this was Young Severus’ time to test it and it had cut him, yes.  But Severus had created the spell to torture and then killed his victim as they bled dry.  One measly gash would never have done that…  Severus had wanted to _kill_ James.  That was why he had started creating the spell in the first place.  Right after James had raped him.  It was the only thing that had kept him going.  That and the future Death Eaters that he hung around with.  If he joined Voldemort, then he was sure that he would be able to exact his revenge on Potter…

Then Potter whirled around and after yet another flash of light, Young Severus was hanging upside –down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, palled legs and a pair of greying underwear. 

“Let him down!” Lily shouted at Potter as the crowd around them cheered.

“Certainly,” said Potter as young Severus fell to the ground in a crumpled heap.  Severus quickly got to his feet and pulled out his wand but then Black yelled

“ _Petrificus Totalus!_ ” and young Severus kneeled over, rigid as a board.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted as she took her own wand out and pointed it at James.

“Ah, Evans, don’t make me hex you,” said Potter.  And Severus remembered that it was that simple statement that had encouraged Young Severus to make a decision.  Ever since he had been raped, Severus had been doing his best to avoid Lily.  Both because he knew that she could see right through him and she would know that something was wrong, and because he wanted to protect her.  He had dedicated his life to revenge.  And so as much as he loved her and as much as he wanted her, he couldn’t have her as a part of his life.  It was far too dangerous. 

However, this simple statement from Potter had made Severus realize that as long as they were friends, Lily would do anything to protect him.  Stupid noble Gryffindor…  So Severus needed to end their friendship.  But if he tried to do it by simply saying it then he knew that she would know that something was wrong and refuse it and try to figure out what was wrong.  He needed to make her hate him…

Then Lily said

“Take the curse off him then!” Potter sighed and then turned to Young Severus and muttered the counter-curse.

“There you go,” he said as young Severus struggled to his feet. “You’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus –”

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

Lily blinked.

“Fine.” She said “I won’t bother in future.  And I’d wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_.”

Then Potter and Lily began to argue.  But Severus looked at the expression on the face of his younger self.  He knew what was going through his mind right then.  He could tell how hurt Lily was.  It was very uncharacteristic of her to be mean, and she only acted like that when she was extremely upset…  Young Severus had begun to regret what he had said.  He began to listen to his heart, rather than his mind.  He knew that it would be best for Lily if she wasn’t friends with him anymore, but… he just loved her so much…  He couldn’t stand the fact that he had hurt her… And he couldn’t stand the idea of her hating him…  And more than anything, he couldn’t stand the idea of being away from her… forever…

Which was the reason why that night, Young Severus had decided to sleep outside of the girl’s dormitory until he could talk to Lily and apologize.  But he couldn’t tell her the reason why he had said it…  And he had called other Muggleborns Mudbloods before as well, and that didn’t help his case…  But he had only done this so that the pureblood Slytherins who had family connections to death eaters would like and trust him, again so that he could get his revenge.  But he couldn’t tell Lily that…  He just couldn’t…  So in the end, he had achieved what he had been aiming for in the first place.  Lily hated him and was no longer friends with him.  So in a way, Severus was responsible for Lily ending up with James and not him…  He was responsible for her ending up with that horrible man…  If only he would have forgotten about his revenge and just told somebody…  Things may have turned out so differently…

Severus turned his attention back to the memory as Black told Potter that Lily (who seemed to have already left) thought that he was conceited.

“Right,” said Potter, who now looked furious “right –”

Then there was a flash of light and Young Severus was hanging upside-down in the air once more.

“Who wants to see me take off Snivelly’s pants?” Severus remembered that this was as far as Harry Potter had seen.  And thank goodness for that…  Besides the rape that had happened a couple weeks earlier, this was the most humiliating thing that had ever happened to him…

The crowd cheered at Potter’s words.

“Go on, do it!” said Black, with a gleeful look on his face.  Severus then looked over to where Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin sat.  Pettigrew was watching hungrily, even as a boy it seems, he loved to watch torture.  Never do it himself, no…  But he liked to watch it.  Watch others being humiliated and in pain…  However, Lupin, who had been reading his book until then, trying to ignore everything that was going on, had finally looked up.  A look of great disappointment and annoyance on his face. 

Severus turned back to look at himself as Potter had finally made his decision.  He flicked his wand and Severus’ greying underwear slid right up his legs and then down onto to ground.  The watching crowd was ecstatic.  Some laughed, some pointed, some even screamed.  Potter had a nasty smile on his face, and if anyone had cared to look at him properly, they would have seen that he had an erection, that even despite the robes, was extremely obvious.  But no one noticed that.  They were all staring at young Severus, his arse and genitals on display for all to see…

Black looked at him in what appeared to be shock.  Apparently he had not expected his best friend to go this far…  Severus, in a desperate attempt to look anywhere but at his humiliation, looked over to where Pettigrew and Lupin were.  Pettigrew had fallen over laughing, but Lupin had stood up, put his book down and had started to stride over to where Black and Potter were. 

He went up to Potter and whispered into his ear

“Don’t you think you’ve gone a bit too far, James..?”

“Nonsense!” said Potter, looking taken aback that his friend would say something like that. “Where’s your Marauder spirit?  We’ve gone farther than this before.”

“…No we haven’t.” said Lupin, eyeing Potter suspiciously.  Potter had not told his friends that he had raped Young Severus only a few weeks previous.  He was concerned about his precious _image_.  He didn’t want his friends or the rest of the school to know that he was a rapist.  Or that he’d had sex with Severus at all, consensual or not.  And it was definitely not.

Then Potter, realizing that his image was at stake if he went any farther, flicked his wand and Severus dropped to the ground with a thud.  Young Severus quickly stood upright, grabbed his underwear and marched off towards the castle.  No one but Severus saw the tears that had streaked up and down his younger self’s face. 

It was this more than anything that had made Young Severus want Lily back as a friend that night.  He needed someone to comfort him.  His only other friends were Pureblood Slytherins who had grown up believing that comfort and love were weaknesses and that if he wanted or needed them that he was weak and unwelcome among them.  He needed Lily.  But he had made his decision.  And it had turned out the way that he had wanted in the first place…  She hated him and wanted nothing to do with him…  And the sad part was they had never made up before she died…  So Severus wasn’t sure if she had died hating him still or not…  He had joined the Order in the end though.  That had to count for something, didn’t it?

Severus felt himself leaving the pensive now that the memory was over.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is so late... What with the Holiday and then there was a blackout and then my internet shut down for a while because my cable broke and then the stress of exams... There's just a lot of reasons. But I hope that you enjoyed this chapter :) and please leave a comment sharing your thoughts and feelings about it. :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Severus Snape was fifteen James Potter raped him. He never told anyone, believing that he would exact his revenge on Potter. But James Potter is dead now. And so is Lily, the woman that he loved. But they had a son, Harry Potter, who just happens to look just like his Father. So Snape does get his revenge on Potter, just not the right one... Snape rapes Harry Potter, just like James had raped him. But Harry loves Snape, so he wanted him to. So now Snape is confused and feeling extremely guilty. In an effort to get his mind off of the present, he delves into the past. Deciding to watch the same memory that Potter saw during their last Occlumency lesson. However, Harry did not see the end of it, where James Potter actually takes off Snape's pants in front of a crowd who can then see at his genitals and ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling.  
> Warning: This chapter contains very sexual content.

Severus regretted watching that memory again.  Though it had taken his mind off of the present, now it was stuck in the past…  Oh how he wished that he had told somebody what James Potter had done to him…  Oh how he wished that he had just forgotten about his revenge and just been with Lily…  Oh how he wished that he had told Lily what Potter had done…  Then she never would have had anything to do with him…

_But if Lily hadn’t have ended up with Potter, then Harry Potter never would have been born._ Severus thought to himself suddenly.  Wait, why would he care whether or not that brat was born?  Why should he care at all about the boy?  Then his mind was brought back to the present and what he had done to that brat hit him again, with such force that he had to hold onto the table that the pensive was sitting on in order to stay standing.  He was absolutely disgusted with himself.  How could he have done that to a child?  How could he have done that at all?  Rape was a horrible thing to do to a person.  It had been done to him and now he had done it to another…  What was wrong with him?  Had he finally gone mad?  No, he had done that long ago…  But what on earth had possessed him to do such a disgusting thing???      

_But you enjoyed it,_ Severus thought to himself _And so did he._

_That doesn’t matter!_ Severus thought back at himself.  The fact that he had enjoyed it only made it all the worse!  He had raped a fifteen year old boy!

_But he liked it._

He had raped Lily’s son!

_But he loves you._

“SHUT UP!” Severus shouted aloud.  He put his hands over his ears as if trying to block out the sound of his own thoughts, but of course, it didn’t work.

_He loves you Severus.  He wanted you to do that.  He never fought or struggled and he never said no.  For years, you have been lost in grief and anger and sadness and for a moment, a single moment, you had become happy.  For the first time since you were fifteen years old, you were happy again.  And the boy wasn’t upset at all about it.  Not even in the slightest.  He even said that he wanted to do it again–_

What the bloody hell was wrong with him??  Of course he wasn’t going to do it again!  So what if he had become happy for the first time in his life since he was fifteen?  He was used to being unhappy.  That’s what his life was, and that was how it was going to stay.  Especially if the only solution was sex with Harry Potter.

He would never, ever do that again.  That, he swore to himself.  Never again would he have any kind of sex with one Harry James Potter.  Ever.

And with that, Severus went to bed and eventually drifted into an uneasy sleep…

*

_“Harry...” Severus called longingly. “Harry, come here… please…”_

_“Yes professor?” Harry said politely._

_“I need you Harry” said Severus in a deep, needy voice. “I want you.  I want to be inside of you.”_

_“Are you sure that’s what you want professor..?” Harry said, breathlessly._

_“Yes…” Said Severus as grabbed the boy and threw him over his shoulder and he marched the two of them off to his dungeons.  The world around them steadily got darker and darker as they traveled deeper and deeper into the earth.  However, as they travelled, they didn’t seem to be in Hogwarts anymore.  Now they were in a long dark hallway with stone walls and torches burning in brackets all along it._

_Harry recognised it._

_It was the same dark hallway that he had dreamt about many, many times that year.  He hadn’t had this dream for weeks because he had been dreaming of Severus every night.  Why would he be dreaming about it again?_

_But never mind that, this was his chance to find out what Voldemort was after!_

_“Severus, could you put me down?” Harry asked.  Calling Snape “Severus” had always just seemed right in his dreams._

_“…Why Harry?  Don’t you want me to be inside of you..?”_

_“…Yes…” said Harry, but then he grit his teeth and said “But that will have to be later, we need to find out what Voldemort wants from here.”_

_“But you are forgetting our lessons Harry.  It is not up to you to find out what the Dark Lord is up to.”_

_“It may not be up to me, but I’m the only one who can, Severus.  Now please just let me down.”_

_“…Alright.” Said Severus as he put Harry down in front of him.  Harry turned around and saw it, the plain black door.  It was open, but it was slowly closing. “Come on!” Harry yelled, grabbing Severus’ hand and running down the corridor, with Severus trailing along behind him.  They reached the door before it shut but Harry couldn’t push it open and the slowly closing gap between the door and the wall wasn’t enough for Severus to get through as well._

_“I’m sorry Severus, but I have to go alone.”_

_“No Harry, it’s far too dangerous.” Severus replied; worry clear in his onyx eyes._

_“I’ve been through danger before Severus, I’ll be all right.”  Then he stood on tip-toe and gave the older man a quick peck on the lips before sliding his body through the gap in the door.  Harry was now in the circular room.  He had been here twice before now.  The wall and floor was black and the room was lit with blue-flamed candles.  There were doors all around the room, but when Harry entered the room he didn’t pause for even a second, he knew which door to take and he ran towards it and flung it open._

_He was now running through the long, rectangular room that was full of an odd mechanical clicking, but he paid it no notice.  He streaked past the dancing specks of light on the walls.  He ran until he reached the far end of the room where there stood a door, which flew open as soon as he touched it._

_He was now in a room that he had only ever managed to enter once before, it was a dimly lit room, as high and wide as a church, and was full of nothing but rows and rows of towering shelves, each laden with small, dusty, spun-glass spheres…  He did not pause like he did the last time, he continued running, like he was being drawn to something that he wanted very, very much…  Something that Voldemort wanted…_

_He had started running straight towards row number ninety-seven, turned left and then began to run along it…_ Just a bit further… _Harry thought,_ I’m almost there…  Just a bit further… _But Harry could feel himself waking up…_

He fought with it and tried to keep himself in the dream, but the more Harry fought with it, and acknowledged it, the more and more the dream began to fade…  And before Harry had reached the end of the row, he found himself sitting in an uncomfortable position in one of the chairs in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think of this chapter? What do you think about Snape's conversation with himself? Is Harry driving him insane?? And what do you think of Harry's dream???


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Severus Snape was fifteen James Potter raped him. He never told anyone, believing that he would exact his revenge on Potter. But James Potter is dead now. And so is Lily, the woman that he loved. But they had a son, Harry Potter, who just happens to look just like his Father. So Snape does get his revenge on Potter, just not the right one... Snape rapes Harry Potter, just like James had raped him. But Harry loves Snape, so he wanted him to. So now Snape is confused, feeling extremely guilty and Harry is happy and hopeful, if a bit sore. He told Hermione about it and although she was very angry at first, Harry calmed her down and then reminded her of their deal: Once Harry has confessed Snape, then Hermione must confess to Ron... But Ron overheard their conversation and thought that it meant that HARRY AND HERMIONE ARE DATING!! So now he is extremely jealous, what will happen next??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling.  
> Warning: This chapter contains emotional drama, heartbreak, confusion and dramatic irony

Harry just sat there staring for a few minutes, thinking.  It had been almost a month since he had dreamt about the Department of Mysteries.  The last time, Harry recalled, was the day the Easter Holidays had ended.  Which was… the twenty-seventh of April, and, unless he was mistaken, today was the twenty-sixth of May.  So yes, it had been an entire month since he had dreamt about the Department of Mysteries.  Harry wondered why that was, even though in a way, he knew.  Every night since then the only dreams that he had were always about Snape, and he supposed that this dream was about Snape as well, but Harry had left Snape behind to try to find out what Voldemort was after. 

Was it just a coincidence that the night he had told Snape that he loved him and had sex with him, was the night that this dream had come back?  Maybe now that Harry had told Snape that he loved him, and even had sex with him, it enabled his subconscious to focus on other things now that it had happened in real life.  Yeah, that might be it.  It has to be, after all, how many times in Harry Potter’s life did coincidences just happen without any other cause? 

Harry stood up abruptly and then quickly sat back down, because standing up had caused a jolt of pain to run up his back.  He was still hurting from yesterday… Harry smiled at the memory.  Snape hadn’t exactly been gentle…  Harry stood up again, this time much slower, though he still winced as it still caused him pain.  The book that he had been studying from before he had fallen asleep was on the ground and instead of bending down to pick it up, he squatted, this saved his arse quite a deal of pain.  Then he went over to Hermione who had fallen asleep in the chair across from him with a book under her arm, and he removed the book slowly, trying not to wake her. 

After putting the books down Harry pulled out his wand and cast _Tempus_.  A blue mist came out of the end of Harry’s wand and formed itself into numbers and letters and dots.

_6:37_

_Tuesday_

_26_

_May_

_1996_

Hermione had taught him this spell earlier in the year, and it was very useful as Harry no longer had a watch.  It had been destroyed over a year ago during the second task of the Triwizard Tournament and he hadn’t taken the time to get himself a new one.

It was only 6:37 though!  So early… but Harry knew that there was no way he would be able to get back to sleep so he went back to studying.  He needed to achieve the impossible task of getting an Outstanding in his Potions O.W.L. so that he could stay in Snape’s class, he could use as much studying as he could get.

When Hermione woke up she started studying as well, but a different subject.  They just sat there in concentrated silence, waiting for Ron to wake up so that they could go down to breakfast.  However, when Ron finally did come down to the common room he had a surly look on his face and after giving them both a dirty look he walked right past them and out of common room.  Harry and Hermione looked at each other before they started gathering up their books and papers and head down to breakfast after him. 

They tried to catch up to him but when they called his name he ignored them and when they tried to walk faster, he sped up.  When they got to the Great Hall Ron was already sitting between Seamus and Dean and he refused to look at them when they sat down. 

This continued when they went to charms.  Ron sat as far away from them as he possibly could and refused to look at or talk to them...

When it was time for lunch, Ron was the first one out of the room.  Harry and Hermione gathered up their things and went after him.  When they got to the Great Hall, they walked up to Ron, determined to get some answers.

“Ron,” said Harry “What’s going on with you?  Why’ve you been avoiding me and Hermione?” Under his breath Ron mumbled

“ _You and Hermione…_ ” then he said loud enough for the other two to hear “You want to know why, you really want to know why?!”

“What is it Ron?” asked Hermione quietly “What’s going on?”

“You damn well know what’s going on!” Ron near shouted at them, while he stood up. “I found out about you.  About the both of you.  What you’ve been keeping from me…”

 _Oh no!_ Thought Hermione _What does he know?  Does he know that I like him..?  Does he know that Harry’s gay..?  Those are the only things we’re keeping from him…_

“W-what do you mean Ron..?” Hermione asked, nervously.

“I heard you!” Ron shouted, loud enough for the whole hall to hear. “Last night!  When you were talking, I heard what you said!” Hermione’s insides froze, so he did know…

“D-do you think it’s weird..?” she asked, dreading his answer…  She knew that it would be bad.  It couldn’t be good, not with how he was acting right now…

“Bloody hell Hermione!” Ron yelled “I can’t believe you have to ask that, of course I think it’s weird!”

Hermione felt tears well up in her eyes as her heart shattered to pieces.  Harry couldn’t believe what Ron had just said… He was sure that Ron liked Hermione as well, and even if he didn’t, how could he be so cruel as to reject her in such a harsh way…

However, Ron seemed to be mad at _him_ for some reason as well…  What all had he heard during their conversation?  Wait… had he heard him telling Hermione about him and Snape..?  No… if that was it he would surely have brought it up already…  What else had they said later in the conversation..?  Then Harry remembered himself saying, “ _If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m gay, I’d probably love you, or at the very least be attracted to you.”_ Ron knew that he was gay… 

“What you know about me now, Ron…” Harry said while comforting Hermione who was shaking with silent sobs. “Does this change things between us..?”

“Of course it bloody well changes things!” Ron shouted at him. “I can’t even stand to look at you anymore!” Harry felt like he’d been stabbed through the chest and punched in the gut at the same time.  He knew that if people found out that they wouldn’t be happy about it, but he had thought that maybe… just maybe… his own best friend would be able to ignore bigotries and stay friends with him.  He had thought that Ron was better than this… apparently he had thought wrong.

“…Fine.” Said Harry coldly. “If you really think that… if mine and Hermione’s feelings really piss you off so much then you can sod off and find other friends.  I thought that everything that we’ve been through would have meant more to you than this…  But apparently I was wrong.” Then he quietly whispered in Hermione’s ear “Come on, we’re going.” Then he put his arm around her shoulder and led her out of the Great Hall.

Up at the staff table, Severus, unwilling, felt sorry for the boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of this chapter?? What do you think about Ron's confrontation with Harry and Hermione??? Please leave a comment giving your thoughts and opinions.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Severus Snape was fifteen James Potter raped him. He never told anyone, believing that he would exact his revenge on Potter. But James Potter is dead now. And so is Lily, the woman that he loved. But they had a son, Harry Potter, who just happens to look just like his Father. So Snape does get his revenge on Potter, just not the right one... Snape rapes Harry Potter, just like James had raped him. But Harry loves Snape, so he wanted him to. So now Snape is confused, feeling extremely guilty and Harry is happy and hopeful, if a bit sore. He told Hermione about it and although she was very angry at first, Harry calmed her down and then reminded her of their deal: Once Harry has confessed Snape, then Hermione must confess to Ron... However Ron overheard them and thought that it meant that Harry and Hermione are dating. Then in his jealous anger he blows up at the both of them and now Hermione thinks that Ron rejected her affections and Harry thinks that Ron hates him because he’s gay. What will become of this extreme misunderstanding???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains adult language and talk of shagging

Ron was a bit taken a back and immediately regretted his words.  He was going to take them back and apologize, but then he looked back up and saw Harry’s arm around Hermione.  That’s where _he_ should be.  That was supposed to be _his_ place next to her…  But he had waited too long and now it was too late…  Stupid famous Harry Potter had come in and swept her off her feet, and she had fallen for him.  Like every other girl is this bloody school!  He could have any girl that he wanted, but of course he just had to pick the _one girl_ that _he_ , Ron Weasley, was in love with…  He could have had _anyone_ but he chose the only girl that Ron had ever had any real feelings for…

Ron sat back down between Seamus and Dean and grumbled in frustration. 

“What was that all about?” Seamus asked Ron, both he and Dean (along with most of the other students in the hall) were staring incredulously at him now that Harry and Hermione had left the Great Hall.

“Why don’t you ask the new _couple_.” Said Ron bitterly as he violently gulped down some pumpkin juice, causing him to cough and spill it all down his front.

“Harry and Hermione?” said Dean, a little taken aback “But I thought that Harry was… and that Hermione liked… never mind.”

“Well that’s good for them then, isn’t it?” said Seamus.

“No it bloody well isn’t good!” Ron shouted loud enough for the whole hall to hear.  Seamus and Dean continued to ask him more questions about it but all Ron answered with was more grumbles and violent bites of food. 

However, little did the three boys know, Lavender Brown and Pavarti Patil were sitting quite close to them, and had heard everything.

The two girls gossiped with each other for a bit, giggling and squealing about the couple.  Lavender then told the other fifth year Gryffindor girls and Pavarti went to the Ravenclaw table to tell her sister Padma.  Padma then told all of the fifth year Ravenclaw girls.  And then the fifth year Gryffindor and Ravenclaw girls spread the word to the fourth and sixth years who then told the third and seventh years who told the second and first years.  And all of the Ravenclaws and Gryffindors, who were friends with a Hufflepuff or a Slytherin, told them.  And Seamus told a couple of boys, who proceeded to tell a couple of other boys.  And all of the girls who had a boyfriend or were friends with a boy, told them, and then they proceeded to tell other boys.  And then, by the next morning, everyone in the whole school knew that Harry Potter and Hermione Granger were a thing.  Even the Teachers, who just always seem to know everything about anything that goes on in the school.  Maybe due to the fact that students don’t tend to realize that teachers can hear things in their classes when they are talked about right next to them.

There were a few people who were skeptical.  They didn’t believe the rumours, but everyone else knew about it and believed it, so it had to be true, didn’t it?  Then there were a few people who just didn’t care.  It was their business, wasn’t it?  Who cares who they shag, it’s their life they can do what they want.  But then, there was the large amount of female students who believed it full-heartedly (as women often do when they hear rumours) and absolutely hated it.  _They_ had wanted to be with Harry Potter.  How _dare_ that bland-looking , ugly bitch Hermione Granger steal him from them??  She was nothing special after all.  A run of the mill type.  A nerdy book-worm at most.  Nothing special to look at either.  How dare she think that she was allowed to just come in and steal him!?  That _bitch_!!!  Harry Potter deserved so much better than her!  He deserved _them_.

A couple of these girls broke up with their current boyfriends in an effort to fully go after Harry Potter and save him from the clutches of that ugly girl Granger, who clearly had him under a love potion.  After all, that boy they were dating had been temporary, or a plan B.  But now that Harry Potter was slipping through their fingers into the arms of another woman, they would do anything to get him.  The ones that didn’t break up with their boyfriends, the boys could clearly tell that their girlfriends wanted Harry Potter much more than them.  And these heart-broken and angry boys told other boys who were already fearful as well, that maybe their crush would never like them because they liked Harry Potter. 

Some of these boys were jealous, wishing that they could have the same effect on women that Harry Potter had.  Some were vengeful because their girlfriends had left them to go after him or their girlfriends were not paying them any attention or their crushes had fallen for him.  Some were suspicious that Harry Potter had slipped a love potion to nearly every girl in Hogwarts, causing him to be loved by all, and this was very, very wrong and they wouldn’t put up with such horrible mistreatment of women, but as they had no real proof, they could do nothing.  Whatever the reason these boys had, they all began to hate Harry Potter.  Some of the girls also hated Harry Potter.  They hated him for choosing Hermione Granger over them. 

So by the time the morning came, every student and teacher in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had heard about the rumour and they each had their own personal opinion about it.  And it was all just a large amount of confusion because as you and I know, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger are not dating.  Not at all.  Harry Potter is gay and Hermione Granger is in love with Ronald Weasley, who just so happens to be the cause of all of this confusion and disarray.  So what happens next, though you may be able to guess, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger were not expecting at all…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments please :) what do you think about how the word spread? What do you think about this horrible, confusing misunderstanding?? What do you think will happen next???


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Severus Snape was fifteen James Potter raped him. He never told anyone, believing that he would exact his revenge on Potter. But James Potter is dead now. And so is Lily, the woman that he loved. But they had a son, Harry Potter, who just happens to look just like his Father. So Snape does get his revenge on Potter, just not the right one... Snape rapes Harry Potter, just like James had raped him. But Harry loves Snape, so he wanted him to. So now Snape is confused, feeling extremely guilty and Harry is happy and hopeful, if a bit sore. He told Hermione about it and although she was very angry at first, Harry calmed her down and then reminded her of their deal: Once Harry has confessed Snape, then Hermione must confess to Ron... However Ron overheard them and thought that it meant that Harry and Hermione are dating. Then in his jealous anger he blows up at the both of them and now Hermione thinks that Ron rejected her affections and Harry thinks that Ron hates him because he’s gay. And a couple of gossipy Gryffindor girls heard this blow up and now the entire school “knows” that Harry and Hermione are apparently together, and there are a lot of people who aren't very happy about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains references to wet dreams and sex, descriptions of intense emotions, angst, pain and verging on suicidal (though not quite) thoughts.

Harry woke up that Wednesday morning feeling almost normal.  He’d had another dream about Snape and was feeling quite sticky in his lower regions.  He vanished the feeling like usual and sat up in bed.  That was when it hit him, when he remembered.  He was no longer friends with Ron…  The thought was like a sickening plague eating away at his very heart and soul.  It made his chest ache.  He just couldn’t believe it…  Ron’s last words to him ran through his mind:

_“Of course it bloody well changes things!  I can’t even stand to look at you anymore!”_

Did Ron really find his sexuality so disgusting that he couldn’t even stand to look at him..?  Harry couldn’t help how he felt or who he was attracted to or who he loved…  Harry had thought that all they had went through together would mean something more to Ron than this…

In their first year, Ron had sacrificed himself in a life-sized game of wizarding chess so that Harry could checkmate the King and get through to the end so that he could stop; who he thought was Snape, from stealing the Philosopher’s Stone.  For a second Harry laughed at his younger self.  He would never have guessed back then that Snape would be the first person that he would truly fall in love with.  That he would be the first person that Harry would ever have sex with.  Of course back then, Harry didn’t fully understand what sex was to begin with…

In their second year, they had faced acromantula together and only managed to escape them alive because Ron’s car had shown up.  Later that same year, Ron had gone with Harry down into the Chamber of Secrets to rescue Ginny.  They had gotten separated due to a cave in caused by Gilderoy Lockhart and Ron had shifted all of the rocks for Harry.  While Harry had rescued his little sister from a basilisk and _Voldemort himself_!  Did that mean nothing to Ron..?

That was only the first two years and they had been through a lot more than that in the last three.  Did none of that stuff even mean anything to Ron..?  Everything that they had been through together, for each other.  Yes they had their rough patches, like in fourth year when Ron had been furious at Harry for getting into the Triwizard Tournament.  Which was absolutely ridiculous, but he had come to his senses.  Maybe he would come to his senses this time too…  Maybe…

But this was different…  This was who Harry was.  It was never going to change and if Ron didn’t like it…  No, he should stop thinking about all of this.  Thinking about it wasn’t going to make anything better.  It would just make him feel worse.  So he forced himself to get out of bed, refused to even look at Ron and went to go take a shower.

Hermione hadn’t slept at all that night…  She had stopped crying at some point, she wasn’t quite sure when.  Her sobs had continued but it was like her eyes had lost the ability to form tears.  Eventually, she forced herself to stop sobbing as well and she just stared numbly at the wall.  The girls around her were talking and whispering to each other.  Vaguely, in the part of her mind that still worked, she deduced that they were talking about her.  They kept looking and pointing at her. 

Even though normally, she would have asked them what they were gossiping about, right now she just couldn’t bring herself to care.  She felt numb, lifeless.  She almost felt like she wanted to die, but she didn’t.  For some reason she didn’t want to die.  Not really.  She felt like she _should_ want to die though.  She felt like she should be feeling like that.  But for some reason she just didn’t.  She didn’t feel like dying or killing herself, but she felt like she should feel like that and should want to kill herself.  But the feelings just weren’t there.  How strange…  But such a thing really wasn’t worth thinking about.  Nothing was really.  However contrary to that, somewhere deep in her numb mind she still continued to form thoughts. 

Somewhere in the back, behind all of the numb, fuzziness that seemed to have clouded her brain.  Somewhere far away, where everything all seemed to make sense.  Somewhere in her brain that seemed to be able to think clearly, even though she felt like that should be impossible.  In that little place far, far away in the back of her brain, she somehow still continued to think and form thoughts.  Thoughts that came without emotions or feelings, because all of those things seemed to have shut down.  Maybe they overloaded and now just didn’t work anymore.  Because she felt like she should be feeling great grief and sadness, like she had only a few hours ago, but she didn’t.  She just felt numb.

Numb and lifeless.  She wouldn’t be surprised if her skin was cold to the touch.  Was she already dead maybe?  However, as she stared at the wall, she felt the sudden urge to blink and then to breathe.  She was still alive.  She didn’t feel like it though.  Not even in the slightest.  But inevitably, she was.  Afterall, words can’t kill you.  Well technically they can.  Spells, you know.  But words and rejection can’t kill you.  Not even… and then against her will, Ron’s words ran through her mind.

_“Bloody hell Hermione!  I can’t believe you have to ask that, of course I think it’s weird!”_

Those words were like a piercing knife through her heart and mind.  And then, the fuzzy numb feeling seemed to disappear.  She was almost glad for it but then a sudden barrage of emotions came flooding into her.  And her dry eyes, which she had thought could cry no more, welled up with tears again and she cried softly into her pillow.  So as not to wake the other girls who were now sleeping quite peacefully.

The emotions, this feeling, it was too much…  She wanted the numbness back…  At least it didn’t hurt like this…  At least she could think clearly somewhere in her brain while it was there…  At least she didn’t have to feel…  She never wanted to feel again…  She wanted to die – but no.  She still didn’t want to die.  These feelings, they were so intense and horrible, she felt like she _was_ dying.  She just wanted it to stop.  Wanted it all to end, that much was true.  But for some reason she _still_ didn’t want to die…  How strange…  And slowly, the crying stopped and the numbness came back and the cycle started all over again…

This continued for the entire night.

When morning came and the other girls started to wake up, Hermione was in the numbness stage.  In the part of her brain that could think clearly, she decided that she didn’t want to be there when they woke up.  The other Gryffindor girls were annoying.  That’s why she wasn’t friends with any of them.  So she numbly got up and went to the bathroom.  She took a shower and stood numbly in the water for a couple seconds before remembering that she was supposed to be doing something. 

After her shower, she performed a drying charm and then numbly brushed her hair and got dressed before numbly walking into the dormitory and then out of it.  She walked into the common room to find Harry already sitting and studying.  When she came in he looked up and grimaced, he was upset as well.  After all, he had just lost his best friend.

Hermione put on a fake smile, which Harry didn’t buy for one second.  He put his books and papers aside, stood up and hugged Hermione.  She buried her face in his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist.  Ron had hurt both of them, not just her…  Harry closed his eyes and simultaneously rubbed her back and ran his hand over her hair.  They didn’t know how long they stood like that for, just comforting each other.  They were all they had now.  Ron didn’t want anything to do with either of them anymore. 

They didn’t even notice when people started coming down to the common room.  None of them stayed long.  They just snickered or gave hateful stares, or both.  The ones that were doubtful took this as confirmation of the rumour.  They didn’t even notice when Ron came down, clenched his fists at the sight of them and then stomped out of the common room.

When they broke away from their embrace, it appeared to them that nothing had changed.  The common room was still empty.  As neither of them were really in the mood to eat anything, they both sat down and started studying.  Hermione found, that like always, studying comforted her.  It made her feel sane and normal and completely unconnected to her life.  It took her mind off of things and it actually managed to cheer her up.  Sort of.  She wasn’t happy, but she wasn’t numb or depressed or miserable either.  She was focused.  Absorbing knowledge like a sponge.  Studying and books had always helped her.  Even when she was little and picked on for her hair and teeth and fondness of books and the strange things that would always happen around her.  Books were a comfort to her.  It led to more teasing from her classmates, but she didn’t care.  Books had always helped her through the hardest times in her life, and this was without a doubt one of them.  But books were still there for her.  And so was Harry.  And for a second, just one second, a thought went through her mind that she never expected to think again.

_I’m going to be okay._

She only thought this for a second though, and then it was gone.  She concentrated on her History of Magic notes, trying to make sure that she would remember everything when they were no longer in front of her.  Then Harry tapped her on the shoulder and showed her the time, it was almost time for class.  So they got up and started walking.  They split up after a bit because Harry had Divination while Hermione had Arithmancy.  They said goodbye and then headed to their designated classes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hoped that you like this chapter. I was a little unsure of it, but it's an important one... And the way Hermione's emotions are acting is based on my own personal experience when my boyfriend of nearly a year broke up with me. The back and forth of numbness and pain and the somehow emotionless thoughts somewhere in the back of your mind that continue to think clearly even though you feel completely disconnected from everything. And the nostalgia that you still want to keep on living even though living hurts more than anything at that moment...
> 
> Anyway please give kudos and comment to tell me what you think of this chapter and my story in general. Thanks :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Severus Snape was fifteen James Potter raped him. He never told anyone, believing that he would exact his revenge on Potter. But James Potter is dead now. And so is Lily, the woman that he loved. But they had a son, Harry Potter, who just happens to look just like his Father. So Snape does get his revenge on Potter, just not the right one... Snape rapes Harry Potter, just like James had raped him. But Harry loves Snape, so he wanted him to. So now Snape is confused, feeling extremely guilty and Harry is happy and hopeful, if a bit sore. He told Hermione about it and although she was very angry at first, Harry calmed her down and then reminded her of their deal: Once Harry has confessed Snape, then Hermione must confess to Ron... However Ron overheard them and thought that it meant that Harry and Hermione are dating. Then in his jealous anger he blows up at the both of them and now Hermione thinks that Ron rejected her affections and Harry thinks that Ron hates him because he’s gay. And a couple of gossipy Gryffindor girls heard this blow up and now the entire school “knows” that Harry and Hermione are apparently together, and there are a lot of people who aren't very happy about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains references to sex and petty teenage hatred over rumors.

Though in different classes, both Harry and Hermione had practically the same experiences.  When they walked into class some people started whispering to each other while others stopped the second they saw them.  Harry thought nothing of this at first.  He was used to people talking about him behind his back.  And right in front of him.  He didn’t really care anymore.  He went to lie down in his usual spot in the fake enchanted forest (Ron was already laying somewhere else, but he refused to look at him to see where or with whom).

Hermione, on the other hand found the whispering a bit strange.  She was then reminded of the Gryffindor girls in the dormitory last night.  What was going on?  Hermione took her usual seat at the front of the class and waited for Professor Vector to start teaching. 

However, the whispers continued.  Even though Hermione was trying to pay attention to the lesson, she couldn’t help her curiosity as she leaned over a bit in order to better to hear a small group of Ravenclaw girls beside her better.

“…really?” she heard one of them say “I didn’t even know she liked him… Thought it was the other one…”

“That is enough!” said Professor Vector sharply and all of the whispering ceased.  “Save your whispering for your next class, while in mine I expect you to pay attention.  Is that understood?” All of the students nodded. “Very well then, now we shall get back to learning.” And she gave a small smile as she continued on with her lesson.

Even though the whispering had stopped, Hermione struggled to pay attention even more now.  Did everyone know about this..?  Did everyone now know that she liked Ron and that he had rejected her..?  Was Ron really so low as to tell people?  Or did they over hear and came to the right conclusion?

Meanwhile in divination, things didn’t happen much differently for Harry.  He tried to pay attention to Firenze, but for one thing he never really got the whole “planets predict the future thing” and for another, the whispering was really starting to get on his nerves.  It was more than usual and he could feel people’s eyes on him.  He raised his head a bit and nearly all of the guys in the class were giving him death glares.  Some of the girls were as well, but most of them were just staring at him.  What was going on?

Harry perked his ears up a bit to try and hear what some of what the whisperers were saying.  He could almost hear them, he shifted over a bit to the ones that he could hear the best and he heard a boy say

“…I thought that Harry Potter was supposed to be… not like that…”

“Well that’s what I heard.” Said another boy “believe it or don’t, but that Potter kid has issues…”

What were they talking about..? “not like that”, what was “that”?  The second boy had heard something…  A rumour about him…  What could it possibly – then it hit him.  Ron knew that he was gay.  And he hated it.  Did he tell people??  Harry just couldn’t believe it…  He didn’t think that Ron would really sink so low…  How could he have done that to him..?

Is that what all of these people were whispering about..?  That the great Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived was a Poof??  How could Ron have just outed him like that..?  Regardless of his feelings towards him now, be they disgust or even hatred, had 5 years of friendship really meant absolutely nothing to him..?!

Harry was hurt and extremely embarrassed.  His face was now as red as a beat and he could feel tears stinging his eyes, he blinked them away.  He wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.  He was gay.  It was who he was.  And now everyone knew it…  But he wouldn’t let that get to him.  People had spread tons of rumours about him before.  Harry thought back to the previous two years.  In his fourth year, Rita Skeeter had written horrible articles about him, making him out to be a mentally disturbed attention-seeking child.  And this past year, even more rumours had been spread about him because he was saying that Voldemort was back.  Most people just built on the foundations that Rita Skeeter had laid down for his public image, making him out to be insane and attention seeking and even a possible war-monger. 

However, this time was different.  This time the rumours were true…  He was gay, and now everyone knew it…

After their classes were over Harry and Hermione met up again in front of the Transfiguration classroom during their break and told each other what happened.  They were both furious at Ron that he would really tell people personal secrets about them.  Even though they weren’t friends anymore, they hadn’t expected this…

The day seemed to go by very slowly and surreally.  It almost seemed like everything was a dream, everything just _couldn’t_ be real.  It just couldn’t.  Ron was no longer friends with either of them.  He hated them.  The entire school knew their deepest darkest secrets, and everywhere they went people gave them dirty looks and glares and whispered behind their hands to each other.  Occasionally they could hear the odd “I just can’t believe it!” or “I hate them both!”

The feeling that the two of them felt was like a mixture of panic, shame and embarrassment.  And a deep dislike for their ex-best friend.  Because no matter what Ron did to them, they just couldn’t bring themselves to hate him…  Especially not Hermione.

They used every opportunity they had to study.  At lunch, during classes when they had finished their work, at dinner, after dinner in the library and then when they moved to the Gryffindor common room to get away from the whisperers who seemed to only be in the library to stare at them.  They studied and studied in an effort to keep their minds busy.  They had even found a way to study while simultaneously doing homework.

In fact, they had kept their minds so busy and concentrated on studying that Harry had forgotten something very important.  Then at around 8, Hermione said

“Harry, I’m sorry but could you tell me what classes we have tomorrow?  I can’t remember for the life of me.”

So Harry checked his schedule and his eyes were immediately drawn to one class in particular.  They had Potion’s tomorrow.  And that meant that he would have to see Severus Snape again, up close for the first time since they had had sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and tell me what you think of my story and where you would like it to go. And what do you think the whisperers actually meant by what they said??


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 22 years ago James Potter raped Severus Snape. Just a few days ago, Snape raped James’ son Harry in revenge. However, Harry is in love with Snape. Snape is now confused and feeling very guilty for doing what was once done to him while Harry is hoping that maybe something more could come of that encounter. Harry told Hermione about it and although she was angry at first, he calmed her by telling her that he would ensure that this was the only time Snape had done this and by reminding her that she must tell Ron Weasley about her feelings for him. Ron overheard this conversation and came to the assumptions that his friends were dating and in a jealous rage blew up at the two of them. Hermione assumed that this was a rejection of her affections and Harry that Ron hated him for being gay. This was overheard by some gossipy Gryffindor girls and now all of Hogwarts believes that they are a couple and are not happy about it. However, Harry has just discovered that he has Potions class tomorrow and will have to be in close proximity to Snape for the first time since they had sex. What will he do??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains adult language, references to sex, alcohol abuse, servant abuse, teenage stupidity, jokes at the expense of another and heartbreak.

Severus Snape had never been the type to be afraid of confrontation.  Especially in his adult years.  After all, having worked for two manipulative masterminds over the last two decades, one of which was completely insane, he couldn’t be.  He wasn’t even afraid when about a year earlier, he had gone to meet with Voldemort on Albus’ orders, even though he had not acted faithful to him in the slightest after his downfall.  He had been brutally tortured, yes.  But he had not been afraid.

Yet now, he was.  He was very afraid.  And it was of confrontation with a fifteen year old boy.  Not just any fifteen year old boy though, it was Harry Potter.

Couldn’t he just kick the boy out of his class??  The new Headmistress would be all for it.  However, Minerva would be against it and would probably try to jinx him for even suggesting it.  She had gone rambling on and on in the staff room about how Harry Potter wants to be an Auror and how Umbridge was horrible for suggesting that he didn’t have the qualifications or dedication.  And Severus would rather not have to speak with that old toad.  Or do something that she would like of his own free will.

He could call in sick.  And have some idiot run his classroom and let those dunderheads destroy it!?  That was not an option.

He could just not show up.  Again, the dunderheads would destroy his precious dungeons.  Without anyone even  _trying_  to stop them.

So what could he do??  Snape poured himself another glass of Brandy and drank deeply before slamming it down onto his desk.  Snape looked at his clock, an ornate piece, decorated with a serpent and the colours of Slytherin, and saw that it was four-thirty in the morning.  He had not slept at all that night, dreading his first class the next day…  Or, that day, now.  It was four thirty in the morning, there were only a few hours left.

Suddenly Severus couldn’t help his mind from wandering to what he had heard in his potions class earlier that day…  He had heard that supposedly Potter and the Granger girl were dating.  He knew that it was ridiculous of course.  He would have to be a fool not to notice the way that Granger looked at Weasley, and for all intents and purposes Potter seemed to be gay and obsessed over him.  However, despite this knowledge when Severus heard that, he had felt angry.  A burning rage that had led to him yelling at the two third year Hufflepuff girls and taking off 25 points each for talking.

_Maybe you’re jealous…_  The annoying voice in his head said.  Of course he wasn’t jealous!  Even if Potter and Granger were together, that absolutely would  _not_  make him jealous.

_Then why did you get so angry Severus?_  The voice in his head said sarcastically.  _Could it be that those pretty green eyes are getting to you?_  Severus tried his best to ignore the voice, but it just kept persisting in its constant annoyance until- 

“DAMN IT!!!” Severus yelled as he threw his empty glass, followed by the whole Brandy bottle at the wall.  The brief moment of adrenaline relief was followed by regret.  They both shattered and the bottle splashed Brandy all over the wall and floor.  Severus pulled out his wand and fixed the glass pieces so that they formed a bottle and a glass, once more; however there was nothing he could do about the Brandy.

“What a waste…” said Severus grumpily as he vanished it.  Then he walked over to his alcohol cupboard and pulled out another bottle, this time of Firewhiskey.

“This ought to wake me up…” said Severus as he then proceeded to chug it straight from the bottle.  It did indeed wake him up.  The pleasant burning sensation shot straight into his stomach and caused his entire body to ignite with energy and power.  He knew of course that it wasn’t real, just alcohol and magic combined to create this absolutely wonderful drink, but it was pretty damn amazing. 

Severus then spent the rest of the early morning drinking.  When he drank too much of the other alcohol and he felt like he was going to pass out, he took a shot of Firewhiskey which woke him right up and enabled him to drink more.  Soon enough, he had completely forgotten about his coming confrontation with one Harry Potter…

*

The next morning, Harry Potter woke up and got ready much faster than he usually would have.  He wasn’t sure if it was out of fear, nervousness, joy or just pure excitement.  Most likely a combination of the four.  He didn’t know if he really wanted to see Snape or if he really didn’t.  He decided it was both. 

After he had gotten ready, he decided to just go and study in the common room and wait there for Hermione.  About half an hour later, Hermione came down the stairs from the girl’s dormitory and joined Harry in studying.  Until of course when other people started showing up, then the two of them left and started walking to find a private place, which as the time passed and they continued to walk, was becoming harder and harder to do. 

They tested and quizzed each other as they walked, to ensure that they continued studying even as they walked.  Somehow at some point the conversation turned away from homework and they started talking about their next class, which was Potions.  In particularly, they were talking about Severus Snape.

“Don’t be so nervous, Harry.” Said Hermione comfortingly “It’s just one class, you’ll get through it.”

“I know that Hermione,” Harry said, “but this will be the first time I’ve seen him up close since you-know-what…  I mean, I’ve seen him in the Great Hall, even caught his eye a couple times before he turned away.  But this is different!  We’re going to be so close to each other.  I don’t know how to act around him anymore.”

“Just try your best to act normal.” Hermione suggested “Try to act like he’s just any other teacher.”

“But he  _isn’t_  just any other teacher!”

“I know that.” Said Hermione calmly “But just try to act like he is.  Just don’t pay him any notice unless you have to.  If he’s addressing the class, look at the board or whatever is directly behind him.  Focus on your work, not him.  If he addresses you, talk to him politely like you would to any other teacher.  Pretend that he’s… Professor Flitwick.” Harry laughed

“Professor Flitwick?”

“Well we don’t exactly have many male teachers here.” Said Hermione, slightly ruffled.

“Yes, but really Hermione, pretend that he’s Professor Flitwick?” said Harry.  Hermione laughed, for the first time in days, she laughed.  Harry, being inspired by this, decided that he wanted to make her laugh more. “I mean, can you imagine if Snape was as small as Professor Flitwick?  He’d be a little midget Snape.  With a squeaky little voice, barking orders that no one would take seriously.  Because he’s so short, he’s not intimidating anymore.  In fact, he’s absolutely adorable.”  Hermione couldn’t control her laughter and after a couple of minutes she had to hold her chest and stomach as they hurt from laughing so much.  When Hermione had finally finished laughing Harry said with a small smile

“You should laugh more often.” Hermione blushed.

“I know.” She said as her smile faded.  Harry frowned.  Then he stepped in front of her face to face and grabbed her shoulders.  He looked her straight in the eyes and said

“Don’t let him ruin your life.  He isn’t worth it Hermione.  You deserve so much better.” Her eyes welled up with tears as she hugged him around his neck.  He wrapped his arms around her comfortingly. “That bastard really isn’t worth it Hermione.  So what if he rejected you?  He doesn’t even come close to deserving someone as amazing as you to like him at all.  You’re far too good for him.”

The two of them stood like that until it was time for them to go to class.  Hermione wiped her eyes and with Harry’s arm around Hermione’s shoulders they made their way to the dungeons.  When they got to class, they completely ignored Ron, who was sitting with Dean and Seamus once more.  They didn’t allow their eyes to wander anywhere near him. 

They sat down at their usual table.  They could hear the whispers coming from everywhere.  They really didn’t care anymore.  Though after they had been sitting there for quite a while it was really starting to get on Harry’s nerves.  He wanted to just stand up and yell at them all “Yes, I am gay!  And Hermione likes and was rejected by Ronald Weasley!  Now get over yourselves and try actually living your own lives for a change!”  But he didn’t.  He just continued to sit there, enduring it.

After a couple more minutes Harry realized that Snape should be here by now.  He cast a whispered  _Tempus  _under his desk and tapped Hermione on the shoulder so that she would look.  Snape was almost twenty minutes late.  What was going on here?  Snape was never late.  Ever.  Harry was starting to get worried as a couple more minutes passed.

Then, all of a sudden it seemed as though a small child had come running into the classroom.  It wasn’t a child though, it was a house elf.  The elf stopped running, turned around to look through the door it came through and then with a  _crack_  it vanished.  Then a second after the elf vanished, a glass went flying through the air exactly where the elf’s head had been a second previously, and then shattered on the wall at the other end of the room.  Then, through the same door the elf had just come through emerged a great black thing wearing a black cloak. 

The class was in an uproar over what had just happened and they were all staring at the thing, some of them had stood up, preparing to run for it, if it attacked.  Harry stared at the creature.  Then, a sound emerged from it.  An extremely slurred voice.

“Shut up, will you?!  You’re all too damn loud!!”

“Professor Snape?!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do YOU think will happen next??? Leave a comment bellow!!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 22 years ago James Potter raped Severus Snape. Just a few days ago, Snape raped James’ son Harry in revenge. However, Harry is in love with Snape. Snape is now confused and feeling very guilty for doing what was once done to him while Harry is hoping that maybe something more could come of that encounter. Harry told Hermione about it and although she was angry at first, he calmed her by telling her that he would ensure that this was the only time Snape had done this and by reminding her that she must tell Ron Weasley about her feelings for him. Ron overheard this conversation and came to the assumptions that his friends were dating and in a jealous rage blew up at the two of them. Hermione assumed that this was a rejection of her affections and Harry that Ron hated him for being gay. This was overheard by some gossipy Gryffindor girls and now all of Hogwarts believes that they are a couple and are not happy about it. However, Harry is now in Potions class and Snape has just shown up drunk out of his mind! What will happen next??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains drunkenness, references to alcohol and drinking, hangover symptoms, a very sexual scene, no sex in this chapter, but it is very sexual. If you would like to skip this part then when you get to the “**” skip until you reach the “***”.

“Professor Snape?!”  Harry exclaimed in disbelief.  It had sounded like him, an extremely drunk and hungover version of him, but it was his voice.  His cloak was disheveled and his hair was an absolute disaster, he could barely see his face.  What little of it he could see was much paler than usual, his skin was more sallow. 

As he walked to the front of the class the hair in front of his eyes shifted and Harry could see that his eyes were sunken and there were great dark bags underneath them.  He didn’t look like he’d slept at all last night; he must have stayed up drinking.  But whatever could have given him the inclination to do such a thing??  Then it hit him.

“Hermione,” said Harry under his breath, “I think this is my fault.”

“W-what do you mean it’s your fault Harry..?”

“I don’t think I was the only one who was nervous about this class…” Hermione put her hand over her mouth and gasped in shock.

“… Even if that is the case Harry that doesn’t make it your fault.  You didn’t force him to drink.”

“No,” said Harry, “But if I had alcohol I’d probably be in the same state as him.” Then he paused for a second and said “I’m going to help him.”

“… I don’t know Harry,” she said “He seems… dangerous.”

“I’ll be fine.” Said Harry with a smile. “After all, a drunken Snape can’t be worse than Voldemort, can he?”  Then he stood up and started walking towards Snape who had started writing something illegible on the board.

“Professor, are you alright?” Harry said to his drunken teacher.  Then Snape whipped around, to face him.  Harry’s heart felt like it stopped for a moment.  The last time he had been this close to Snape was…  but now was not the time to be thinking about that!  So despite his quickened heartbeat, he tried to keep his mind out of the gutter. 

“I!  I am perrrrfectly fine… Potter…  Potter, why are you here?”

“I’m in your class, Sir.” Then Snape gave him this odd piercing look.  Harry couldn’t stand to look into his beautiful onyx coloured eyes so he looked down as he felt his face grow hot.  Then, in a surprisingly sober sounding voice Snape shouted

“Come with me, Potter!  To my Chambers!  Now!” Then Snape grabbed his arm and started leading him out of the class.

Harry’s face was as red as a Weasley’s hair, _No, don’t think about Ron!_ As Snape dragged him deeper into the dungeons than he had ever been before.  Then they reached a door with a painting of an old man on it dressed all in green

“Severus!” it said in a cheerful voice “I told that house elf that you shouldn’t be working like this!  But, oh my…  Severus, why have you brought Harry Potter with you?”

“Nnnnnnone of your busssssssinesss, Phhhhhhhilip!” The painting looked towards Harry, so he said

“It’s all right, really.  I’m just helping him.” The painting named Philip gave him a suspicious look, but then proceeded to open the door for them.

Snape continued to drag Harry into his Chambers, which, surprisingly to Harry, were actually quite nice.  They were decorated in mostly black and silver with just the slight sprinkling of a dark green in places.  It was all really quite elegant and it almost seemed like the room was an extension of Snape himself, the way the black curtains fell in the exact way that Snape’s robes did.  The room gave off a slightly eerie and yet, to Harry, a somehow comfortable atmosphere. 

Snape had managed to drag Harry into his bedroom while he was busy admiring the decorations.  Then his vise-like grip on Harry’s arm disappeared and Harry was pushed backwards onto Snape’s bed.  Then, before Harry could react, Snape was on top of him.

**

“S-Sir, what are you– ?” He was cut off by Snape’s lips being pressed, almost violently, against his.  His mouth, tasted and smelt like stale liquor and his lips were chapped, but that didn’t stop the moan that Harry let out and the hardness that was growing between his legs.  Harry then turned his head to the side, away from Snape’s mouth and said

“N-no…  Professor, you aren’t in a proper state of mind…  This isn’t right.”

“I don’t care.” Snape said in a deep masculine voice.  Why did this have to be so hard..?

“… You will when you’re sober.  We can’t do this, not while you’re like this.”

“Don’t you want me to Potter?” Snape said as he began to run his hand down Harry’s chest, over his left nipple and down to his stomach before Harry found it in himself to stop him.

“Merlin… of course I want you to… but I don’t know if _you_ really want to.  I can’t let you do this.”

“You said,” said Snape as he started running his hands along Harry’s body again “That if I decided that I wanted to do this, then you would be more than happy to.” Harry couldn’t hold in his moans as Snape’s hands travelled underneath his clothing, his hands caressing the soft skin of his stomach and chest. “Well, I’ve decided.”

“… Yes…” said Harry, between moans that he just couldn’t help “I know… that I said that… but you’re drunk!  You can’t… decide… _anything_ … right now…  So stop!  Before you do something that you’ll regret!” Harry’s words did nothing to stop Snape’s hand as they crept lower and lower down his body, and he just couldn’t bring himself to stop them.  It just felt so _good_ to have Snape touching him like this…  Caressing him…

“I know what I want.” Said Snape in a voice that made his erection twitch “I won’t regret anything.” Then Snape’s hands found his pants and pulled them down to reveal Harry’s erection.  Then he pulled out his own and began to rub it against Harry’s.

That was it.  His last ounce of will broke and he gave into Snape.  The hard friction between their erections felt so amazing…  Harry just couldn’t fight it anymore.  Even though Harry knew that he would regret it and that Snape would too, he said

“… Okay…” Snape smiled a triumphant smile as he began kissing Harry again with more enthusiasm than before.  When Snape’s tongue began to penetrate through Harry’s lips, he didn’t put up a fight.  His tongue tasted even more like stale alcohol than his lips, but at the moment Harry didn’t care.  At the moment the only thing that mattered was Snape.  Snape, who was on top of him, Snape who was rubbing his body and erection up against Harry’s, Snape whose hands were once again beginning to roam.

Harry moaned into Snape’s mouth and he shut his eyes as all other thoughts and the rest of the world faded away and all that existed was him and Snape and this beautiful, wonderful feeling that was being created with their bodies.

Then Snape’s mouth left Harry’s and began to travel down his jaw line to his neck.

“I want this so badly…” he said, in a voice that was half husky and half needy.  It made Harry feel so good to hear him say that.  For Snape to want this.  Even if he didn’t want him, to want this feeling between them, even if he only wanted it because he was drunk.

***

“I want this…” he said again into Harry’s neck “I want to feel – ”

But precisely what Snape wanted to feel, Harry never found out as the contact disappeared and Harry opened his eyes to find Snape vomiting over the side of the bed.  Then he collapsed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a way for that to end! Snape throwing up in the middle of their sexy-time... what do YOU think will happen next??? Leave a comment bellow to give your theories or anything else you want to say!


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 22 years ago James Potter raped Severus Snape. Just a few days ago, Snape raped James’ son Harry in revenge. However, Harry is in love with Snape. Snape is now confused and feeling very guilty for doing what was once done to him while Harry is hoping that maybe something more could come of that encounter. Harry told Hermione about it and although she was angry at first, he calmed her by telling her that he would ensure that this was the only time Snape had done this and by reminding her that she must tell Ron Weasley about her feelings for him. Ron overheard this conversation and came to the assumptions that his friends were dating and in a jealous rage blew up at the two of them. Hermione assumed that this was a rejection of her affections and Harry that Ron hated him for being gay. This was overheard by some gossipy Gryffindor girls and now all of Hogwarts believes that they are a couple and are not happy about it. However, after showing up drunk to his lesson, Professor Snape takes Harry to his Chambers and the two of them start getting… sexual, until Snape vomits and then passes out!! What will happen next??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains alcohol abuse, panic, alcohol poisoning, self-blaming and insulting someone's beliefs.

Harry’s brief moment of shock was replaced by panic.  He quickly pulled up his pants, pulled out his wand, vanished the vomit and then put his hands on Snape’s shoulders and tried to shake him awake.

“Snape!” he said frantically “Snape!  Wake up!  Please don’t be dead…” Then he put his ear over the man’s mouth.  He was breathing.  _Thank Merlin!!_ He tried to shake him again, but when he stopped, he realized that Snape was still shaking, even without Harry even touching him.  He was twitching.  Harry looked away from Snape for a moment and saw at least two dozen empty alcohol bottles and not the small kind either. 

Harry didn’t think that it was possible for a human being to drink that much alcohol!  Using a strength that he was unaware that he possessed, Harry threw the seizing, unconscious man over his shoulder and walked as quickly as he could out of Snape’s Chambers.

“I thought you said that you were going to help him!” called Philip the painting from behind him as he quickly walked to the Potions classroom, towards the only person that he could think of that would help him right now; Hermione. 

_It’s been more than twenty minutes already!_ Thought Hermione as she used _Tempus_ for the fifth time since Harry and Professor Snape had left. _What’s going on!_   Hermione was just considering the pros and cons of going to find them when those very people burst through the classroom door.  Harry had Snape thrown over his shoulder, which Hermione wondered how it was possible as Snape was much bigger than Harry was.  Then Harry shouted, panic clear in his voice and eyes

“Hermione, he’s really sick!  I need your help!” Hermione immediately leapt to her feet and followed Harry back out of the classroom.

“What happened?!” Hermione demanded.

“Snape, he drank… _way_ too much.  He vomited and fainted and had a seizure and he’s really, really sick Hermione, what should I do??”  Hermione had never seen Harry so desperate before.  She had seen him cry plenty of times; she had even walked in on him while he was in the middle of a nightmare once or twice, not that she ever told him.  But never before had she ever seen him so desperate and scared. 

“We need to take him to the Hospital wing Harry.” Hermione said calmly. “Madam Pomfrey will know what to do.”

“Okay.” Said Harry as he calmed down remarkably.  Then the two of them working together used the levitating charm on Snape and took him to the Hospital Wing.

“What has happened here!?” Madam Pomfrey exclaimed when they entered the Hospital Wing.

“It’s Professor Snape!” Harry said; the panic clear in his voice “He drank last night, a lot.  There had to have been at least two dozen empty alcohol bottles!  He vomited and fainted and I think he had a seizure and is he going to be okay???”  Madam Pomfrey gave him an odd look before directing them to lay Snape on one of the hospital beds.  Harry couldn’t think straight.  His head was pounding and his heart was beating a mile a minute.  He didn’t know what to do.  All he knew as that Snape had to be okay, he just _had_ to.  Harry didn’t think that he would be able to go on living properly if Snape died…  He needed him to live…  He loved him… 

Madam Pomfrey then pulled out her wand and moved it up and down his body.  The tip of the wand then began to flash different colours, Madam Pomfrey must have understood them because then she straightened up and said

“He will be fine.” Harry let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he had been holding. “He simply has a rather bad case of alcohol poisoning.  It is good that you brought him to me when you did.  Left unattended this would have killed him.” Then without another word she left and came back a few seconds later with four different potions floating behind her.  The first one she spelled straight into his stomach, then the rest of them she poured into his mouth.  What little colour that Snape had, began to come back into his skin and the dark circles under his eyes all but disappeared.  Overall he looked much, much healthier than he had before.

“He just needs rest now,” Madam Pomfrey said “So I suggest that the two of you head back to class.” Hermione nodded immediately but she had to drag Harry away as he just kept staring at the Professor’s face.

Hermione kept dragging Harry through the corridors as he was still looking behind them at the Hospital Wing.  Eventually, she got fed up with this and stopped abruptly, saying

“Harry, what are you do–”

“It’s my fault Hermione.” Harry interrupted her, tears glistening in his eyes “Snape almost died and it’s all my fault.” Hermione relaxed and a warm look appeared in her eyes.

“It’s not your fault Harry.  How could you have known that he would do that?  It was his own choice to drink so much.  It is definitely NOT YOUR FAULT!” Harry was about to argue back when they heard a dreamy voice say

“Oh, hello.”

“Hello Luna.” Said Hermione coldly.  She had never liked the girl; she was just too… she just couldn’t find a word for her.  And that was exactly why she didn’t like her.  She was too different.  Too illogical.  Too strange.  Too unnerving.  That dreamy stare of hers… it was like she wasn’t all there.  Then there were those imaginary creatures that she goes on about.  It’s just absolutely ludicrous! 

“Hi Luna.” Said Harry with a smile. “What are you doing in this part of the castle?  Don’t you have class right now?”

“Oh yes, I do.” She replied, looking at the ceiling “But I had to go to the bathroom and I only use the one by the Hospital Wing.”

“Why?” asked Harry.

“Because all the rest of the girl’s bathrooms are always filled with wrackspurts.” The blond replied seriously “They’re attracted to gossip, you see.  The sterilization spells and potions that come from the Hospital Wing clear them out.”

“That is the silliest thing that I have ever heard!” Hermione exclaimed “You are wasting your time walking around the castle not in class because you are trying to avoid invisible made-up creatures?!  That’s absolutely ridiculous!” Luna’s dreamy eyes suddenly narrowed and were now looking directly at Hermione

“You are very close-minded Hermione Granger.  You do not believe in what you cannot see, which I find rather odd indeed as you are a muggleborn.  You once could not see the Wizarding World; it was hidden from your eyes, but that did not mean that it did not exist.  Simply that it was hidden.”

“That’s completely different!” Hermione said defensively.

“How so?” Luna asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Magic and Wizards are real!” Hermione said exasperatedly, feeling as though she was explaining this to a small child. “There is proof!  There is absolutely no proof of _wrackspurts_ and _nargles_ and _crumple beaked Snorlacks_!  There is no proof!  No one has ever seen them!” Luna waited patiently for Hermione to finish her spiel, her head still turned to the side.  Then she said

“They are called Crumple-Horned Snorkacks.” Then she paused for a moment as if to make sure they understood what she had said, and then she continued “Hermione Granger, the only reason why you have proof of Wizards and Witches is because you are one.  Muggles don’t have any proof that we exist.  They have never seen us, yet we exist.  So shouldn’t we assume that these creatures have proof that they exist that they simply don’t wish to share with us?” Hermione looked a little taken aback but then she said

“If they did exist then there must be some record.  Anything, to say that they exist or even something that they do to influence the world.  There must be something!”

“There are records.” said Luna “However, the Wizarding World chooses to state that all of the people who say they have seen them are simply insane, so their books are often either not published or regarded as fictional.  It’s sad really.  And they do influence the world.  For instance; wrackspurts.  They float through people’s ears and make their brains go fuzzy so that it is difficult to think clearly.  There is a rather large infestation in Hogwarts right now as they are attracted to gossip.” Harry, who had been staying quiet through the women’s battle of minds, spoke up suddenly.

“So… have you heard this gossip?” he asked.  She must have been talking about the gossip about them…

Luna suddenly turned to look at him, first she looked into his eyes and then her gaze seemed to stray off somewhere, as if she was looking through him.

“Yes I have Harry Potter, but they are not saying what you think.” Both Harry and Hermione’s eyes widened with shock.

“What are they saying then?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your wonderful comments in the last chapter :) they inspired me to write a little faster, so I'm updating earlier than usual. What do you think of how I portrayed Luna? And what do you think will happen next??? Please leave a comment below giving your thoughts!!


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 22 years ago James Potter raped Severus Snape. Just a few days ago Snape raped James’ son Harry in revenge. However Harry is in love with Snape, who is now confused and feeling very guilty for doing what was once done to him while Harry is hoping that maybe something more could come of that encounter. Harry told Hermione about it and although she was angry at first he calmed her by teling her that he would ensure that this was the only time Snape had done this and by reminding her that she must tell Ron Weasley about her feelings for him. Ron overheard this conversation and came to the assumption that his friends were dating and in a jealous rage blew up at the two of them. Hermione assumed that this was a rejection of her affections and Harry that Ron hated him for being gay. This was overheard by some gosipy Gryfindor girls and now all of Hogwarts believes that they are a couple and are not happy about it. Just earlier Snape turned up to class drunk and him and Harry started getting sexual in his Chambers, until he threw up and passed out from alcohol poisoning. Harry and Hermione took him to the Hospital wing, but on their way back to class they ran into Luna who has just told them that the rumurs aren't what they think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains great realizations and emotional drama.

“What are they saying then?” Harry asked.

“People are such silly creatures.” Luna mused, more to herself than to Harry and Hermione. “They always think their fears will be reality, so much that they obsess over it and although it is what they would hate to happen the most, it is the first thing that they will believe.” The other two gave her a very confused look, but she didn’t seem to notice and continued “The Wrackspurts only worsen the problem.  They enter into a mind filled with fear and they make it all fuzzy so that they cannot even think right.  All of their smarts just float away and they act irrationally and believe things that aren’t true.”

Then she turned to look at Harry and said “You desire the company of the more masculine gender.” Then she turned to Hermione and said “While you desire the company of a ginger.” Both Harry and Hermione were now as red as a Weasley’s ginger hair.

“How do you know –” Harry started before being interrupted by Luna.

“However the whole school thinks that you desire the company of each other.  And all because your ginger jumped to conclusions out of fear.  It’s really his fault that this Wrackspurt infestation is here…”

“Wait Luna,” said Harry trying to wrap his mind around what the blond just said “Do you mean to say that the whole school thinks that me and Hermione are dating?  Because Ron misunderstood what he overheard us saying??” Luna didn’t say anything in reply; she simply hummed and then began to walk away towards the Hospital Wing bathrooms.

Harry and Hermione looked at each other in shock; they didn’t know what to say.  After a few minutes of staring, Hermione was the first one to speak up

“…If what Luna said was true and Ron’s ‘worst fear’ is that the two of us are dating…  Does that mean… that he… likes me back..?” Harry smiled

“I knew it!  See, this is why you should have just told him in the first place.” Hermione blushed and then the two of them started thinking back to their last conversation with Ron, they had never actually specifically said what it was they were talking about, and neither had he.  They had actually been talking about two completely different things and they didn’t even realize it!

Harry suddenly felt elated when he realized that Ron didn’t hate him for being gay!  He didn’t even know that he was gay.  He hated him because he thought that he was dating Hermione!  Then he remembered what he had said at the end of their fight

_“If you really think that… if mine and Hermione’s feelings really piss you off so much then you can sod off and find other friends.  I thought that everything that we’ve been through would have meant more to you than this…  But apparently I was wrong.”_

When he had said “mine and Hermione’s feelings” he had meant them separately!  Only now he realized that it really did sound like they were together!  And then he had gone and put his arm around her, it was no wonder that Ron had come to that assumption!  Merlin, he was an idiot!

Hermione couldn’t contain her sudden fit of giggles that she found herself in.  Could it really be true..?  Could Ron not have been rejecting her when he said those horrible things, but was instead in a jealous rage??  Not that it made what he had said any better.  There was no excuse for what he had said to both of them.  Even if they _were_ dating there was not excuse for it.  But Hermione just couldn’t help the hope that was bubbling up inside of her.  She really, _really_ liked Ron.  She might even love him…  And if he had reacted like that when he thought that she was with Harry, then could Harry possibly have been right all along?? Did Ron actually like her back after all???

“Hermione, are you okay..?” Harry asked a little worriedly after Hermione had been giggling uncontrollably for over a minute.  Hermione stopped giggling, but the huge grin that had somehow wound up on her face just simply wouldn’t go away.

“Yeah I’m fine Harry.” She said “And if what Looney–I mean Luna, said was true, then I’m absolutely wonderful!”

“We have to go talk to Ron.”  Harry said “Just to know for sure.” Hermione agreed and then they started marching back towards their Potions classroom.

Most of the class had taken this opportunity to study for their O.W.L.s, while others had taken this as an opportunity to socialize.  Ron was among the latter.  They walked up to him as he was having a rather animated conversation with Seamus.  Seamus saw them before Ron did as his back was to them.  He nudged him and Ron turned around. 

Ron gave them both a hateful glare.  His blue eyes were cold as ice and narrowed in contempt.  Harry and Hermione stopped for a moment and looked at each other a little worriedly.  How could their friend – well, ex-friend – show them so much hate and contempt in his eyes?  Even if they weren’t friends anymore, even if he was jealous, how could he just have such a pure loathing towards them?  They worried that maybe they would never get their friend back…

However, after that brief moment of doubt, they continued walking towards him.  If he was going to hate them, then he would hate them for the truth, not a simple misunderstanding.

What the two of them didn’t know though, was that behind that stare was a fast beating heart and tears unshed.  Men don’t cry.  He knew that, he had known that for all of his life.  Having five older brothers had taught him that.  If you’re a man then you don’t cry, you don’t show weakness, you don’t tremble or whimper or blush.  Turn all sadness into anger and all heartbreak and fear into hatred.  He knew this, and he was well practiced in it.  He could give a hateful glare with the best of them, however, though he may be able to lie to the rest of the world, he couldn’t lie to himself.

He could feel his heart clench at the sight of them.  He felt longing to be in Harry’s place beside _her_.  He felt regret that he had not acted sooner.  He felt the spark of jealousy ignite.  He felt his narrowed eyes burn with tears that he would never let fall.  The sight of her with him was like a sun, blinding him and causing a searing pain.  He could lie to Seamus and Dean and Neville and the rest of the whole bloody world!  But he couldn’t lie to himself…  He couldn’t pretend to himself that he didn’t feel…  Not when feeling hurt so much…

The couple stopped in front of him, both looking him dead in the eyes, an unreadable expression in their own.  They stood there for a moment, as if weighing the consequences of going any further.  Then at last, _she_ said

“Ron we need to talk to you.  Now.  Alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of this chapter? What do you think of my portrayal of Luna?? How do you think Ron will react??? PLease write a comments bellow and share what you think!!


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 22 years ago James Potter raped Severus Snape. Just a few days ago, Snape raped James’ son Harry in revenge. However, Harry is in love with Snape. Snape is now confused and feeling very guilty for doing what was once done to him while Harry is hoping that maybe something more could come of that encounter. Harry told Hermione about it and although she was angry at first, he calmed her by telling her that he would ensure that this was the only time Snape had done this and by reminding her that she must tell Ron Weasley about her feelings for him. Ron overheard this conversation and came to the assumptions that his friends were dating and in a jealous rage blew up at the two of them. Hermione assumed that this was a rejection of her affections and Harry that Ron hated him for being gay. This was overheard by some gossipy Gryffindor girls and now all of Hogwarts believes that they are a couple and are not happy about it. Then a drunk Snape shows up to class, gets sexual with Harry before vomiting and passing out from alcohol poisoning! Harry and Hermione take him to the Hospital WIng but they then run into Luna who tells them that the whole school thinks they're dating because of Ron. They are now going to confront Ron...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains adult language, intense emotions and realizations of great truths.

“Ron we need to talk to you.  Now.  Alone.” Hermione said, sounding far less nervous than she actually felt.  Both her and Harry expected Ron to tell them to sod off or something of the sort.  However, to their surprise, he actually got up and began to follow them. 

They led the way to a corner beside a staircase, first making sure that there was no one around, Hermione cast a privacy spell.  Then Ron said to them,

“So what do you want?” Ron just wanted to get this over with.  He was a bundle of nerves around them and all he wanted to do was just run away…  But _she_ had told him to come and every bit of him had felt compelled to obey and follow her.

“Ron…” said Harry, unsure of exactly how to ask this question, “Do you think that me and Hermione are dating?” Ron’s mask of hate then fell away and the confusion that he felt at this question showed.  What did that mean??  Of course he thought that!  They were, weren’t they??  Or did this mean that they weren’t..? 

“Yeah!” said Ron “I mean, you are, aren’t you..?” Then the two of them looked at each other and smiled.  They were smiling??  What did that mean..?  Were they together or were they not together???

“No,” said Hermione, laughing while she spoke “Ron, we’re not dating.”

As the bell that signalled the end of Potions and the beginning of their break rang, Ron felt an odd mix of relief and confusion wash over him.  They weren’t dating??  But… but how?!  It had seemed like they were…  How could they not be?  All of the things that he had seen and heard that proved them to be dating ran through his mind.

“But… but I heard you talking!  Harry told you that you had to tell me something!  You were keeping me in the dark about your relationship!  You –”

“No.” Harry said, interrupting Ron just as he was beginning to get angry again. “Ron, yes, we were keeping something from you, but it wasn’t any kind of a relationship.  Hermione and I are just friends Ron, nothing more.  We never have been and we never will be anything more.  I think of her like a sister.”

Ron’s mind was reeling.  He just couldn’t believe it!  He had been so sure…  He had been such a right arse to them!  And it wasn’t true..?  He had lost two of the best friendships that he had ever had, lost any chance of ever getting Hermione, all because he had jumped to conclusions..?!  No, that just couldn’t be!

“Wait, so you _were_ keeping something from me!” he shouted, trying to find anything he could to justify his actions, his anger.  Anything at all that would put him in the right somehow.

However, at this Hermione looked down and blushed.  She couldn’t look him in the eyes.  She knew that she had to tell him now, she had promised Harry and Ron was literally asking her what it was that she was keeping from him.  She had to tell him, but every bit of her felt like it was going to explode!  Her heart was beating like a bass drum in her chest and her breathing was getting faster and heavier by the second.  She was blushing so much that it had traveled down her neck to her chest.  Her chest felt hot and far too small to contain her rapidly beating heart and expanding lungs that now suddenly needed more air than they did before.

She couldn’t do it, she just couldn’t!  She couldn’t even look into his eyes…  She was a poor excuse for a witch…  All of this magic power and she couldn’t even tell the boy she liked that she liked him, even though it seemed that he might just like her too…  With all of her brains and smarts, she couldn’t even think past her emotions for one second in order to express them to the guy that she likes – and might even love…  But she just couldn’t do it!  She-

Hermione’s endless panicking thoughts were interrupted by Harry putting a hand on her shoulder.  She looked at him and smiled; now having much more confidence.  Ron saw this interaction and felt a twinge of jealousy.  Even if they weren’t together and they never would be, they had a connection.  Somehow the two of them had become extremely close and formed a bond, one that he would never share and he knew it…  Hermione then looked into his eyes, still blushing immensely and said

“Ron, what I was keeping from you… it… it’s that… Ron, I really like you.” When Ron heard those words his legs gave out and he dropped down to his knees.  He heard the two of them yell his name and ask if he was okay, but their voices seemed muffled.  His mind and heart was a cesspool of guilt.  He had finally come to grasp what he had done, and any chance of him being anywhere in the right was non-existent.  He had ruined his friendship with Harry…  And he had ruined both his friendship and any future that he could have had with the woman that he loved, who just so happened to “really like him”, which was far more than good enough for him…

He had ruined everything, and all because of a petty jealousy.  If he had just talked to them, asked them about it, then none of this would have happened…  But… maybe, just maybe… he still had a chance to get it all back.  They were here with him now weren’t they..?  Maybe… maybe he could even have a chance with Hermione, maybe not now, but one day.  After all, if there was no chance then why would she tell him how she felt..?  Maybe… he still had a chance…  If that was the case, then he wasn’t going to screw it up again.

Not even realizing that a single tear had fallen from his right eye, he looked up at Hermione.  He looked into her big brown eyes, filled with worry that was for him.  He didn’t even think before the words left his mouth,

“I like you too.” Hermione gave a squeal of happiness and then threw her arms around him, taking the both of them down to the floor.  They both then just lay there, staring into each other’s eyes.  Brown into blue and blue into brown, both filled with utter happiness and content in that moment.

Harry stood up from his kneeling position and smiled at his friends before turning his back on them to give them some semblance of privacy.

_It’s about time._ He thought to himself happily.  Quite a few minutes passed before the silence was interrupted by Ron’s voice.

“Harry, you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, but a couple days ago when we had our… fight, what did you mean when you said that I knew something about you?”

Harry visibly tensed before turning around.  Ron felt Hermione tense at his side.  So there was something else that they were keeping from him..?  This time about Harry?

_I suppose that I would’ve had to tell him sooner or later…_ Harry thought to himself as he sighed _It might as well be now.  If he’s going to hate me for it, then he’ll hate me for it, nothing that I can do about that…_

Suddenly, Hermione was by his side, her hand on his shoulder, like just minutes ago he had done for her.  So he took a deep breath and without hesitating he said

“Ron, I’m gay.” The silence that followed this statement was thick with tension.  Hermione stood a little closer to Harry, afraid what Ron would say.  She didn’t want to have to choose between them when she had just gotten Ron back as a friend and maybe even something more…

After a few agonizing minutes, the silence was interrupted by Ron’s shout of,

“You’re a bloody poof?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your wonderful comments in the last chapter :) your comments are what keeps this story going, I have never written a story, fanfiction or otherwise that has been this long before. So thank you so very, very much :)
> 
> What did you think of this chapter? What do you think will happen between Ron and Hermione?? And what do you think Ron will do now that he knows that Harry's gay??? Leave a comment below and give your thoughts!!!


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 22 years ago James Potter raped Severus Snape. Just a few days ago, Snape raped James’ son Harry in revenge. However, Harry is in love with Snape, who is now confused and feeling very guilty for doing what was once done to him while Harry is hoping that maybe something more could come of that encounter. Harry told Hermione about it and although she was angry at first he calmed her by telling her that he would ensure that this was the only time Snape had done this and by reminding her that she must tell Ron Weasley about her feelings for him. Ron overheard this conversation and came to the assumption that his friends were dating and in a jealous rage blew up at the two of them. Hermione assumed Ron rejected her and Harry that Ron hated him for being gay. This was overheard by some gossipy Gryffindors and now all of Hogwarts believes that they are a couple and are not happy. However on their way back from taking an alcoholpoisoned Snape to the Hospital Wing they run into Luna who tells them that everyone thinks that they're dating. They confront Ron and this proves to be true but they tell him otherwise. Ron and Hermione stare at eachother as love blosoms. Then Harry ends up telling Ron that he's gay and he doesn't react well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains homophobia and public embarrassment.

“You’re a bloody poof?!” At this exclamation Harry felt the same sensations as he had just a few days ago when Ron had told him that he couldn’t stand to look at him anymore.  He felt like he’d been stabbed through the chest and punched in the gut at the same time.  Beside him, he felt Hermione start to shake with fury.

“Ronald Weasley!” she yelled “How dare you say that to Harry?!” Ron’s eyes widened at Hermione’s words.  Then he looked at Harry and with a bit of panic in his voice, he said

“No, I didn’t mean anything bad by it!  I’m just a bit shocked is all…  Never thought you swung that way, mate.” Harry breathed a sigh of relief before asking the same question that he had asked a couple days ago.

“So… does this change things between us..?” Ron flinched at the memory of what he had said the last time he was asked this question.  Then he replied, rather sheepishly

“Of course not mate.  I mean, I’m a pure-blood, but my family isn’t as narrow-sighted as others.”

“What do you mean?” Hermione asked.

“Oh yeah,” Ron said “I always forget that you two don’t know all too much about the Wizarding World…  Well the thing is, unlike the Muggles who are slowly starting to accept people who like the same gender; Wizards are still stuck in the middle ages.  This is what my Dad says anyway…  Because of magic, Wizards had no reason to evolve any further than they already had, and since the Statute of Secrecy was established in 1692 Wizards were completely disconnected from Muggles.  Because of this, Wizards have kept the same mindsets, attitudes and beliefs as both Wizards and Muggles had back then in the late 1700’s.  This includes their views on homosexuality. 

“Although these beliefs were originally due to the fact that two wizards or two witches could not produce an heir to the family name, potions have since been created to make that possible.  Now it’s just a bias that has no ground that just gives people a reason to say that they are better than somebody else.  Just like with Purebloods and Muggleborns.”

Both Harry and Hermione stood dumbfounded after Ron’s speech.  The redhead wasn’t one to be so intellectual.  Seeing their expressions he blushed and then said

“My Dad and Charlie go on rants about this a lot, so I practically know it off by heart…” Harry and Hermione laughed and were soon joined by Ron.  After she had calmed herself, Hermione asked

“Why would Charlie go on rants about this?”

“Oh yeah,” Ron said “I forgot to mention that.  He’s gay.”

“Charlie’s gay?” asked Hermione.

“Yeah.” said Ron with a smile. “That’s probably the main reason why my family is so accepting about it.  He came out when I was just a couple years old, so I grew up with it, you know?  He’s got a boyfriend too actually.  Another Dragon tamer just like him, I’ve met him a couple times.” Harry just couldn’t believe it.  It seemed like he had worried over this for over two years for absolutely nothing!

“So Ron, you’re completely okay with me being gay..?”

“Yeah.” Said Ron, looking at him as if he had just asked if he was okay with having fingers. “Why wouldn’t I be?  I’ve just got to ask though, do you fancy me?” Harry smiled and then said

“No, sorry Ron, I’ve never fancied you.” Ron sighed in relief and then said

“Good, I don’t think that I would have been able to handle confessions from _both_ of my best friends in one day.” As the trio began to laugh once more the bell rang to signal the next period.  As they walked to History of Magic they reveled in the comfortable normality of having all three of them together again, and the closest that they had been in years.  All of their secrets were out in the open, not keeping anything from either of the others.  Well, except for Snape, but that seemed like a bit too much to tell Ron in just one day…

When they were about halfway to class, Ron interrupted them and said

“Look Harry, Hermione I’m really, really, _really_ sorry for how I’ve acted for the last couple of days…  It was stupid and childish and petty and I must have hurt you both a lot…  I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like I did; I should have just asked you about it.  So… yeah… I’m just really sorry and I feel _really_ bad about it…  The guilt is literally eating away at me…  I’m so, so sorry…” Ron hung his head in shame.

“Look Ron,” said Harry “We’re really glad to have you back as a friend, we really are.  But what you said and did upset the both of us a lot, especially Hermione.  So I don’t think that either of us is ready to completely forgive you just yet.  I think that you should earn that.” Ron nodded enthusiastically. 

“Okay, I will.” said Ron “I’ll do anything to make up for it.” Harry smiled.

“Good.” He said.

As they continued walking to class, Ron apologized twice more.  And nine times in History of Magic.  He had already apologized three times during lunch before Harry told him something that he could do to make it up to them a little bit.  So about half way through lunch Ron stood up and walked to the front of the Great Hall.  Then using _Sonorus_ (which of course was taught to him by Hermione), he said in his now magnified voice

“Harry Potter and Hermione Granger are not and never _were_ dating.  I overheard something and misunderstood it.  I am sorry for the confusion, but you can stop your  rumours now.  Thank you.” Then he cast _Quietus_ to revert his voice back to normal and walked back over to his seat at the Gryffindor table, his face a burning red.

Harry patted him on the back and Hermione said “Thank you.” And then they continued with their lunches.  Harry noted that Snape was not at the staff table.  He must still be in the Hospital Wing…  Harry made the decision to go and check on how he was if he wasn’t there at dinner.

 The rest of the day went quite similarly to the morning and Harry could have sworn that by the end of it Ron had apologized nearly a hundred times!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your wonderful comments in the last chapter :) And sorry that I scared you all into thinking that Ron was a homophobe, but I just really wanted him to say that line :) And just as a forward, the next chapter will be about Snape! :) 
> 
> What did you think of this chapter? What do you think about Ron's explanation of homophobia in the Wizarding world and Charlie being gay?? Do you think that Ron's apology has made up for his stupidity??? And what do you think will happen in the next chapter when we check in on Snape in the Hospital Wing?????


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 22 years ago James Potter raped Severus Snape. Just a few days ago, Snape raped James’ son Harry in revenge. However, Harry is in love with Snape who is now confused and feeling very guilty for doing what was once done to him while Harry is hoping that maybe something more could come of that encounter. Harry told Hermione about it and although she was angry at first, he calmed her by telling her that he would ensure that this was the only time Snape had done this and by reminding her that she must tell Ron Weasley about her feelings for him. Ron overheard this conversation and came to the assumptions that his friends were dating and in a jealous rage blew up at the two of them. He has now been told the truth that Hermione likes him and Harry is gay so he is very sorry and willing to do anything to make up for it. Meanwhile, Snape who has just recently tried to get rather sexual with one Harry Potter while he was quite drunk is about to wake up in the Hospital Wing…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains talk of erections, masturbating and prostitutes, sexual content, joke made at another's expense, and heart-wrenching loneliness.

Snape awoke to a pounding in his head, a soreness about his entire body and a hardness about his nether regions.  He groaned at the uncomfortable situation he was in.  Then, realizing that his eyes were still closed, he opened them.  He was met by a blindingly painful light and brightness surrounding him everywhere.  He immediately threw his hands over his eyes in an effort to stop the intrusion of light.

When his eyes had stopped burning enough for him to look at his surroundings, he saw that he was in a bed in the Hospital Wing.  How could he have ended up here..?  He searched back in his memory to try and find a reason…

He remembered staying up drinking all night, dreading seeing Harry Potter the next morning.  Then he must have passed out at some point because the next thing he remembered was a small blurry figure with a squeaky voice waking him up and telling him “Master Severus, Master Severus!  You is needed to be teaching in your class!” it must have been a house elf.  Then he remembered drinking, yes, more drinking.  The elf kept bothering him in its grating squeaky voice, and then he had chased after it intending to make the voice stop.  He had thrown his glass at it, yes, that was it. 

Then he had somehow ended up in a noisy room full of children, which must have been his classroom as he remembered beginning to teach.  He remembered Potter coming up to him and talking to him…  What had he said..?  He had asked if he was alright, yes, that must have been it.  Then…  What had happened after that?  Trying to remember was making his head pound harder and harder, but he needed to know.  Then, suddenly, his mind was filled with images of Harry Potter moaning underneath him, their bodies pressed together.  A feeling of longing and wanting and _need_.  The frustration of being refused what he wanted.

No, no, no.  No!  That had _not_ happened.  It must have been a dream.  It must have been a part of his dream that he had just awoken from.  But in that dream, Potter had been willing, he hadn’t said no.  It _had_ to have been a dream!  It wasn’t _allowed_ to be reality.  He refused to even think that it even _might_ have happened. 

However, then another image came to the front of his mind.  It was of Potter squirming underneath him.  Moaning.  But in between the moans there were words.

_“… Yes… I know… that I said that… but you’re drunk!  You can’t… decide…_ anything _… right now…  So stop!  Before you do something that you’ll regret!”_

NO!  He refused to think about that!  He refused to think about how much sense it would make if it had actually happened.  It was a _dream_ , nothing more than that!  Severus refused to acknowledge that maybe deep down, he actually _wanted_ that.

“Oh, Severus.” Said the familiar voice of Poppy Pomfrey. “You’re awake, good.  Drink these.”  Then she handed him two potions.  The first relieved him of the pounding in his head and the second of the soreness about his body.  He wished that he could have a potion to relieve the tightness in his pants, but he would get no such potion.  The only cure for it being a good wank in his dungeons. 

“Why am I here Poppy?” Severus asked.

“Alcohol poisoning.  You really need to curb that drinking habit of yours Severus.  If it had not been for Mr. Potter and Ms. Granger bringing you up here, then you most likely would have died from it.”

“Potter brought me here?” he asked, the appropriate amount of distaste in his voice to mask the worry that he was feeling due to the evidence that his dream _might_ have been real.

“Yes and Ms. Granger.  Funnily enough Severus, the boy was genuinely worried about you.  He seemed as though he was on the brink of a panic attack, I had half a mind to keep him here as well until he calmed down.  But as soon as he heard that you were going to be okay, he calmed down considerably.”

“Oh was he?” Severus asked absent-mindedly.  His mind still focused almost entirely on the possibility that he may have practically molested Potter while he was intoxicated. 

“Yes, he was Severus.  You know, you really are much too hard on the boy.  He clearly cares for you, the least you could do is show him a bit of kindness.”

“Yes, he sure _cares_ for me alright.” Severus muttered under his breath.  Then he said audibly “I show him the same amount of kindness as I do for the rest of my students.  I will not treat him differently simply because he is the boy who lived.” Madam Pomfrey _‘_ _harrumphed’_ and then said,

“Don’t treat him differently because he’s the boy who lived.” She said exasperatedly “Treat him with some kindness because he just saved your life today.  I know for a fact that there are plenty of students in this castle who would have gladly let you die and good riddance too.  You’re already a grumpy old bastard and you aren’t even forty yet!  So just show the boy a little appreciation in the very least.  And the Granger girl too.”

“… Fine.” He said with a sneer. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost time for dinner Severus.” She replied “And before you ask, no you cannot go.  I will have the house elves bring you some food here.  You nearly died today, so you will be under my care until I see fit for you to leave.  Is that understood?”

“Yes.” Severus drawled. 

“Good.” She said and then she turned around and left.  _Cranky old woman sticking her nose in where it doesn’t belong…  I’ll treat the boy however I feel like._ But then he found himself feeling guilt once more for the way he _had_ treated the boy just a few days ago…  He tried to take his mind away from the guilt and the disgust that he held for himself and his mind unwillingly traveled back to his dream.  The dream that seemed more and more like reality by the minute as blurred and disoriented images trickled into his mind. 

However, he still refused to believe that it had happened.  He refused to believe that even in a drunken state he wanted to do _anything_ with the boy.  Even if he had dreamt about doing those very things every night since _it_ had happened.  But that was only natural; after all it was the first sexual experience he had had in years.  And although he hated that his mind was concocting such things, it was a far better dream than the sort that he was used to which involved the boy’s father… 

It was completely and utterly natural for him to have dreams about his latest sexual encounter, especially considering the last one had been a hooker.  As had many of the others before… 

In all honesty, Severus had never actually had a _real_ relationship.  He’d had hookers and one night stands and little flings here and there, all with both genders.  He didn’t much care either way.  The only thing that he absolutely would not do was be penetrated.  Even if there was a part of him that wanted to be, it just reminded him of James Potter and what he had done to him…  He himself didn’t even play with that area anymore, though he had when he was younger. 

Severus had experimented with all kinds of things.  Gone through fazes of nearly every sort that he could imagine.  However, not once in his 37 years of life had he ever had an actual relationship.  This was due both to the fact that he had never gotten over Lily and because of the fact that he was raped when he was younger, he was afraid to truly open up to people.  Not that he would ever admit that.  To anyone.  Ever.

Severus knew that he had problems.  He had trust issues.  He had loyalty issues.  He had decision making issues.  He had attitude issues.  He had social interaction issues.  He had issues of all sorts.  Hell, Severus himself wasn’t even sure what side of the bloody _war_ he was on!  Both of the sides had their reasons, they both had their prejudices, they both had their problems and they both had their manipulative leaders. 

Severus agreed with some parts of the Dark and some parts of the Light.  However, he despised both of their leaders and the lengths to which they both would go to get what they wanted.  It was like the two of them were playing a game of chess with the lives of those that blindly followed them.  Dumbledore the white and Voldemort the black.  While he, Severus, was a gray piece. 

If Severus had to say what side of the war he was on and answer honestly, then he would say his own side.  He was a Slytherin after all, not some damned Hufflepuff!  He was on his own side, because who else did he have to count on?  Both Voldemort and Dumbledore would have him killed in the blink of an eye if it furthered their plans even in the slightest.  As long as he stayed useful, as long as he had value to them, he was allowed to live.

In truth, he was on no one’s side because no one was on his side.  He was just another chess piece being pushed around.  Neither Dumbledore nor Voldemort gave a rat’s ass about him, so why should he care about their plans?  Yes, if he made it to the end of the war, he would eventually side with whoever was going to win, simply to ensure his own survival.  Because really, why should he have to care about anything or anyone else?  After all, no one cared about him for who he was.  Sure, there were those who cared about the spy or the Potions Master or the Legilimens or the Occlumens or the Professor.  But no one just cared about Severus Snape.  And really, why should they..?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is so late, my stupid computer deleted my chapter because I forgot to save it and then I had a lot of trouble re-writing it after having already written it...
> 
> But anyway, what did you think of this chapter? What do you think of Snape's reaction to his so-called "dream"?? What do you think of Snape's position in the war (btw, that will become important in future chapters)??? What do you think of Severus' sexual past???? And would you give Snape a hug right there at the end of the chapter when he's all sad????? Please leave a comment below and give your thoughts, opinions, ideas and whatever else you would like to say :)


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 22 years ago James Potter raped Severus Snape. Just a few days ago, Snape raped James’ son Harry in revenge. However, Harry is in love with Snape, who is now confused and feeling very guilty for doing what was once done to him while Harry is hoping that maybe something more could come of that encounter. Harry told Hermione about it and although she was angry at first, he calmed her by telling her that he would ensure that this was the only time Snape had done this and by reminding her that she must tell Ron Weasley about her feelings for him. Ron overheard this conversation and came to the assumptions that his friends were dating and in a jealous rage blew up at the two of them. He has now been told the truth that Hermione likes him and Harry is gay so he is very sorry and willing to do anything to make up for it. Meanwhile, Snape who just recently tried to get rather sexual with one Harry Potter while he was quite drunk, has woken up in the Hospital Wing and absolutely refuses to believe that his "dream" about Harry was real...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains masturbation, voyeurism, deep emotional pain and sexual content. If you would like to skip the sexual content then when you get to the “**” skip until you reach the “***”.

Harry looked up at the staff table during dinner and saw that once again, Snape wasn’t there.  Hermione gave him a knowing look.

“Look, I got something that I’ve got to do.” Harry said to his two friends.

“What is it?” Ron asked enthusiastically, “Maybe I could help.”

“No Ron, it’s fine.” Harry said as he stood up, slung his bag over his shoulder and began to walk out of the Great Hall.  First, he stopped by the Gryffindor tower and dropped off his bag, and deciding that he didn’t want Madam Pomfrey to know that he was visiting Snape, he decided to grab his invisibility cloak out of the bottom of his trunk.  Then Harry threw it over his head and went back down to the third floor and then to the Hospital Wing.

When he got there he looked around for Snape.  Then he saw a bed with the curtains drawn around it.  Harry crept over and peeked through the curtains.  There was Snape alright.  With his cock out and his hand up his shirt!  Snape was masturbating!!  Harry knew that he should look away.  That he should turn around and leave right this instant, but he just couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of his professor in front of him…

**

The steady movement of his hand, moving up and down his shaft; curling slightly at the top before descending back down to the base.  The slight flush of his cheeks and the tightness of his closed eyelids, the way his other hand roamed around his own chest underneath his shirt.  It was the most erotic thing that he had ever seen, not to mention the fact that this was the man he was in love with, which just made him all the harder. 

Snape was mumbling something under his breath.  A very large portion of him wished that it was his own name…  Even though he knew that it couldn’t _possibly_ be that.  Still, he hoped…  Harry felt a great need to touch himself as well.  He knew that if he did that it would be the greatest wank he’d ever had, watching the man he loved jerk himself off right in front of him…  But he couldn’t help but feel that it was wrong…  Disrespectful, perverted.  Snape would absolutely not be happy if he knew that Harry had seen him masturbating at all, never mind stayed to watch and then started masturbating to him…

But as he heard Snape give a soft, almost silent moan, which was only audible because of the silence in the Hospital Wing and that Harry was standing so close, Harry couldn’t stop himself anymore.  With his eyes never leaving Snape, he let his pants and boxers fall to the floor and then grasped his erection in one hand and his wand in the other.  As silently as he could, he whispered the lubrication spell, which he had been so frequent to using as of late, and began to rub himself.

He moved his hand up and down his erection, trying to use the same movements that the man in front of him was using.  He tried to imagine that it was Snape, who was rubbing him like this.  That it was Snape, who was grasping his erection and moving his hand up and down and curling slightly at the tip.

Harry dropped his wand on top of his pants and then using some of the lubrication from his other hand, he coated his fingers.  He then reached around behind himself and penetrated his entrance with his own finger.  Keeping his eyes on Snape and his other hand moving in sync to his, Harry thought back to a couple of days ago when Snape had stuck his fingers inside of him.  He tried his very best to imagine that feeling and replicate it in his mind. 

He thought as hard as he could and pretended that his own smaller, calloused finger was one of Snape’s smooth, pale, spidery ones…  He then inserted another finger inside of himself, having to bite his lip as he brushed against his prostate to suppress a moan.  He kept both his strokes and the movement of the fingers inside of him in time with Snape’s own strokes.

It truly was the best wank of his life.  He almost wanted to close his eyes in the pleasure of it, but he didn’t because he wanted to keep them on Snape.  To keep watching the erotic figure in front of him.  Harry felt like he was getting very, _very_ close to  cuming, when he heard a nearly silent whisper leave his professor’s mouth as his semen shot into the air and landed on his stomach and hand. 

***

He had said,

“ _Lily…_ ” Harry’s heart felt like it had stopped beating at that very moment.  He couldn’t breathe.  His mind went blank.  He thought and knew absolutely nothing except for a slow burning and yet somehow numbing pain.

Then slowly, very slowly, the reality of the situation hit him.  Here he was, standing under an invisibility cloak, his pants down, hand on his cock and fingers in his ass.  Watching his professor masturbate; a man who clearly had absolutely no interest in him whatsoever.  He felt wrong.  Just plain wrong.  After all, how would he feel if some invisible stalker was watching _him_ masturbate and jerking off  to him??

He had been living in this fantasy world for the last couple of days where he had almost nearly practically thought of himself and Snape as a couple having problems.  But that was as far from the truth as it was possible for him to get!  Snape was his Professor and more twice his age and he hated him and he had hated his father, who he looked nearly identical to.  And now Harry found out that Snape masturbated to thoughts of his own Mother.  Meaning that the man had most likely loved and was probably still in love with his own Mother…

Even if there was the slightest ounce of a chance that Snape could possibly ever come to like him in any sort of way, Harry would not put the man he loved through that.  He would not put Snape through having to see him, looking nearly identical to his horrible father, and having the eyes of his long lost love.  Whom he had lost, both to his own father and to death.  He just couldn’t put Snape through that…  It was no wonder that the man absolutely hated him!  Having to be reminded of those two people every time that he saw him… 

Harry’s mind once again made a comparison to his own life.  If Snape somehow fell in love with Draco Malfoy and then he died… Harry couldn’t stand the thought, but the train of thought continued regardless.  But first they had a son together, who looked exactly like Malfoy, but had Snape’s tunnel-like onyx coloured eyes…  Harry would never be able to have a relationship with such a child.

As tears began to fall from his eyes and down his face, Harry turned to leave.  He would leave and he would never, ever bother Snape again.  He would even switch out of potions if he had to, just to give the man some peace of mind.  He would never talk to him again and do his very best to avoid him and possibly never even look at him again.  It would hurt, yes.  But he figured that it would be better in the long run…

Snape deserved some semblance of happiness, and having Harry around was just going to cause him the opposite…  And maybe, eventually he would even get over him, like he had planned on that Monday evening that now seemed so, so long ago…  He would get over him, let his feelings fade and maybe one day he would move on.  Find someone better suited who wouldn’t tear his heart to shreds every time he thought of him…

The tears were streaming down his face by now and Harry couldn’t stand to look at Snape for another second longer, knowing what it was that he had to do…  So he quickly turned around and began to run towards the exit of the Hospital Wing.  However, he had not even managed a single stride as he had forgotten something very crucial…  His pants and boxers were still around his ankles!

He tripped and with a crash that was deafening in the silence of the Hospital Wing, he fell to the floor and the cloak slipped past his head and down to his chest.  Though he was relieved when he realized that he was lucky enough to still be covered in his lower regions, his relief was short lived as the Hospital Wing was filled with the deafening shout of

“POTTER!?!?!?!?!?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is so late, I've been really stressed with exams coming up and such. But anyway...
> 
> What did you think of this chapter? What do you think about what Harry did?? What do you think of Harry's plan to leave Snape alone forever??? And what do you think will happen in the next chapter now that Snape has discovered Harry?!?!?!
> 
> Please comment and give me your thoughts, questions, feelings, etc. I answer all comments posted so please comment :)


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 22 years ago James Potter raped Severus Snape. Just a few days ago, Snape raped James’ son Harry in revenge. However, Harry is in love with Snape, who is now confused and feeling very guilty for doing what was once done to him while Harry is hoping that maybe something more could come of that encounter. Harry told Hermione about it and although she was angry at first he calmed her by telling her that he would ensure that this was the only time Snape had done this and by reminding her that she must tell Ron Weasley about her feelings for him. Ron overheard this conversation, thought that his friends were dating and blew up at them. He has now been told the truth, is sorry and willing to make up for it. Meanwhile Snape, who just recently tried to get rather sexual with Harry while drunk is stuck in the Hospital Wing due to alcohol poisoning. Harry, being worried about the man came to the Hospital Wing to check on him, only to find him wanking. Being turned on, Harry starts wanking too, but then he hears Snape say “Lily” as he finished. Heartbroken Harry tries to run out only to be tripped by his own pants. Harry falls and his invisibility cloak reveals his top half, he is relived to still be covered bellow until…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains emotional pain.

“POTTER!?!?!?!?!?” Severus shouted at the top of his lungs.  The surprise and shock, anger and humiliation all bubbling up inside of him.  What had Potter seen??  Had he seen him masturbating..?  He hoped to Merlin that he hadn’t…  Had he heard him say his Mother’s name..?  What a way to scar a child, to say their Mother’s name while masturbating…

“WELL?!?!” Severus shouted after a few moments when Potter had failed to answer.

“I’m sorry.” The boy said with a cracked sob, only now Severus realized that the boy was crying. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry professor…  I shouldn’t have…  Should have left…  I’m so sorry…  I didn’t know…  If I knew then I would _never_ have…  I’m sorry, I’m sorry Sir, I –”

“What are you blabbering on about Potter?!  And stop your incessant sobbing, did no one ever teach you not to cry in front of others?!” Severus knew that he was being unnecessarily cruel to the boy, but it was a reflex.

“I’m sorry Sir.” The boy said as he stopped sobbing almost immediately.  Severus raised a questioning eyebrow, however the boy was not looking at him, in fact his was staring straight at the floor through where his body should have been.  However, deciding to ignore this odd behaviour for now, Severus said,

“Good.  Now stand up Potter.” Severus could have sworn that he had seen a blush flit over his cheeks before the boy obeyed.  First crouching and then standing up straight with the cloak now firmly around his shoulders.

“Off with that silly cloak now.” He said with less harshness than he had meant to use.  Potter then took off the cloak and then put it on the floor by his feet, which was oddly where his wand was also before he picked it up before standing up straight again. 

“Good.” Said Severus, then he said, “Now conjure yourself a chair and sit next to me.” The boy looked a little surprised at the request, but once again he followed it without question and conjured himself a flimsy, uncomfortable, little wooden chair.

“Now,” Severus said, purposely making his voice sound darker. “You are going to tell me exactly what you are doing here.  Do not _lie_ to me.  You know that I will be able to tell if you lie.  If you lie to me then illegal or not, I will perform Legilimens on you and find out for myself.  Is that understood?” Potter nodded fervently and then said in a quiet, slightly crackled voice,

“Sir, do you remember what happened before you came here?” Severus froze, could the dream be real after all..?

“Why don’t you enlighten me, Potter.” He said smoothly.  The boy took a deep breath and then began to explain how he had come into his classroom after throwing a glass at a house elf.  He had looked, sounded and acted terrible so Potter became worried and came up to him to ask him what was wrong.  All of this was as Severus remembered it; however it was the next part that left him temporarily speechless.

“Then, er… then you shouted at me to come with you to your Chambers, grabbed my arm and started leading me there…  You… you pushed me onto your bed, got on top of me and… and you started making certain… _needs_ known…” Severus couldn’t believe what he was hearing…  So it had actually happened…  Severus felt his face heat up with shame and humiliation, however despite this Potter continued with his eyes still on the floor.

“I… I tried to tell you no, that you shouldn’t because you weren’t in a right state of mind but… you were very… persistent…” Harry paused for a moment and blushed.  Severus could only imagine the types of things that he had done to _persuade_ the boy…  He then continued,

“I’m so, so sorry Sir, but I eventually gave in…  There is absolutely no excuse for it, I should have told you no, I should have tried to push you off… something!  I’m so sorry.”

“Potter, it’s not your fault.” Severus suddenly found himself saying, and before he could really start to wonder what the hell had just come out of his mouth, Potter looked at him for the first time since he had been discovered.  Those green eyes showed emotions that Severus hadn’t thought the boy was even capable of, that no 15 year old boy should be capable of…

There was longing…  Deep, powerful longing.  As well as a desire to be praised yet at the same time a humility that showed he didn’t think that he deserved it.  In those green eyes he saw sadness and pain and heartbreak.  Emotions that he had never before seen in such a young child and that he didn’t want to see in those green eyes that were so much like Lily’s.  He imagined that it was her eyes that he was looking into and it pained him deeply that her son felt so much pain at such a young age.

Unlike the soft caring texture that Lily’s eyes had always had however, Potter’s were hardened.  Not to the point where they were cold but somewhere in between.  What had this boy been through to put such a dark look into his eyes..?  And why did he feel the sudden need to comfort him and make all of that pain and heartbreak all go away..?

“It’s not your fault Potter.” He found himself saying again “I was intoxicated and acting on impulses that I should have been able to control.  You are a 15 year old hormonal teenager; you cannot blame yourself for giving into that.  Especially when it was someone that you have feelings towards, and I’m certain that you very much would have liked to do that sort of thing with me.  In fact, it is impressive in itself and shows your character that you were able to say no to me at all.” Potter didn’t seem like he was able to say anything at all as a response to that.  It was very clear that it wasn’t what he was expecting to hear, and Severus wasn’t even entirely sure why he was saying it. 

All he knew was that he just wanted to cheer Potter up and make that hard painful look in his eyes go away.  But what was he, a Gryffindor?!  To be acting on impulses like this?  However, he just couldn’t seem to help it…

“Also Potter, I would like to give you my utmost apology for what I did to you on Monday…” Severus said, not entirely sure why he was saying this, yes he felt guilty for it but he,Severus Snape, giving an apology to _anyone_ , never mind _Harry Potter_?!  It was just absurd!  And yet that was exactly what he was doing.

“What I did to you was wrong.  You are a child and I am a fully grown man, I should never have laid a single _finger_ on you, never mind what I did…  Rape is a horrible disgusting thing to do…  However, you were right on your assumption of my reasoning.  I will not go into any detail on the subject but it was as a revenge on your Father.  However, no matter the reasoning that I had, it was still wrong.  I think that I would be absolutely right in saying that it was the worst thing that I have ever done in my life…  I am so sorry Potter…”

Harry didn’t know what to think of this.  Snape was being so… so _nice_ to him!  It was so strange!  But, it felt good… really good…  Harry shook his head.  No, he couldn’t be thinking that way.  He can’t get used to how this feels because he had to leave him alone…  But he just didn’t know if he was really strong enough to actually do it…  Right now he _certainly_ didn’t feel strong enough…

Severus seeing that Harry likely wasn’t going to answer, he decided to change the subject and asked,

“So what exactly happened after you… gave in this morning?” Harry blushed.

“Nothing really.” He answered “We um… we started doing some things but then you vomited, passed out and had a seizure…  So I picked you up and carried you to Hermione Granger and together we levitated you to the Hospital Wing.”

“You picked me up?” Severus asked, quite surprised by that, though he was also relieved that nothing had happened between them.  Yet somehow, he was also the tiniest bit disappointed…

“Yeah…” Harry said “I think that it might have just been adrenaline or something or maybe my magic, because I was kind of panicking a lot…” Severus smirked.

“Oh, so you were worried about me, were you?”

“Yes.” Potter answered immediately.  Severus was a little taken aback by that, he had not expected for the boy to answer truthfully. “I was very worried about you…  I was afraid that you might die…”

Severus then asked a question, that he had only meant to think and not actually ask aloud.  It was a personal question, one that could give someone a very deep look into Severus Snape himself as an actual person…

“Would you miss me if I died?” Potter’s eyes widened in surprise and then worry and horror and fright as he answered immediately

“Of course I would!  I love you Sir, and I’m sorry that I do, I really, really am…  I know that you don’t love me back and you never will.  But I would most definitely miss you if you died!  I wouldn’t even want to live anymore if you died…”

Potter said the last part quietly but Severus heard it quite clearly.  Potter’s words filled him with a warmth that he hadn’t realized that it was possible to feel…  There was now someone who didn’t care about the spy or the Potions Master or the Legilimens or the Occlumens or the Professor.  They cared about _him_.  And though he would never say it; that had made him… happy.  And as he was unused to such a feeling, all he could think about it was what an odd feeling happiness really was…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the late chapter, exam and stuff... But my last exam is tomorrow so I should be updating regulariy now :)
> 
> Also, just to avoid confusion, when Harry crouched and then stood up, he pulled up his pants. I know that it wasn't really clear... But anyway...
> 
> What did you think of this chapter? What did you think of Snape's apology to Harry?? And what do you think will happen next???
> 
> Please comment bellow and tell me your thoughts, questions, feelings, and anything else :) Your comments are what keep this story going and I promise to answer any and all comments posted :)


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 22 years ago James Potter raped Severus Snape. Just a few days ago, Snape raped James’ son Harry in revenge. However, Harry is in love with Snape, who is now confused and feeling very guilty for doing what was once done to him while Harry is hoping that maybe something more could come of this encounter. Harry told Hermione about it and although she was angry at first he calmed her by telling her that he would ensure that this was the only time that Snape had done this and by reminding her that she must tell Ron Weasley about her feelings for him. Ron overheard this conversation, thought that his friends were dating and blew up at them. He has now been told the truth and is willing to do anything to make up for it. Meanwhile Snape, who just recently tried to get rather sexual with Harry while drunk is stuck in the Hospital Wing due to alcohol poisoning. Harry, being worried about the man came to the Hospital Wing to check on him, only to find him wanking and saying his mother’s name. Heartbroken, he tries to leave and is caught. They have since been talking and Snape has begun to open up…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains guilt misplaced and not, denial and references to masturbation, voyeurism and child abuse.

“So, Potter,” said Severus, after attempting to clear his throat, as it now felt as though it had something lodged in it. “You have told me how it is that I came to be here, but not how it is that _you_ came to be here.” Potter’s face went red once more as he said,

“Well… I had noticed that you weren’t at lunch and I decided that if you weren’t there at dinner that I would come here and see how you were doing…  But when I got here, you were…” Harry didn’t want to continue with what he was saying.  He knew that Snape would be able to tell if he lied, and he didn’t even think that he would be able to lie to Snape anyways.  But he most certainly didn’t want to tell him that he had seen him masturbating…

“What was I doing when you got here Potter?” Severus asked, dreading what his answer would be.  Because there was nothing else that it possibly _could_ be.  When the boy didn’t answer and just stared at the floor blushing, Severus said, “So you did see it after all.” Without taking his eyes off the floor, Potter nodded.

Severus sighed and put his head in his hand.  What a predicament that he was in here…

“What else did you witness, Potter?” Severus asked fearing the worst.  After a few moments, the boy answered,

“You said my Mother’s name…” Severus tried his best to remain calm on the outside, despite the panicking emotions inside of him.  And he had to say, he did a fairly decent job of it too.

“And exactly what did you think of that, Potter?” he asked.  After a few moments of silence, the boy’s voice broke as he sobbed,

“I’m sorry…” Severus was taken aback.

“For what?” he asked incredulously.

“I’m so, so sorry for forcing my feelings onto you…” the boy said as tears rolled down his face. “I’m sorry for how much I must hurt you every day just by existing and looking like my Father who tortured you, and my Mother who you loved and then lost both to my Father and then to death.  I am so, so, so sorry, Professor Snape!  I promise that I will never ever bother you again.  I’ll drop potions, I’ll avoid you, I’ll eat in the Kitchens.  You’ll never have to see me again.  I’m so sorry Sir!”

When Potter had stopped his rant and then broke down into uncontrollable sobs, Severus finally managed to find his voice.

“Potter, exactly when have you ever forced your feelings onto me!?” He said, completely bewildered by what the boy had said “I have been the only one to have done any forcing between us.  First, I raped you and then I molested you while I was drunk, and yet you’ve got it in your head that _you_ were the one forcing things onto _me_??  And yes, your Father was a bastard and I was in love with your Mother, but you are not them.” At this, Harry’s head snapped up to look Snape in the eyes.  Could he really mean that..?

“D-do you really mean that Sir..?” Harry asked.

“Yes, Potter.” Severus answered. “You are not your parents and you never have been.  It was wrong of me to try to make you out to be your Father when you clearly are not.  Your Father never would have cried like this, your Father never would have blamed himself for _anything_ and your Father never had the look that you have in your eyes.  One so full of pain…”

Severus had lost himself in his own thoughts and he wasn’t even sure what he was saying anymore.  He had never been this open with someone before.  He suddenly felt defenseless without all of his masks, but for some reason he was okay with that.  For some reason he was okay with talking to the boy like this.  For some reason, he felt safe with the boy.  But he would never tell him that.  Or at least, he hoped that he wouldn’t…

“Sir, why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden..?” the boy asked, “I… I thought that you hated me…” Before he even had a chance to think about what he was going to say, Severus heard himself say,

“I don’t think I ever really hated you, Potter.  I think that I was simply transferring my hatred of your Father onto you, which I was wrong to do.  But now that I’ve gotten to know you a little better, I can see that you are not like James.  You are like you.  And I would very much like to get to know _you_ better.”

What had he just said???  What the hell was going on with him???  This was not him; this was not how he, Severus Snape acted, especially not with  _Harry Potter_!!!  Why did he say that he wanted to get to know the boy better?? 

_Because it’s true,_ said the annoying little voice in his head. _You_ do _want to get to know him better Severus.  He’s not who you thought he was.  And you’re maybe, possibly even falli-_

NO!  He refused to allow the annoying voice to finish that thought.  It wasn’t true, it just wasn’t!  All of this just had to be caused by Potter!  All of these strange thoughts and behaviours, they all started with _him_!!  He knew that he had to get away from him in order to think right again, but he just couldn’t bring himself to tell the boy to leave…

Potter smiled, and Severus just couldn’t help but marvel at the beauty of it…

“What do you want to know?” the boy asked.  Severus thought for a moment and then decided to play along; after all, he was the one who said he wanted to get to know the boy better.

“How did you grow up?” He asked, before he thought about what he was going to say.  The boy’s smile faded and his face fell.  Severus couldn’t help the longing that he felt to see that smile back on his face…

“I grew up with my Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon and Cousin Dudley.” The boy said with a near emotionless expression on his face.  The only emotions that he could see were in his hard emerald eyes.  There was distaste, resent, and pain.  A pain that he had seen before, but he hadn’t imagined that he would see in the eyes of the Boy-Who-Lived!  It was the look of a child who had been abused…  Severus had seen that look many times, in his Slytherins’ eyes as well as some of the other students, but not nearly as frequently.  Also in the mirror, inside of his own eyes…

 Severus had seen the boy’s memories, yes, there had been images of him being chased by a dog and hit by his cousin, but he figured that’s what dogs and children did.  He never would have imagined that the boy had been _abused_.  Perhaps the boy was better at Occlumency than he had previously thought…

“Potter…” Severus said sadly.

“… Look, I don’t want to talk about it…” the boy said “Can we move on to a different question?”

So Severus let the question drop, and then started asking about much less serious and invasive topics.  Favourite colour, favourite food, favourite spell, things like that.  Before either of them had realized it, hours had passed.  It was now passed curfew and the boy should be in Gryffindor Tower.  So after casting the surprising _Tempus_ , Potter said,

“I should really get going now…” then as he was standing up to leave, Severus reached out and grabbed his hand, saying,

“No, stay.” Severus couldn’t believe what he had just said, but he just couldn’t bring himself to regret it…

“Okay.” said Harry as he immediately sat back down in his conjured chair; he hadn’t wanted to leave anyway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of this chapter? What did you think of Harry's misplaced apology?? What did you think of Snape's treatment towards Harry??? What do you think of what the annoying little voice in Snape's head was about to say???? And WHAT do you think of what Snape did when Harry was about to leave?????
> 
> Please PLEASE leave a comment below and tell me how you feel about this chapter or the story in general for any questions that you have about either. I answer all comments no matter what and I absolutely love comments :) So please leave a comment :) I would love to hear from my readers :)


	30. Chpater 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tale of misunderstanding and revenge, going back 22 years. James Potter, the rapist of Severus Snape and Severus of James’ son Harry, though the boy loves him and wished for such feelings to bloom in him as well. His dear friend Hermione fretted that perhaps this act was in serial, but Harry reassured her and promised to discover if it was. Hermione and Ron Weasley have confessed their feelings to one another and love has begun to bloom. Meanwhile, Harry has now discovered his beloved’s love for his own mother. He vows to leave Snape alone, so as not to torture him, but the man desires his presence for reasons he does not understand or want to accept, he wants to get to know him. When it is late and Harry must leave, he reaches his hand out and says to stay. Harry didn’t want to go anyway…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains talk of rape.

“Okay.” said Harry as he immediately sat back down in his conjured chair, he hadn’t wanted to leave anyway.  Harry smiled at his Professor; he was really, really enjoying himself.  He had never had this much fun simply talking to someone in all of his life.  Snape’s lips seemed to turn up for a split second before they returned to their usual straight line.

Harry didn’t want to question why Snape was being so nice to him; afraid that if he did that Snape would realize what he was doing and stop.  Harry also still knew that he should probably do what he had planned and just leave Snape alone, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it…  And besides, hadn’t Snape said that he wanted to get to know him?  Even if Snape would never love him, wouldn’t it be better to be friends than to never see him again..?  Yes, Harry decided.  Yes, it was better.

At that moment, Harry yawned loudly and Snape said,

“You’re tired, aren’t you?” Harry looked down and nodded.  He had wanted to say no, he didn’t want to leave, but he just couldn’t lie to Snape.  Harry expected Snape to tell him that he should go to bed now, but to Harry’s surprise, he lifted up his blanket, moved over on the hospital bed and said

“You will sleep here tonight.” Severus had absolutely no idea what he was doing, he hadn’t for hours.  So by this point he was just going with it.  He knew that once he was alone, he would actually think about what it was that he was doing and he would probably hate himself, but at the moment he just didn’t care.  It was quite nice really, happiness.

The boy then vanished his chair and crawled into the bed next to him.  He was clearly trying to keep as much distance between them as was possible on the small bed so that they weren’t touching.  The boy was nearly falling off of the edge.  Severus sighed and then pulled the boy closer to him. 

Harry was startled.  He had been trying to give Snape his space, so as not to make him uncomfortable to have him there.  But then Snape had pulled him right up against him, now there was barely any space between them at all.  Harry’s first thought when his brain started working again was that Snape smelled _amazing_.

The feeling of having the boy there lying next to him was indescribable.  It was the most comfortable and content that Severus had ever felt in his life…  Having the boy’s warm body lying next to his… it was just amazing.  Severus then felt the need to pull him even closer.  So he did.  He pulled him right up against him so that the boy’s face was now pressed against his chest.

Without thinking, Harry nuzzled his face into Snape’s chest and sighed contentedly.  Then he felt Snape’s arms wrap around him and hold him tightly.  Harry wished that he could just stay like this forever…  As did Severus…  And with that thought in both of their minds, Harry Potter and Severus Snape fell asleep together, completely content… 

*

At around one o’clock in the morning, Poppy Pomfrey’s alarm went off.  She grabbed her wand and whispered the incantation to stop the racket and then got out of bed.  She dressed herself and then made her way into the Hospital Wing to do her rounds.   

She remembered that she only had one patient tonight, Severus Snape.  She made her way to his bed to check on him and his vital signs.  When she got there, she was met with quite a surprise.  There was Severus alright, holding young Mr. Potter in his arms while they both slept soundly.  She had told the man to be kinder to the boy, yes.  But she hadn’t meant like _this_. 

The woman sighed, checked Severus’ vitals and then left.  She didn’t much care about what was going on with the two of them, nor was it any of her business.  She was used to discovering rather surprising things about both the students _and_ teachers of this castle.  And she was also used to keeping those rather surprising things to herself.

It was healer-patient confidentiality.  It was none of her business what-so-ever.  Even if Severus and Mr. Potter _were_ in a very illegal relationship, it was absolutely no concern of hers.  After all, it wouldn’t be the first time that she had come across an illegal thing or two.  It was no business of hers one way or another.  And if the two of them _were_ in a relationship, then good for them and she wished them the best.

*

Harry was awakened suddenly by violent movements in bed next to him.  He opened his eyes and there was Snape, tossing and turning in his sleep.  The memories from the night before suddenly flooded Harry’s mind, he smiled before he fully grasped the situation.  When he had, he attempted to try and comfort Snape who was clearly having a terrible nightmare.

“Shhhh… it’s okay professor.” He said soothingly while running his hand over the man’s arm.  It pained Harry to see the man he loved like this…  What could have happened in his life to cause a nightmare like this..? 

As Harry tried to calm Snape down (to no avail what-so-ever), his professor began mumbling incoherently in his sleep.  Harry could make out very little from it, just small words like “no” and “please” and “stop”.  Those few little words made Harry’s eyes burn with tears.  What could have happened to him..?  To cause such a tough, strong man to say such words…

Harry continued to try to comfort Snape and as he did, Snape’s words were becoming more and more understandable.  He had heard more begging and pleading and then, Harry had heard his own father’s name.

Harry’s blood boiled with rage.  This horrible nightmare was caused by _his own father?!?!_    As Snape continued to thrash about in the bed, Harry thought of how much he hated his father for how much he had hurt Snape throughout his years at Hogwarts and for how even now that he was dead that he was still torturing him in his dreams.

Then, while Harry was consumed with thoughts of hatred for his own father, in his sleep, Snape screamed something that was as clear as if he had yelled it if he were awake…

“NO!  TAKE IT OUT!  IT HURTS!  TAKE IT OUT!”

Harry’s mind was frantically hard at work connecting the pieces...  Snape was having a nightmare about his father.  There was only one thing that Harry could think of that would make someone scream something like that.  Snape was having a nightmare about James Potter.  There was only one possible conclusion.

Harry’s father, James Potter, had raped Severus Snape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of this chapter? What did you think of Snape asking Harry to sleep with him?? What do you think of Madam Pomfrey's reaction to discovering Harry and Snape??? And what do you think of what Harry has just figured out?????
> 
> Please leave a comment below giving your thoughts, opinions or questions, I would really love to hear your feedback :)


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tale of misunderstanding and revenge, going back 22 years. James Potter, the rapist of Severus Snape and Snape of James’ son Harry, though the boy loves him and wished for such feelings to bloom in him as well. His dear friend Hermione fretted that perhaps this act was serial, but Harry reassured her and promised to discover if it was. Hermione and Ron Weasley have confessed their feelings to one another and love has begun to bloom. Meanwhile, Harry has discovered his beloved’s love for his own mother and vows to leave Snape alone so as not to torture him. But Snape convinces him to stay and they spend the night together. However, when Harry awakens Snape is having a nightmare and through his sleep-talk Harry discovers that Snape was raped by his own father!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains talk of rape, intense hatred, misplaced guilt, and bordering on suicidal (but not quite) thoughts.

Harry felt his mind go blank.  His own father had raped the man that he loved…  He had never been more disgusted to be related to someone in all of his life.  Not even the Dursleys, even _they_ had never gone _that_ far.  Now Harry truly understood why Snape had raped him.  Yes, it was for revenge on his father.  But it wasn’t because he bullied him.  Snape had raped Harry because he himself had been raped by his father.

Harry felt sick to his stomach.  He felt like he was going to throw up.  How could his own father – no, James – have done something like that?!  Why would he have done something like that??  What had Snape _ever_ done to him?!  It just couldn’t be!!   He knew that James was not exactly the nicest person in the world, he was a bully, but to do something like this?!  He just couldn’t believe it!  But he had to, because it _happened_.  It had happened and there was nothing that he could do to stop or prevent it…  Nothing at all…

As Harry looked again at the face of the man he loved, that was so contorted with pain; he felt his blood begin to boil.  He felt as though his blood was bubbling in his veins and that it was as hot as magma.  His mind clouded over with anger and hatred and his vision began to blur.  As hot wet tears began to roll down his face, Harry felt nothing but rage towards the man that he was once so proud to look like.  Towards the man that he was once proud to be compared to.  Towards the man that he was once proud to be the son of.  People always spoke so well about his parents; none of them would ever believe that James would do something like this. 

Could this mean that his Mother was also not the wonderful person that people said that she was..?  But Snape had been in love with her, so she must have been at least half decent…  Not like James.  But then how had she ever possibly ended up with him..?  Harry was absolutely disgusted by the mere thought of him, and in the memory that he had seen of Snape’s, it seemed that his Mother was as well, though not nearly to the extent that Harry was feeling.  How could he ever have been born in the first place?!  He supposed that his Mother might not have known, but that doesn’t change what kind of a person that James was.

Then Harry remembered what Lupin and Sirius had said to him the day that he had snuck into Umbridge’s office to use her fire to talk to them after he had seen Snape’s memory: _“She started going out with him in seventh year,”_ Lupin had said.  _“Once James had deflated his head a bit,”_ Sirius had continued. 

Harry thought for a moment and realized that this _must_ have happened while James and Snape were still in school…  Before their seventh year even.  So at the _same age_ that Harry was right now, James had been a RAPIST.  Harry couldn’t stand the fact that he was related to someone like that!  Harry could never even _imagine_ doing something like that to someone, and yet his _own father_ had done it.  He had done it to Snape, the man that Harry loved.  He had raped him and robbed him of his innocence, of his happiness, of his entire LIFE!!!

Harry felt nothing but hatred and disgust for the blood that flowed through his own veins.  How could he be related to such a man?  As Harry tried his best to calm the thrashing man in his arms, to no avail, of course, he shut his eyes and clenched his teeth.  He wasn’t entirely sure why, maybe to try and pretend like he had never heard what he had heard, like he didn’t really know what he now knew.  Or maybe to somehow will himself to no longer be related to such a man that would do this to the man that he loved…

Why did life have to be so unfair?!  How was it fair that both Snape and James had loved his mother Lily and yet James, the cruel, sadistic bully and rapist captured her heart, and not Snape?  How was it fair that such a kind man, because Harry had seen his kindness that night.  Seen him open up and show himself for who he truly was, a kind, gentle man worthy of all of the love in the world.  How was it fair that his love was rejected and that the woman that he had loved had ended up with the man who had tortured him for years and even raped him?!  How was that fair?!?!  How was it fair that James got to live the remainder of his life happily while Severus still to this day was in pain and tortured by James in his dreams???  How is any of that fair..?

Harry wished that he could go back in time and stop it from ever happening…  He wished that he could go back in time and save the man he loved from a lifetime of pain.  But he couldn’t…  No matter how much he wanted to…  He could do nothing to change what had happened more than twenty years ago…  Harry felt as though it was somehow his fault.  Like he was to blame for this because it was his own father who had done it.  Harry felt that Snape was right in exacting his revenge like he did, but he felt bad knowing that he had ruined it for him by having feelings towards him and enjoying it.  He had turned Snape’s revenge into something awkward and made him feel guilty for it…

Harry hated himself for even existing.  He was the very personification of all of the pain in Snape’s life…  The son of the man who had tortured and raped him and the woman he loved who had chosen his rapist over him and then died…  Harry felt that he didn’t deserve to even have been born.  He _especially_ didn’t deserve to love Snape or for him to show him any kind of respect at all, never mind the great kindness that he had shown him the night before…

Harry had finally come to a decision.  The entire night he had been going back and forth, unsure of what action to take about his feelings for Snape.  Should he leave him alone?  Should he just be his friend?  Should he maybe, possibly hope for something more..?  With how Snape had been treating him, it had been difficult to even consider the first option; the one that he now knew was the right one.  He had to leave Snape alone…

It pained him deep in the bottom of his soul to even consider it.  But he had to think of more than just himself.  If he really, truly loved Snape, then he should be able to do this for him.  He should be able to leave him alone and do his very best to forget about him and move on.  He would not put Snape through having to look into the face that was practically a clone of his rapist ever again, if he could help it.  He would quit Potions, stop eating in the Great Hall and do his very best to ensure that although living in the same castle, Snape would never have to see him again.

Harry’s entire being practically begged for him to change his mind, but he wouldn’t.  He couldn’t.  No matter how much it hurt him, he had to leave Snape alone.  He had to accept this; it wasn’t as though they ever would have worked out anyway…  And as Harry cried while at the same time trying to calm Snape’s thrashing a single tear fell from Harry’s face onto Snape’s.

Not even a second later, Snape’s eyes snapped open.  He saw Harry and then jumped off the bed and moved as far away from him as he could.  Then with fear in his now wide eyes, Snape said,

“Please leave me alone Potter!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your wonderful comments on the last chapter :) because of them, I've posted a little earlier :)
> 
> So, what did you think of this chapter? What do you think of Harry's new opinion of his father?? What do you think of Harry's decision to leave Snape alone forever??? Do you think he'll be able to actually do it???? And what do you think of what Snape said when he woke up?????
> 
> Please leave a comment below sharing your thoughts, feelings, questions etc. I always answer every comment posted :) I would really love to hear from you :)


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tale of misunderstanding and revenge, going back 22 years. James Potter, the rapist of Severus Snape and Snape of James’ son Harry, though the boy loves him and wished for such feelings to bloom in him as well. His dear friend Hermione fretted that perhaps this act was in serial, but Harry reassured her and promised to discover if it was. Hermione and Ron Weasley have confessed their feelings to one another and love has begun to bloom. Meanwhile, Harry has discovered his beloved’s love for his own mother and vows to leave Snape alone so as not to torture him. But Snape convinces him to stay and they spend the night together. However, when Harry awakens Snape is having a nightmare and through his sleep-talk Harry discovers that Snape was raped by his own father! Harry hates his father with all that he is and is consumed with anger until Severus awakes from his nightmare and confuses Harry for James, backing away from him in fright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains talk of rape, hatred, misplaced guilt, misunderstanding, emotional drama and emotional detatcment.

“Please leave me alone Potter!” Harry was shocked for a moment; he didn’t know how to react to this.  He knew that Snape was talking about James and not him, but should he try to tell Snape that or should he just leave..?

Then, seeing the fear in his professor’s eyes once more, he decided that he would try to calm him before leaving him alone forever.  Harry stood up from the bed and knelt down next to Snape, who then shifted away from him.

“Snape, it’s okay.” he said, doing his best to keep his voice even and calming despite how shaky he truly felt. “I’m not him, it’s okay.” However, that didn’t seem to work as the look of pure fear had not left his eyes.  But regardless, he tried again,

“Snape, you’re okay.  That horrible man isn’t here.  I’m not him.” However, that also didn’t work…  Snape clearly wasn’t in a right state of mind, but Harry didn’t know how to snap him out of it.  But then, Harry got an idea.  It worked when _he_ woke up from nightmares, so maybe it would work for Snape.  Harry looked straight into his eyes and said

“S-Severus,” it felt strange to call him by his first name outside of his dreams…  Yet somehow it also felt… right.  No, he couldn’t be thinking of that.  Not now, not ever again. “Severus, James isn’t here.  I’m not him, I’m Harry.” his words had the intended effect.  Snape blinked a couple times before the fear began to fade away and was replaced by understanding.

“I-I’m sorry, Potter.” He said finally, a very faint blush appearing on his sallow cheeks.  Despite Harry’s conviction, he couldn’t help but think that it was kind of cute…

“Don’t be sorry, Professor.” Harry answered, no longer being able to look at the man, knowing what he had to do next, he looked at the ground. “I’m sorry that I reminded you of him.  That I must remind you of him every time you see me…  That I remind you of what he did to you…”

Severus was not expecting this…  Did Potter know..?  How could he know..? 

“P-Potter –” Snape began before being interrupted.

“Don’t call me that!  I know why you hate him so much now…” Severus’ heart skipped multiple beats at those words.  The boy knew now.  He knew what had happened to him all those years ago…  He was the first person to ever know…  Severus felt as though he was being cut open and dissected.  Potter knew his greatest secret now…  Being open with the boy had felt sort of good before, but he didn’t like this kind of openness.  He didn’t like Potter knowing this.  He felt ashamed.  Guilty and ashamed, he had never wanted anyone to know and now Potter knew…  For some reason, Severus felt like he was the worst person who could possibly ever know…  He had made Severus happy… an emotion that he hadn’t known for over twenty years… and now Potter knew and now he would be disgusted by him and hate him, and for some reason, Severus didn’t want the boy to think of him in that way…

“I won’t torture you with my presence any longer.” the boy said, shocking Severus immensely. “I won’t force you to look at a face that looks so much like that monster’s.  Or force you to look into the eyes of your dead love.” Severus was speechless.  He didn’t know what to say to this.  Yes, the way the boy looked had always tortured Severus, ever since his first day at Hogwarts, but Severus couldn’t help but feel that things were different now.  Something had changed that had made it different, made him actually want the boy around.  Though he couldn’t tell what…

“You will never have to see me again.” then Potter stood up and began to walk away, first bending down to pick up his invisibility cloak, which had been carelessly left on the ground from the night before.  Potter walked through the curtains surrounding the Hospital bed and out of Severus’ view.  Everything inside of Severus screamed for him to come back.  But his mouth didn’t seem to be working properly, so he said nothing.  He had just sat there silent on the floor as the only person who had made him happy in 22 years, just walked away… 

As Harry walked out of the Hospital Wing he refused to let any tears fall.  He had cried enough already, hadn’t he?  Very, very unmanly of him, it was.  But he refused to cry anymore, especially not over a decision that he had made himself.  One that he must live by for the rest of his life.  The prospect of it filled him with dread.  But he would not let that show on his face.  He needed to be strong in order to move on.  He needed to start acting like the Gryffindor that he was. 

*

Meanwhile, down in the Gryffindor Common Room, Ron and Hermione were trying their best to study.  They weren’t having very much luck though, as Harry had gone missing after dinner the day before.  Hermione knew that he had gone to check on Snape, but it worried her that he hadn’t come back the entire night.  Ron on the other hand, didn’t even know about Snape at all.  That was the one last secret that the two of them were still keeping from him.  So Ron had no idea at all where Harry had gone, just that he had said that there was something that he had to do and then he never came back.

There was less than an hour now before classes started, so where could he be?  Just as the two of them were thinking this, however, Harry suddenly appeared in front of them, causing the two of them to jump in shock.

“Bloody hell, Harry!” Ron said in shock “Give me a bloody heart attack, why don’t you?  How long were you standing there for?”

“Just a second to make sure that no one else was around when I took the cloak off.” Harry said. 

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.  He was acting normal enough to fool Ron, but not her.  There was something going on with him.  He was acting _too_ normal.  Something had happened.  And the only things that affected him this much were things to do with Professor Snape.  She would have to get to the bottom of this, but it would have to be after Ron wasn’t there, as he still didn’t know about Harry and Professor Snape.

Harry noticed Hermione’s narrowed stare and knew that there would be questions to follow it soon.  Questions that he really didn’t want to answer…  But he pretended like he didn’t notice it and he would continue to do that until he was forced to acknowledge it. 

“Where were you last night?” Ron asked expectedly.

“I was in the library studying under my invisibility cloak and I fell asleep.” Harry answered with the lie he had come up with on his way here. “Sorry that I worried you.” Harry added at the end, with a small apologetic smile.  He knew that only Ron bought both the lie and the smile, but that was all he needed for now.  He knew that Hermione wouldn’t question him so long as Ron believed him and he was here.

Then he sat down with the two of them and joined them in their studying, which went by much smoother now that Harry was there and they weren’t worried.  Ron was really behind on his studying, unlike Harry and Hermione who knew nearly all of it off by heart now from all of their studying. 

They studied for a few more minutes before Ron said that he was hungry.  Hermione and Ron then headed down to the Great Hall while Harry said that he wasn’t hungry and had to get his stuff ready.  Hermione looked like she was going to say something until Ron nervously put his arm around her shoulders, making her blush and clearly taking her mind off of Harry.  He then started leading her out of the Common Room, which Harry was grateful for.  He loved Hermione like a sister, but he just wasn’t in the mood for one of her lectures right now.

After Harry had gathered together his stuff, he decided that it would be best if he ate something.  So even though he really didn’t want to eat, he went to the kitchens and tried to eat just a little bit.  That was the kind of thing that you have to do to stay alive.  Since his emotions were out of commission right now, Harry had to rely on his mind to guide him instead.  Because if he let his emotions take the wheel then he knew that he would end up right back in front of Severus Snape once again.  And that was somewhere that he could never go, ever again. 

Harry then went to his first period class.  And even though he had double Defense Against the Dark Arts with the insufferable toad, and even though she tried to push his buttons, Harry didn’t react at all.  His mind was in control for once, and Harry had to admit, he kind of liked it better that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments in the last chapter, I really appreciated them and once again I've posted a little earlier than I otherwise would have. So thank you very much :)
> 
> So, what did you think of this chapter? What do you think of Harry's decision to leave Snape alone?? What do you think of how Snape reacted to it??? How he felt about it???? And what do you think of Harry's mental and emotional condition now because of this?????
> 
> Please leave a comment below with any questions, thoughts, feelings, etc. that you would like to share :) I always reply to every comment no matter what :) and I would absolutely LOVE to hear what you have to say :) your feedback means a lot to me :)


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tale of misunderstanding and revenge, going back 22 years. James Potter, the rapist of Severus Snape and Snape of James’ son Harry, though the boy loves him and wished for such feelings to bloom in him as well. His dear friend Hermione fretted that perhaps this act was in serial, but Harry reassured her and promised to discover if it was. Hermione and Ron Weasley have confessed their feelings to one another and love has begun to bloom. Meanwhile, Harry has discovered his beloved’s terrible past with his father and his love for his own mother. And has vowed to leave Snape alone, so as not to torture him, but Snape did not want to be left alone, for reasons he cannot comprehend…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains emotional detachment and (some) emotional drama.

Hermione knew that there was something very, very wrong with Harry.  He had never acted this way before…  Although it was good that he hadn’t yelled back at Umbridge when she had ridiculed him again, it worried her that he hadn’t reacted at all.  It just wasn’t like him…  Not like him at all.

She wanted to ask Harry what it was that had happened between him and Professor Snape last night, but she couldn’t do that while Ron was there.  Though she enjoyed his company immensely, so she didn’t want to tell him to just leave…  But she needed to talk to Harry at some point and that meant getting away from Ron…  

At lunch that day she was provided with such an opportunity… She and Ron were in the Great Hall by themselves as Harry had once again made an excuse not to come to lunch.  Just out of curiosity Hermione looked up at the Staff Table and looked at Professor Snape, who had now returned from the Hospital Wing.  His face was just as distasteful as always; maybe even a little more so.  But what interested Hermione were his eyes; they were darting this way and that as if he was looking for something.  Or someone.  Maybe there was more to their grumpy Potion’s Master than met the eye.  After all, there must be a _reason_ that he’s grumpy all the time…

As Hermione’s brain worked through theories and possibilities, Angelina Johnson, the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain came up to where she and Ron were sitting.

“Ron,” she said “We’re having an extra Quidditch Practice today during dinner.  We need to prepare for the match tomorrow.” Ron nodded, if a little nervously.  “Good,” she said “And you had better be there.  You need the practice.” then she walked away.  Angelina wasn’t as bad as the Gryffindor girls in her own year, but she wasn’t entirely pleasant either.  Hermione didn’t understand why being a Gryffindor girl meant you had to be stuck up and pompous.  Harry and Ron were all right, as were some of the other Gryffindor boys.  Why was it that all of the girls were completely unbearable..?  The only exception that she could think of was Ginny, but even _she_ had her moments.  Maybe that’s just how all Gryffindor girls acted.  Maybe she would have been better suited where the Sorting Hat had wanted to put her… in Ravenclaw.

But never mind that for now, she should be focused on the present.  There was now an opportunity to talk to Harry about what had happened last night.  Hermione smiled internally while she tried to cheer Ron up who was very down now that he had been reminded of tomorrow’s Quidditch Match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.  Hermione didn’t really care too much for Quidditch, but she was hoping that Gryffindor would win.  That would boost Ron’s spirits for sure.  It would also be a slap in the face to that whiny little brat of a girl, Cho Chang, as she was the Ravenclaw Seeker. 

*

After their afternoon classes and it was time for dinner, Hermione said goodbye to Ron as he was dragged away by his sister Ginny, while trying to stuff as much food into his mouth as possible.  Hermione had once found this habit of Ron’s absolutely disgusting, but now she had come to find it rather adorable…

After Ron had been taken away by the smaller redhead, Hermione left the Great Hall in search of Harry.  Luckily enough, the first place she looked was where she found him; in Gryffindor tower, in the boys Dormitory.  As the room was deserted due to dinner taking place, Harry and Hermione were completely alone.  A perfect atmosphere for the kind of questions she wanted to ask.  When Hermione walked into the room, Harry’s head snapped up from the book he was studying from.  His face was blank but his eyes told a different story.  There was fear there.  Whatever had happened, he really didn’t want to tell her.  She just couldn’t understand why, they had told each other everything for years, why would he keep quiet now..?

“Hey Hermione.” he said, cheerfully enough. “How come you’re not down in the Great Hall with Ron?”

“Quidditch Practice before the game tomorrow.” Harry’s eyes widened a little.  This thing with Snape all week had even made _Harry_ forget about _Quidditch_. “And you know why I’m here Harry.”

“No, I’m afraid I don’t know why you’re here, Hermione.” Harry replied, the picture of innocence.  But she knew better.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Harry Potter.  I know you too well to be fooled by this little act you’re putting on.”

“What act?” Harry replied, turning back to his book.

“This, what you’re doing!” Hermione said exasperatedly. “Don’t play me for a fool Harry, I can see right through you.  What happened last night with you and Professor Snape?” Harry tensed for a moment before replying,

“Absolutely nothing, I just went to check on him, he was fine, but asleep, so I left to do some studying and then I fell asleep in the library like I told you and Ron before.”

“Rubbish.” Hermione said, narrowing her eyes pointedly in his direction. “What happened?  Did you spend the night with Snape?” Harry tensed once more, letting her know that she was right. “Did you two..?”

“No, Hermione.  We didn’t do anything like that.” Harry said with a sigh and finally putting down his book.  He knew that he wouldn’t be able to lie to her, but he couldn’t exactly tell her the truth either…

“Well, what happened then?  And why won’t you tell me??”

“Because it’s not my place to be telling people those things!” Harry practically yelled at her.  From this single statement, Hermione figured out a lot of things: 1. There was more than one thing, 2. They were Snape’s secrets so of course Harry felt obligated to keep them, 3. Those secrets about Snape were the reasons why he was acting like this, 4. He’s been trying to hide his emotions so he won’t have to feel how those secrets make him feel, 5. He really does want to talk, he just doesn’t want to betray Snape’s trust. 

“So they’re Professor Snape’s to tell then, are they?” Hermione said simply.  She smiled internally as Harry’s eyes widened at her statement.  She loved shocking people like this, not that she would ever say it, but it was truly quite fun.  Harry sighed and then said,

“Yes… this is why, you understand, that I can’t tell you.”

“What if I guess it?” Hermione asked, “Will you tell me if I’m right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for all of your wonderful comments in the last chapter and those before it :) This inspired me to write faster, so I'm posting this chapter quite a bit earlier :) Thank you very, very much :)
> 
> So, what did you think of this chapter? What do you think of the upcoming Quidditch match?? What did you think of Hermione's plan to get Harry alone??? What do you think of Hermione questioning Harry to find out the truth about what happened, do you want her to find out or no???? And what do you think of this showing of Hermione's superior mind and deduction capabilities????? 
> 
> Please leave a comment down below for any thoughts, feelings or questions that you would like to share :) I will always reply to all comments no matter what :) And I would positively LOVE to hear from you :) What you have to say really means a lot to me :)


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tale of misunderstanding and revenge, going back 22 years. James Potter, the rapist of Severus Snape and Snape of James’ son Harry, though the boy loves him and wished for such feelings to bloom in him as well. His dear friend Hermione fretted that perhaps this act was in serial, but Harry reassured her and promised to discover if it was. Hermione and Ron Weasley have confessed their feelings to one another and love has begun to bloom. Meanwhile, Harry has discovered his beloved’s terrible past with his father and his love for his own mother. And has vowed to leave Snape alone so as not to torture him, even though being away from him is hurting Harry. Hermione noticed that something is wrong and decides to question Harry to figure out what it is… Whether Harry wants to tell her or not!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains emotional drama, hatred and talk of rape.

“What if I guess it?” Hermione asked, “Will you tell me if I’m right?”

“No!” Harry said “Can’t you just leave it alone Hermione?”

“No I can’t Harry.” Hermione replied stubbornly. “Once I know then you’ll be able to talk to me about it.  And if I guess then you won’t have betrayed Snape’s trust.”

“Still Hermione, it’s not something that you should know –”

“Is he in love with someone else?” Hermione asked as soon as the question popped into her head.  If it upset Harry this much then it could be a possibility.  Harry tensed for the third time, telling her that she was right. “Who is it?” Hermione said a little more softly.  If Ron had been in love with someone else, she didn’t know what she would do…

“It doesn’t matter Hermione.” Harry said, upset with himself for having revealed that much…

“Is it someone that you know?” Hermione pressed on.

“…Sort of…” Harry answered.  He didn’t want to but he knew that she would be able to tell if he lied anyways. 

Hermione thought about this for a moment.  If it was someone that he sort of knew, could it mean that he didn’t know them well but he knew them still?  Or maybe that he didn’t know them at all but he knew _of_ them?  Not having enough facts, Hermione asked,

“Are they someone close to you?” Once again, Harry replied with a vague “sort of”.  Could that mean that again he knew them but not very well?  No, then he wouldn’t be sort of _close_ to them…  Could they be someone that perhaps he _should_ have been close to?

“…Are they dead?” she asked.  Harry flinched, letting her know that she was right.  This lowered it down to two people.  Two people who should have been close to Harry if they weren’t dead.  There was just one more question that she had to ask.

“Were they male or female?” Harry didn’t answer for a moment.  He didn’t know if he should answer or not.  He saw understanding in his friend’s eyes and this was clearly the last piece she needed.  Though Harry had no idea how she had managed to figure it out…  But he knew that if he didn’t answer that she would find another way to ask the question and his own body would betray him by answering for him.  So reluctantly, he answered

“…Female…” Hermione put her hand over her mouth and then said quietly

“He’s in love with your mother, isn’t he?” Harry didn’t answer but instead looked down and sighed.  He knew that it was all the confirmation that Hermione needed…

“Oh Harry, I’m so sorry…” the man that Harry loved was in love with his own dead mother…  Hermione wondered for a moment how Harry had figured that out in the first place… but then she decided that it wasn’t important.

“It’s fine.” Harry said emotionlessly. “I just have to move on and let him go.”

“Harry, him being in love with someone who died 14 years ago, isn’t a good reason to give up on him.  You could be the person who helps him to move on.  His love isn’t healthy, Harry.” Hermione said.  She just couldn’t understand why he would give up if the person that Snape loved was _dead_.  Yes, maybe it was a little strange that it was his own mother, but in the wizarding world, everyone is connected to everybody _somehow_.

Then Hermione thought for a moment and remembered that there was more than one thing that was bothering Harry.  She didn’t think it likely that it would be more than two, so she said,

“What’s the other reason?” Harry grit his teeth and Hermione could almost _feel_ him getting angry.

“I _especially_ can’t tell you that Hermione.” he said through clenched teeth.  So this was worse than the last thing, by a longshot too.  While the first thing seemed to just make him sad, this one infuriated him.  Not wanting to start completely at square one, Hermione decided to see if it was in any way connected to the first one.  So she asked,

“Does it have anything to do with your parents?” Harry didn’t flinch this time, but his eyes got darker, harder.  It was almost scary to look at…

“Does it have to do with your Father this –?”

“MY FATHER WAS A MONSTER!!!” Harry shouted.  He had not meant to, but he just couldn’t contain himself anymore.  He knew that he had probably given Hermione more hints than she needed, but for a split second, he didn’t care.  It felt good to get that out.

But when Harry looked at Hermione, he could practically see the gears in her brilliant mind turning.  He knew that in just a couple more questions, she would know all of Snape’s deepest darkest secrets that he had meant to bring to the grave…  He was ashamed of himself.  He was ashamed of his emotions.  He was ashamed of his own body for revealing things that he was supposed to never tell anyone…

Harry was right; the gears in Hermione’s brain _were_ turning.  She had managed to get out of him why he no longer had Occlumency with Snape quite a few weeks ago.  He had delved into a memory that showed his Father being extremely cruel to Snape.  He had hated his Father’s treatment of Snape, but not once had he shown this kind of rage or called him a Monster.  She had a theory, but she didn’t want to believe it to be true…  But she asked the question anyway.

“…Does it have anything to do with what happened between you and Snape on Monday..?” Harry’s eyes grew darker once again, and Hermione knew…

“…Harry… did your Father… did he… _rape_ , Professor Snape..?” Harry didn’t reply.  But he didn’t have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of this chapter? What did you think of Hermione's brilliant mind for figuring all of that out?? And what do you think will happen next now that Hermione knows everything???
> 
> Please leave a comment below sharing your thoughts, feelings, questions reactions or anything else! I reply to every comment no matter what and I would love to hear from you :) Your comments really mean a lot to me :)
> 
> Thank you :)


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tale of misunderstanding and revenge, going back 22 years. James Potter, the rapist of Severus Snape and Snape of James’ son Harry, though the boy loves him and wished for such feelings to bloom in him as well. His dear friend Hermione fretted that perhaps this act was in serial, but Harry reassured her and promised to discover if it was. Hermione and Ron Weasley have confessed their feelings to one another and love has begun to bloom. Meanwhile, Harry has discovered his beloved’s terrible past with his father and his love for his own mother. And has vowed to leave Snape alone so as not to torture him, even though being away from him is hurting Harry. Hermione notices that something is bothering Harry and questioned him until she figured both things out…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains slight emotional drama and talk of abuse.

Hermione understood now why Harry was acting like this and why he had decided to let Snape go…  It was because he didn't want to be a reminder to him of the worst parts of his life.  Being the son of the woman he had loved unrequitedly and the man who had raped him…  Why was it that Harry’s life must always lead him to tragedy..? 

His parents died when he was only a year old.  He was then sent to go live with an abusive family, something which angered Hermione _greatly_.  She had wanted to do something, but Harry denied it every time she brought it up.  All of the signs were there.  Malnutrition, his behaviour and the way that he always blamed himself for everything, how he was so willing to just risk his life sometimes for people that he hardly even _knew_ , the bruises that she had seen on him before they healed themselves, likely with help from Harry’s magic, Ron had even told her that in Second year, he and the Twins had found him half-starved with _bars_ on his window!  If that didn’t scream abuse then she didn’t know _what_ did.  All of the signs of an abusive upbringing were there, but if Harry wouldn’t come forward about it, then there was nothing that she could do…

There was that and then when he comes to Hogwarts, the one place that he’s told her that he truly considers to be his home, every year his life is in danger time and time again!  And it’s not his fault either.  For some reason the most powerful Dark Lord for _hundreds of years_ was intent on killing a fifteen year old boy!  It didn’t make any sense to her why he would keep trying to kill him.  Yes, he had tried to kill him and then failed, but could Voldemort really be so O.C.D. that he would keep going after him again and again, just to tie up loose ends??  And then there was the Ministry now and their ridiculous propaganda about him…

So many bad things in Harry’s life, and now on top of everything else he’s in love with a man that he can’t be with for over a dozen different reasons!  How was it fair that Harry had to go through all of this..?  How was it fair that _this_ was his life??  And unlike her and Ron, he had no choice.  They could back out of this at any time they wanted to, but for Harry, there was no other choice.  Even if he tried to run from it all, he wouldn’t be able to escape it.  Things were coming at him from all sides; he had no safe place to go.  That’s why Hermione decided over a year ago that _she_ would be that safe place.  That she would be as much comfort to Harry as she could be, because really, he didn’t have it anywhere else…   

The two friends sat in silence for a few minutes, neither of them knowing what to say to the other.  Harry wanted to be angry with Hermione, but for some reason, he just couldn’t be.  It felt kind of… good that she had figured it all out…  He still felt horrible and like he had betrayed Snape’s trust, but it felt good for the person that he trusted the most to know what was upsetting him.  So after a few minutes of silence, Harry hugged his friend.  The one person that he knew he could count on to be there for him, no matter what…  Hermione hugged him back comfortingly.

“Thank you…” Harry said, though his voice cracked a little with the tears that he was trying his best not to shed.  Hadn’t he told himself that he was done crying..?

“You don’t have to thank me,” said Hermione, “This is what I’m here for.” They remained in their embrace until they heard the dorm room door open.  Immediately they jumped apart and looked to see Seamus and Dean walking into the room.

“Sorry to disturb you.” Dean said apologetically.  After they had gathered up the things that they had come for, Seamus said,

“You know, it’s no wonder that Weasley thought you two were together.  The way you go on with each other, anybody’d think it.  You’d be best to keep your hands off each other, that’s not how friends act.” Then he stormed out of the room saying, “Let’s go Dean.”

“Sorry about him.” Dean said, a faint blush tinting his dark skin “He tends to get a little uppity about these sorts of things.  Likes getting into other people’s business and all…”

“It’s alright.” said Harry, then after apologizing one more time on behalf of Seamus he hurried out of the dorm after his best friend.

“He does have a point, though.” said Harry, “I mean, I don’t want Ron feeling threatened that I’m moving in on his territory or something.”

“I am no one’s territory, Harry Potter!” she said playfully, “And besides, Ron knows now that he has nothing to worry about with you and me.”

“Yeah…” said Harry, “But still, I don’t want to cause any problems in your relationship or anything…”

“Well…” said Hermione awkwardly “We don’t exactly have a _relationship_ quite yet…  We haven’t really talked much about what happened yesterday…”

“Well, that’s what you have to do next then.” said Harry with a smile.

“But it’s just so embarrassing!” said Hermione as she hid her blushing face in her hands.

“Why?” Harry asked, “You like him, he likes you, now make with the boyfriend-girlfriend already!”

“Alright…” said Hermione, “I will, soon.  But, I don’t know…  I kind of want to take things slowly, you know?” Harry smiled.

“I completely understand,” he said, “But take things too slowly and your little spark might just fizzle out.”

“I know…” said Hermione.

“But don’t worry.” said Harry, “You two are practically meant for each other, I can just feel it!  You’ll work out fine.” Hermione smiled and then the two of them got up to go see if Ron’s practice was over yet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your wonderful comments in the last chapter, due to your feedback I was prompted to write a little bit faster so I'm posting couple days earlier :) 
> 
> Also, I understand from the comments that many people are hating on Hermione for her nosiness in the last chapter, but it IS in her character to be nosy and besides, Harry really needs someone right now. Though I agree that it was none of her business for her to find out what she did, there is a purpose for it. Anyway...
> 
> What did you think of this chapter? What do you think of Hermione's assessment of Harry's life?? What do you think about what Seamus said??? How do you think Ron and Hermione's not-quite-a-relationship will progress???? And what do you think will happen next between Harry and Snape?????


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tale of misunderstanding and revenge, going back 22 years. James Potter, the rapist of Severus Snape and Snape of James’ son Harry, though the boy loves him and wished for such feelings to bloom in him as well. His dear friend Hermione fretted that perhaps this act was in serial, but Harry reassured her and promised to discover if it was. Hermione and Ron Weasley have confessed their feelings to one another and love has begun to bloom. Meanwhile, Harry has discovered his beloved’s terrible past with his father and his love for his own mother. And has vowed to leave Snape alone so as not to torture him, even though being away from him is hurting Harry. Hermione noticed and questioned harry, now she knows everything. Meanwhile, the Quidditch final between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw is about to take place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains unwanted affections.

The next day was a Saturday, but more importantly, it was the day that Gryffindor would play Ravenclaw, the last match of the Quidditch season that would determine who won the cup.  Though the Gryffindors were not particularly enthusiastic about their chances of winning; due mainly to Ron’s skills (or lack thereof) when it came to  goal -keeping.  However, Ron seemed to have found a new source of optimism.

“I mean, I can't get any worse, can I?  Nothing to lose now, is there?” he said to Harry and Hermione as they left the Kitchens and began on their way to the Quidditch Pitch.  Harry had suggested that they go there for breakfast instead of the Great Hall.  With Hermione mumbling one last time under her breath, “ _Slave labour…_” as they left, Harry had expected another rant about S.P.E.W., but instead Hermione said to him while Ron was busy stuffing his face with the food that he had received from the elves.

“You know, I think Ron might do better without Fred and George around. They never exactly gave him a lot of confidence.” Harry agreed and hoped that Ron would do well this time around.  Either that or that Ginny would catch the snitch fast so that they wouldn’t have to hear any more of the Slytherin’s favourite song “Weasley is our King”.

They got to the pitch and then Ron told them goodbye as he hurried off to get changed into the appropriate robes.  Harry and Hermione found seats in the topmost row of the stands and then waited for Lee Jordan to begin the commentary.  Lee had not been his usual self since Fred and George had left the school and the introductions showed that.

“… Bradley… Davies… Chang…” Harry felt a certain amount of distaste when he heard that name.  The girl had practically stalked him for half the year!  Harry understood that she wasn’t in a right place in her head because her boyfriend had died the year before, but there was only so much that he could excuse! 

Yes, he had asked her to the Yule Ball last year and of course that would give implications that he had liked her.  He hadn’t though.  He had only asked her because he knew that he had to ask _somebody_ as he was one of the champions, and he knew that he would never be able to take a guy, not to mention the fact that the guy he had liked at the time was Ron’s now 30 year old brother Bill who was long out of Hogwarts.  And Cho was fairly pretty and she was also a seeker in Quidditch so they would have something to talk about.  Also, he had just happened to come across her alone in the Owlery when he had gone to send a letter to Sirius.

He ran into her a few times at the beginning of that year, and though the circumstances were not exactly flattering, he tried his best to be nice to her, as she had just gone through a loss.  He didn’t see anything wrong with this until Hermione pointed out to him that Cho was falling for him.  He immediately began to avoid her, not wanting to have to deal with breaking the girl’s heart and hoping that she would lose interest in time.  She didn’t, however.  She finally managed to talk to him shortly before he, Hermione and Ron started up Dumbledore’s Army.

In tears in the middle of the Great Hall, she had demanded that Harry tell her why he was avoiding her.  Harry denied her claim, not wanting to have to bring up the fact that she liked him at all, to spare some ounce of her dignity.  However, she continued to press on until eventually in frustration she had confessed her feelings to Harry.  He had felt bad afterwards, but he had replied with a simple “ _I’m sorry Cho, but I don’t feel the same way._” Then he had walked away from her not wanting to cause any more of a scene. 

She had then joined Dumbledore’s Army and acted as though Harry had never told her that he wasn’t interested.  It annoyed him greatly, but he had agreed to teach everyone who wanted to be taught, so he let it go.  Until of course their last practice before the Christmas Holidays when Cho had started crying once everyone else had left.  Forgetting about her past behaviour and wanting to comfort her, Harry had tried to cheer her up and tell her a little about how Cedric had died.  Then, out of nowhere she had kissed him!  Just right out kissed him!  And that was Harry’s first kiss too, and it was _wasted_ on her.

Afterwards, she had blamed the mistletoe that was above them.  Harry had then gotten very angry with her and told her to never come near him again.  Infuriated, he had then told Ron and Hermione what had happened.  Hermione was just as angry with her, while Ron couldn’t understand why Harry wasn’t interested.  After that kiss, however, Cho did not do what Harry had asked her to.  She didn’t leave him alone at all.  In fact, she seemed to have gotten it into her head that because they had kissed that they were now dating.  Harry didn’t want to embarrass her in front of the other members of the DA, so he didn’t say anything to her during the sessions that she continued coming to even though he had told her to never come near him again.  But he kept his distance.  He never wanted to be even merely looked at by her again.  She repulsed him. 

Things got really bad on Valentine’s day when he was going to give an interview, per Hermione’s request, of what had happened at the end of his fourth year.  She had followed him around, accused him of skipping their “date”, if by date she meant her yelling across the Room of Requirement at him to spend Valentine’s day with her and him sending back a resounding “No!”  Then she proceeded to accuse him of “cheating” on her with Hermione and then on a later day she accused him of “cheating” with Ginny.  He was quite aware that Ginny had a crush on him; she had since she was 10.  But it seemed as though she was finally getting over him, as she had been dating Michael Corner for about a year now, to his great relief.  And Ginny, unlike Cho, did not ever stalk him.

Things continued this way until Cho’s friend ratted them out to Umbridge and the DA was disbanded.  There was at least a silver lining to this because it meant that he wouldn’t have to see Cho again.  She still tried to talk and flirt with him sometimes, but he had a much easier time of avoiding her now that he wasn’t forced to see her every week.  The last time that he had talked to her, he had told her as sincerely as he could that he thought that she should talk to a professional about her grief over Cedric and her obsession with him.

Harry’s thoughts were then interrupted by the groaning of all of the Gryffindors around him and the Slytherin’s singing:

“Weasley cannot save a thing,

He cannot block a single ring…” Harry could guess what had happened while he had been lost in his thoughts.  Ron had let in a goal.  It didn’t seem like Ron’s optimism nor had the fact that Fred and George were gone done him any good…  Then Harry heard a hoarse voice from just behind him and Hermione, say

“Harry… Hermione…” Harry turned his head to face the voice and saw Hagrid’s enormous bearded face sticking between the seats.  He had apparently squeezed his way all along the row behind them and the first and second years that he had passed looked rather ruffled and flattened.  For some reason Hagrid was bent double as though he was trying not to be seen, even though he was at least four feet taller than everyone else around them.

“Listen,” he whispered hoarsely, “Can yeh come with me?  Now?  While ev’ryone’s watchin’ the match?”

“Er… can't it wait, till the match is over Hagrid?” Harry asked, not wanting to miss his best friend’s game.  Hermione nodded in agreement, but Hagrid replied anxiously

“No.  No, Harry, it's gotta be now… while ev’ryone’s lookin’ the other way… please?” Harry took a closer look at Hagrid and saw that his nose was dripping blood and both of his eyes were blackened.  Hagrid had been getting injuries all year and seeing Hagrid in this state upset him, so reluctantly Harry agreed.  And then the two of them followed Hagrid away from the Quidditch Pitch and towards his cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really, really sorry that it's taken so long for me to update this story!! Real life's kinda been getting in the way of my writing... I've just been though a rather bad breakup with my boyfriend of a year and a half and it kinda took a toll on me. But I didn't realize how long it had been since I updated... so sorry about that, but I hope that your liked this chapter :) and I'll be updating once a week like usual from now on hopefully :) so, sorry for keeping you waiting for so long.
> 
> Anyway, what did you think of this chapter? What do you think of Cho stalking Harry all throughout the year?? And what do you think will happen next with Hagrid???


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tale of misunderstanding and revenge, going back 22 years. James Potter, the rapist of Severus Snape and Snape of James’ son Harry, though the boy loves him and wished for such feelings to bloom in him as well. His dear friend Hermione fretted that perhaps this act was in serial, but Harry reassured her and promised to discover if it was. Hermione and Ron Weasley have confessed their feelings to one another and love has begun to bloom. Meanwhile, Harry has discovered his beloved’s terrible past with his father and his love for his own mother. And has vowed to leave Snape alone so as not to torture him, even though being away from him is hurting Harry. Hermione noticed and questioned harry, now she knows everything. Meanwhile, during the Quidditch final between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, which Ron is in and seems to be doing poorly, Hagrid asks Harry and Hermione to follow him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains dialog that comes mostly from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

As it turned out, Hagrid was not leading them towards his cabin, but instead he leads them into the Forbidden Forest.  Harry and Hermione became more and more concerned the more time they spent with Hagrid.  He was speaking so secretively and seriously.  It just wasn’t like him at all.  Hagrid was also carrying a crossbow.

“Hagrid, why are you armed?” Harry asked.

“Jus’ a precaution,” Hagrid replied while shrugging his massive shoulders.

“You didn't bring your crossbow the day you showed us the Thestrals.” said Hermione nervously.

“Nah, well, we weren’ goin’ in so far then,” said Hagrid. “An’ anyway, tha’ was before Firenze left the Forest, wasn’ it?”

“Why does Firenze leaving make a difference?” Hermione asked, curiously.

“’Cause the other centaurs are good an’ riled at me, tha’s why.” Hagrid said quietly while glancing around.  “They used ter be – well, yeh couldn’ call ’em friendly – but we got on all righ’.  Kept ’emselves to ’emselves, bu’ always turned up if I wanted a word.  Not anymore.” Hagrid said with a sigh.

“Firenze said they're angry because he went to work for Dumbledore.” Harry said, as he remembered what his professor had said.  Then he nearly tripped over a protruding root, but Hermione grabbed him before he did, seeing the root before him.

“Yeah…” said Hagrid with another sigh “Well, angry doesn’ cover it.  Ruddy livid!  If I hadn’ stepped in, I reckon they’d’ve kicked Firenze ter death –”

“They attacked him?” Hermione said, sounding shocked.

“Yep,” said Hagrid gruffly, forcing his way through several low-hanging branches. “He had half the herd on to him.”

“And you stopped it?” said Harry, amazed and impressed. “By yourself?”

“Course I did, couldn’t stand by an’ watch ’em kill ’im, could I?' said Hagrid as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Lucky I was passin’, really… an’ I’d’ve thought Firenze mighta remembered tha’ before he started sendin’ me stupid warnin’s!” he added hotly and unexpectedly.

Harry and Hermione looked at each other, startled, but Hagrid, did not elaborate any farther on the subject.

“Anyway,” he said, breathing a little more heavily than usual. “Since then the other centaurs’ve bin livid with me, an’ the trouble is they've got a lot of influence in the Forest… cleverest creatures in here.” Hermione then asked if it was because of the centaurs that he had brought them to the forest, but Hagrid merely replied

“Ah, no,” shaking his head dismissively, “No, it's not them. Well, o’ course, they could complicate the problem, yeah… but yeh’ll see what I mean in a bit.” Then the little group fell silent as Hagrid led them deeper and deeper into the forest.  He even began leading them off the pathway, which Hagrid had always told them before to never leave…  It then became harder to follow Hagrid through the overgrown wildlife of the magical Forest what with the branches and thickets of thorn, which Hagrid marched through as easily as if they were cobwebs, but snagged on Harry and Hermione's robes, frequently entangling them so severely that they had to stop for minutes at a time to free themselves.

 Harry's arms and legs were soon covered in small cuts and scratches.  They were so deep in the Forest now that sometimes all Harry could see of Hagrid was a massive dark shape ahead of him.  Any sound that they heard seemed threatening in the muffled silence.  It then occurred to Harry that he had never gone this far into the forest without meeting some kind of creature.  Their absence worried him.  Hermione then asked if they could light their wands as she too was very unnerved by the dark forest around them.  Hagrid said that it would be a good idea and then he said that it was about time that he filled them in about why he had brought them here.  As they lit their wands and Hagrid began to speak, Harry had never seen him look so nervous and sad…

“Righ’,” said Hagrid. “Well… see… the thing is…” Hagrid took a deep breath and then said “Well, there’s a good chance I'm goin’ ter be getting’ the sack any day now…”

Harry and Hermione looked at each other, and then back at him

“But you've lasted this long –” Hermione said tentatively. “What makes you think –”

“Umbridge reckons it was me that put tha’ Niffler in her office.” Hagrid said sadly, interrupting Hermione.  The two teenagers remembered the fiasco when the shiny-seeking creature had somehow found its way into their new headmistress’ office.

“And was it?” said Harry, before he could stop his curiosity.

“No, it ruddy well wasn’!” said Hagrid indignantly. “On’y any-thin’ ter do with magical creatures an’ she thinks it's got somethin’ ter do with me.  Yeh know she's bin lookin’ fer a chance ter get rid of me ever since I got back.  I don’ wan' ter go, o’ course, but if it wasn’ fer… well… the special circumstances I’m abou’ ter explain to yeh, I’d leave righ’ now, before she’s go’ the chance ter do it in front o’ the whole school, like she did with Trelawney.” Harry and Hermione tried to argue with him but Hagrid silenced them with a wave of one of his enormous hands.

“It’s not the end o’ the world,” Hagrid said, trying to sound cheerful. “I’ll be able ter help Dumbledore once I'm outta here, I can be useful ter the Order.  ’Ear you lot’ll have Grubbly-Plank, yeh’ll – yeh’ll get through yer exams fine…” Then his voice trembled and broke.  “Don’ worry abou’ me,” he said quickly, as Hermione made to pat his arm.  He pulled his enormous spotted handkerchief from the pocket of his waistcoat and mopped his eyes with it. “Look, I wouldn’ be tellin’ yer this at all if I didn’ have ter.  See, if I go… well, I can' leave withou’… withou’ tellin’ someone… because I’ll – I’ll need yeh two ter help me.  An’ Ron, if he’s willin’.”

“Of course we’ll help you.” Harry said at once. “What do you want us to do?” Hagrid gave a great sniff and patted Harry wordlessly on the shoulder with such force Harry was knocked sideways into a tree.

“I knew yeh’d say yes,” said Hagrid into his handkerchief, “But I won’… never… forget… well… c’mon… jus’ a little bit further through here… watch yerselves now, there's nettles…”

They walked in silence for a few minutes until they came across a large, smooth mound of earth nearly as tall as Hagrid that Harry thought, with a jolt of dread, was sure to be the lair of some enormous animal. Trees had been ripped up at the roots all around the mound, so that it stood on a bare patch of ground surrounded by heaps of trunks and boughs that formed a kind of fence or barricade.

Hagrid said quietly that it was sleeping and sure enough, Harry could hear a distant, rhythmic rumbling that sounded like a pair of enormous lungs at work.  He glanced sideways at Hermione, who was gazing at the mound with her mouth slightly open. She looked utterly terrified.

“Hagrid,” she said in a whisper barely audible over the sound of the sleeping creature, “Who is he?” Harry thought that this was a rather odd question, a better one; he thought would be “ _What_ is it?”  Hermione’s wand was now shaking in her hand as she said

“Hagrid, you told us… you told us none of them wanted to come!” Harry gasped as he realized that what he had thought was a mound of earth was actually the curved back of what was clearly a giant!!

“Well – no – he didn’ want ter come,” said Hagrid, sounding desperate. “But I had ter bring him, Hermione, I had ter!”

“But why?” Asked Hermione; who sounded as though she wanted to cry. “Why – what – oh, Hagrid!”

“I knew if I jus’ got him back,” said Hagrid, sounding close to tears himself, “An’-an’ taught him a few manners, I’d be able ter take him outside an’ show ev’ryone he’s harmless!”

“Harmless!” said Hermione shrilly, “He's been hurting you all this time, hasn't he? That's why you've had all these injuries!”

“He don’ know his own strength!” said Hagrid earnestly. “An’ he's getting’ better, he’s not fightin’ so much anymore –”

“So, this is why it took you two months to get home!” said Hermione distractedly. “Oh, Hagrid, why did you bring him back if he didn't want to come?  Wouldn't he have been happier with his own people?”

“They were all bullyin’ him, Hermione, ’cause he’s so small!” said Hagrid.

“Small?” Hermione said in disbelief. “Small?!”

“Hermione, I couldn’ leave him,” said Hagrid, tears now trickling down his bruised face into his beard. “See, he’s my brother!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to say that the majority of this chapter's dialog is from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix chapter 30. And I know that doesn't necessarily make for the most exciting chapter as most people will have already read this or know what happened, but I had to include it. And I will be posting the following chapter very soon if I haven't already due to the fact that the dialog was mostly taken from the book so it was very quick and easy to write, also because I personally don't think it's very entertaining to read something basically taken from the book and I want to get through it quickly. There will be one more chapter like this after these two and then I will be back to MOST of it being original. So I hope that you appreciate the double post and don't get too bored with these chapters.
> 
> But please leave a comment bellow on what you think of my story in general, or about this chapter if you have any complaints or concerns or any other kind of comment to make :) I will answer any comment whether negative or positive, so please leave a comment bellow :)


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tale of misunderstanding and revenge, going back 22 years. James Potter, the rapist of Severus Snape and Snape of James’ son Harry, though the boy loves him and wished for such feelings to bloom in him as well. His dear friend Hermione fretted that perhaps this act was in serial, but Harry reassured her and promised to discover if it was. Hermione and Ron Weasley have confessed their feelings to one another and love has begun to bloom. Meanwhile, Harry has discovered his beloved’s terrible past with his father and his love for his own mother. And has vowed to leave Snape alone so as not to torture him, even though being away from him is hurting Harry. Hermione noticed and questioned harry, now she knows everything. Meanwhile, during the Quidditch final between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, which Ron is in and seems to be doing poorly, Hagrid asks Harry and Hermione to follow him into the forbidden forest. There they meet a giant who turns out to be Hagrid’s half-brother!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains dialog that comes mostly from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

“Hermione, I couldn’ leave him,” said Hagrid, tears now trickling down his bruised face into his beard. “See, he’s my brother!” Hermione just stared at him in shock, her mouth open.  Then Harry said slowly

“Hagrid, when you say ‘brother’, do you mean–?”

“Well, half-brother,” Hagrid corrected. “Turns out me mother took up with another giant when she left me dad, an’ she went an' had Grawp here–”

“Grawp?” Harry asked.

“Yeah… well, tha’s what it sounds like when he says his name,” said Hagrid anxiously. “He don' speak a lot of English…  I’ve bin tryin’ ter teach him… anyway, she don’ seem ter have liked him much more’n she liked me.  See, with giantesses, what counts is producin’ good big kids, and he's always been a bit on the runty side fer a giant – on’y sixteen foot –”

“Oh, yes, tiny!” said Hermione, with a kind of hysterical sarcasm. “Absolutely minuscule!”

Hagrid continued trying to defend himself for bringing Grawp home with him while Harry and Hermione continued to question him.  They found out that the reason why Madam Maxime had come home before him was because she didn’t want to put up with Grawp anymore after a while.  The reason why he has ropes thick as saplings around him was because “He doesn’ know ’is own strength”.  The reason why the trees around him were all uprooted _and_ why Harry hadn’t seen any creatures on their way there were both because of him.  Then Hermione asked worriedly

“So, what is it you want Harry, Ron and me to do?”

“Look after him.” Hagrid said croakily. “After I'm gone.”

Harry and Hermione exchanged miserable looks, Harry was uncomfortably aware that he had already promised Hagrid that he would do whatever he asked.

“What – what does that involve, exactly?” Hermione asked.

“Not food or anythin’!” said Hagrid eagerly. “He can get his own food, no problem.  Birds an’ deer an’ stuff… no, it’s company he needs.  If I jus’ knew someone was carryin’ on tryin’ ter help him a bit… teachin' him, yeh know…”

Harry said nothing, but turned to look back at the giant lying asleep on the ground that he, Hermione and Ron would have to practically babysit.  Unlike Hagrid, who looked like an oversized human, Grawp looked strangely misshapen.  His head was much larger in proportion to his body than a human’s, and was almost perfectly round and covered with tightly curling, close-growing hair the colour of bracken.  The rim of a single large, fleshy ear was visible on top of the head, which seemed to sit, rather like Uncle Vernon's, directly on the shoulders with little or no neck in between.

The back, under what looked like a dirty brownish smock made of animal skins sewn roughly together, was very broad; and as Grawp slept, it seemed to strain a little at the rough seams of the skins. The legs were curled up under the body.  Harry could see the soles of enormous, filthy, bare feet, large as sleighs, resting one on top of the other on the earthy Forest floor.

“You want us to teach him,” Harry said.

“Yeah – even if yeh jus’ talk ter him a bit.” said Hagrid hopefully. “’Cause I reckon, if he can talk ter people, he’ll understand more that we all like ’im really, an’ want ’im ter stay.”

Harry looked at Hermione, and said

“Kind of makes you wish we had Norbert back, doesn't it?” he said, and she gave a very shaky laugh.

“Yeh’ll do it, then?” said Hagrid, who did not seem to have caught what Harry had just said.

“We’ll…” said Harry, already bound by his promise. “We’ll try, Hagrid.”

“I knew I could count on yeh, Harry,” Hagrid said, beaming with tears in his beatle black eyes.

“An’ I don’ wan’ yeh ter put yerself out too much, like… I know yeh’ve got exams… if yeh could jus’ nip down here in yer Invisibility Cloak maybe once a week an’ have a little chat with ’im.  I’ll wake ’im up, then – introduce yeh –”

“Wha\- no!” said Hermione suddenly. “Hagrid, no, don’t wake him, really, we don’t need –” but Hagrid ignored her and proceeded to wake up his giant half-brother by poking hard in the back with a long bough.  The giant gave a great roar that echoed around the silent Forest.  The giant then stood up, to Harry and Hermione’s horror…

“All righ’, Grawpy?” said Hagrid, in a would-be cheery voice, while backing away with the long bough raised and ready to poke Grawp again. “Had a nice sleep, eh?” Harry and Hermione retreated as far away as they could while still keeping the giant in their sight.  After the giant had pulled up a couple trees and dropped a bird’s eggs on top of Hagrid, he then proceeded to introduce Harry and Hermione to him.

“This,” said Hagrid, hastening over to where Harry and Hermione stood, “Is Harry, Grawp!  Harry Potter!  He migh’ be comin’ ter visit yeh if I have ter go away, understand?” The giant only then realized that they were there and stared blearily at them.

“An’ this is Hermione, see? Her –” Hagrid hesitated.  Turning to Hermione, he said, “Would yeh mind if he called yeh Hermy, Hermione? On’y it's a difficult name fer him ter remember.”

“No, not at all,” squeaked Hermione, heart beating fast in terror and apprehension of what the giant might do next.

“This is Hermy, Grawp!” Hagrid said “An’ she’s gonna be comin’ an’ all!  Is’n’ tha’ nice?  Eh?  Two friends fer yeh ter – GRAWPY, NO!”

Grawp's hand then shot out of nowhere towards Hermione; Harry immediately seized her and pulled her backwards behind the tree, so that Grawp's fist scraped the trunk but closed on thin air.

“BAD BOY, GRAWPY!” they heard Hagrid yelling, as Hermione clung to Harry behind the tree, shaking and whimpering. “VERY BAD BOY!  YEH DON' GRAB - OUCH!” Harry looked out from behind the tree to see Hagrid on his back, hand over his nose which was now bleeding.  Grawp, who had seemingly now lost interest in his older half-brother, was now bending back a pine tree as far as it would go.

“Righ’,” said Hagrid, getting up with one hand pinching his bleeding nose and the other holding his crossbow, “Well… there yeh are… yeh’ve met him an’ – an’ now he’ll know yeh when yeh come back.  Yeah… well…” Hagrid looked back up at Grawp who seemed to be enjoying himself a little as he ripped the pine tree out of the ground. “Well, I reckon tha’s enough fer one day.  We’ll – ’er – we’ll go back now, shall we?” Harry and Hermione nodded quickly as Hagrid started leading them back out of the the dense trees of the Forbidden Forest.

Hermione was pale as ghost and still quite shaken from the encounter with the giant.  Harry was completely silent; he didn’t know what to say.  He knew that Hagrid had a habit of not seeing the danger in extremely dangerous creatures, but he actually expected himself, Ron and Hermione to continue his pointless mission to civilise and teach his giant half-brother English??  It was just ridiculous!

“Hold it,” said Hagrid abruptly as he pulled an arrow out of the quiver over his shoulder and fitted it into the crossbow.  Harry and Hermione raised their wands; now that they had stopped walking, they, too, could hear movement close by.

“Oh, blimey,” said Hagrid quietly.

“I thought we told you, Hagrid,” said a deep male voice, “That you are no longer welcome here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the horrible delay, especially when I promised to update quickly. There were some technical issues and then I just sort of... forgot. So, needless to say I'm going to update the last chapter of this sort ASAP. But in the meantime, please leave a comment of some sort or give kudos if you haven't already :) I really do appreciate all of your wonderful feedback :) honestly, it's what keeps this story going as much as it is :)


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tale of misunderstanding and revenge, going back 22 years. James Potter, the rapist of Severus Snape and Snape of James’ son Harry, though the boy loves him and wished for such feelings to bloom in him as well. His dear friend Hermione fretted that perhaps this act was in serial, but Harry reassured her and promised to discover if it was. Hermione and Ron Weasley have confessed their feelings to one another and love has begun to bloom. Meanwhile, Harry has discovered his beloved’s terrible past with his father and his love for his own mother. And has vowed to leave Snape alone so as not to torture him, even though being away from him is hurting Harry. Hermione noticed and questioned harry, now she knows everything. Meanwhile, during the Quidditch final between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, which Ron is in and seems to be doing poorly, Hagrid asks Harry and Hermione to follow him into the forbidden forest. There they meet a giant who turns out to be Hagrid’s half-brother and then on their way out run into a centaur who is none too happy to have Hagrid in the forest…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains dialog that comes mostly from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

“I thought we told you, Hagrid,” said a deep male voice, “That you are no longer welcome here?” the voice came from a Centaur whose hair and fur was a chestnut brown.

“How are yeh, Magorian?” said Hagrid warily.  Suddenly, behind Magorian there were another four or five centaurs.  Harry recognised the black-bodied, bearded one; Bane who he had met in his first year on the same night that he had met Firenze.  But Bane showed no sign of recognition towards Harry.

“So,” Bane said nastily, turning to Magorian. “We agreed, I think, what we would do if this human ever showed his face in the Forest again?”

“‘This human’ now, am I?” said Hagrid testily. “Jus’ fer stoppin’ all of yeh committin’ murder?!”   

“You ought not to have meddled, Hagrid,” said Magorian. “Our ways are not yours, nor are our laws.  Firenze has betrayed and dishonoured us.”

“I dunno how yeh work that out,' said Hagrid impatiently. “He’s done nothin’ except help Albus Dumbledore –”

“Firenze has entered into servitude to humans,” said a grey centaur with a hard, deeply lined face.

“Servitude!” said Hagrid scathingly. “He's doin’ Dumbledore a favour is all –”

“He is peddling our knowledge and secrets among humans,' said Magorian quietly. “There can be no return from such disgrace.”

“If yeh say so,” said Hagrid, shrugging, “But personally I think yeh’re makin’ a big mistake –”

“As are you, human,” said Bane, “Coming back into our Forest when we warned you –”

“Now, yeh listen ter me,” said Hagrid angrily. “I’ll have less of the ‘our’ Forest, if it’s all the same ter yeh.  It’s not up ter yeh who comes an’ goes in here –”

“No more is it up to you, Hagrid.” said Magorian smoothly. “I shall let you pass today because you are accompanied by your young –”

“They're not his!” interrupted Bane contemptuously. “Students, Magorian, from up at the school!  They have probably already profited from the traitor Firenze’s teachings.”

“Nevertheless,” said Magorian calmly, “The slaughter of foals is a terrible crime – we do not touch the innocent.  Today, Hagrid, you pass.  Henceforth, stay away from this place.  You forfeited the friendship of the centaurs when you helped the traitor Firenze escape us.”

“I won’ be kept outta the Fores’ by a bunch o’ old mules like yeh!” said Hagrid loudly.

“Hagrid!” said Hermione in a high-pitched and terrified voice, as both Bane and the grey centaur pawed at the ground, “Let’s go, please let’s just go!”  Hagrid moved to leave but his crossbow was still raised and his eyes were still fixed threateningly on Magorian.

“We know what you are keeping in the Forest, Hagrid!” Magorian called after them, as the centaurs slipped out of sight. “And our tolerance is waning!”

Hagrid turned and gave every appearance of wanting to walk straight back to Magorian.

“Yeh’ll tolerate ’im as long as he’s here; it’s as much his Forest as yours!” Hagrid yelled as Harry and Hermione tried their best to push him to keep him moving.  Then he looked down and his expression changed from anger to one of mild surprise, apparently he had not felt them pushing him.

“Calm down, you two,” he said, turning to walk on while they followed. “Ruddy old mules, though, eh?”

“Hagrid,” said Hermione breathlessly, “If the centaurs don't want humans in the Forest, it doesn't really look as though Harry and I will be able –”

“Ah, you heard what they said,” said Hagrid dismissively, “They wouldn't hurt foals – I mean, kids.  Anyway, we can’ let ourselves be pushed aroun’ by that lot.”

“Nice try...” Harry whispered to Hermione.  At last they rejoined the path and, after another ten minutes, the trees began to thin; they were able to see patches of clear blue sky again and, in the distance, the definite sounds of cheering and shouting.

“Was that another goal?” Hagrid asked as the Quidditch stadium came into view “Or d’yeh reckon the match is over?”

“I don't know,” said Hermione miserably.  Both her and Harry had twigs and leaves stuck in their hair, their robes were ripped in several places and there were numerous scratches all over their faces, arms and legs.

“I reckon it's over, yeh know!” said Hagrid, still squinting towards the stadium. “Look – there’s people comin’ out already – If yeh two hurry yeh’ll be able ter blend in with the crowd an’ no one’ll know yeh weren’t there!”

“Good idea,” said Harry. "Well… see you later then, Hagrid.” Once Hagrid was out of earshot Hermione said in a very unsteady voice.

“I don’t believe him, I really don’t believe him.”

“It’s alright.” said Harry comfortingly.

“Alright??” she said feverishly. “A giant!  A giant in the Forest!  And we’re supposed to give him English lessons!  Always assuming, of course, we can get past the herd of murderous centaurs on the way in and out!  I.  Don’t.  Believe.  Him!”

Well, it’s not like we have to do anything yet.” Harry said, trying to reassure her and calm her down. “He hasn’t asked us to do anything unless he gets chucked out, and that might not even happen!”

“Oh come off it, Harry!  Of course he will be; you know what Umbridge is like and how much she hates ‘half-breeds’!” she said with air quotes.  Harry sighed, knowing that she was right.  Then they heard singing just a little ways away from them now that they were closer to the stadium.

“Weasley is our King,

Weasley is our King,

He didn't let the Quaffle in, 

Weasley is our King…”

“And I wish they'd stop singing that stupid song,” said Hermione miserably, “Haven't they gloated enough?” The students singing the song were now moving towards them from the pitch.

“Oh, let's get in before we have to meet the Slytherins,” said Hermione.

“Weasley can save anything,

He never leaves a single ring,

That's why Gryffindors all sing:

Weasley is our King.”

“Hermione…” said Harry slowly once he recognized what words they were really singing.  But the song was growing louder, and it wasn’t coming from the green-and-silver-clad Slytherins but instead from a mass of red and gold moving slowly towards the castle, with a single figure upon their many shoulders.

“Weasley is our King,

Weasley is our King,

He didn't let the Quaffle in,

Weasley is our King…”

“No…” said Hermione in a hushed voice.

“YES!” shouted Harry loudly.

“HARRY!  HERMIONE!” yelled Ron from atop the mass of red and gold, waving the silver Quidditch cup in the air and looking quite beside himself. “WE DID IT!  WE WON!” They beamed up at him as he passed them towards the castle.  Ron's head got rather badly bumped on the door frame, but nobody seemed to want to put him down.  Still singing, the crowd squeezed itself into the Entrance Hall and out of sight.  Harry and Hermione watched them go, smiling happily for their best friend and (almost) boyfriend, until the last echoing strains of ‘Weasley is our King’ died away.  Then they turned to each other, their smiles fading.

 “We'll save our news till tomorrow, shall we?” Harry proposed.

“Yes, all right.” said Hermione wearily. “I’m not in any hurry to ruin his good mood.” the two of them climbed the steps together and then went into the Great Hall to celebrate Gryffindor’s victory with Ron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really, really sorry for the long wait for a chapter that I personally wanted to get over with quickly. I was having technical problems and then school got in the way and I hadn't even realized how long it had been since I updated. But I promise that I will be uploading every week like I did before from now on. Also, good news! :) this is the last chapter that is based directly from the book! Yayyyyyy :) I am personally happy about that as I'm not a fan of these rather unoriginal chapters. Of course, there will still occasionally be a line or two that comes from the books, but not another entirely book-based chapter. And I will try to not do chapters like this again.
> 
> So, please leave a comment bellow tell me what you think of this chapter, what you think of the centaurs, were they right in trying to kill Firenze for dishonoring them and now sharing their long protected secrets with humans? Was it wrong of Hagrid for meddling in their cultural practices? Or are the centaurs in the wrong here? Also, please tell me what you think of the story in general or any predictions that you have. 
> 
> Also, I'd really like to thank GoddessonmyKnees for commenting on the last two chapters despite how uninteresting they were, so thank you :) And thank you to everyone who reads this story, comments, gives kudos and bookmarks, it really means a lot to me and it keeps me continuing to write this story even when I think it's a little dull. And thank you for waiting so long for this chapter, I promise that the next one will be up around this time next week :)


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James raped Snape and then Snape raped Harry in revenge. Harry loves Snape and wants him to feel the same. Harry told Hermione and she got mad because her best friend was raped. He calmed her down and told her he would make sure that Snape had done it to no one else. Ron overheard them talking about Hermione liking him and thought they were dating. There was a whole debacle of rumours and such until Luna told them what the rumours were about. They confronted Ron and now love has begun between him and Hermione, though they’re not dating yet. Harry and Snape slept in a bed together and grew closer, but Harry found out that Snape loved his mother and was raped by his father. He swears to leave him alone so he doesn’t hurt him, but hurts himself doing so. Hermione questioned him and discovered Snape’s secrets and now understands why Harry is leaving him alone. Meanwhile, Ron did well in Quidditch while Hagrid took Harry and Hermione into the forest to meet his brother Grawp. They also meet some centaurs who aren’t very happy about having humans in their forest or being taught their secrets by Firenze, the new divination teacher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains depression, suicidal thoughts, disappointment and budding young love.

The whole fiasco with Hagrid had taken Harry’s mind off of Snape, but now that he was no longer in any kind of danger, he was all Harry could think about…  Harry tried to enjoy the celebration in the Great Hall, which was then carried on in the Gryffindor Common Room, but Harry just couldn’t find it in him to even give a single smile that wasn’t fake.  But he did smile, he smiled as much as everyone else and congratulated Ron on his performance in the Quidditch match and celebrated with the rest of Gryffindor house.  But he just felt like he wasn’t all _there_.   

His mind was constantly going back to Snape, even though he kept telling himself that he had to let him go, it was proving to be harder than he had previously thought…  Harry didn’t know what he was going to do…  At least before he had just a small bit of hope, it was a desperate, dwindling hope of course that Harry had not even realized that he had had at the time.  However, now that Harry was forcing himself to let it go, he found that he missed it…

He missed that little bit of hope…  Especially when it had grown so much when he had been talking with Snape that night…  It had been wonderful…  The most content that he had ever felt in his life and Harry knew that he would never get to feel that feeling ever again…  Harry knew deep in his heart that even if he _did_ get over Snape and moved on, that anyone else that he could ever possibly be with would never make him feel the way that Snape made him feel…  And Harry felt that was unfair to any future partners that he might have. 

Harry excused himself from the celebration early to go to bed, saying that he was just really tired.  Hermione had given him a look as he had left, but then had turned her attention back to Ron.  Harry was happy for them.  He really, really was.  But Harry just couldn’t help feeling jealous of them for how utterly simple their love was.  There were no obstacles, nothing standing in the way, no issues with parents, no age gap, no laws against it, no school rules against it, no unfounded hatred one held for the other, no horrible pasts, they were a boy and a girl, it was _acceptable_.  It was simple.  It was easy.  Not like with Harry.  Nothing was ever simple or easy for Harry. 

As Harry lay in bed, staring blankly upwards, he tried his best not to let the tears pooling in his eyes fall.  He had told himself that he wouldn’t cry anymore…  But why was that so hard to do..?  Harry felt so utterly depressed and miserable in that moment that he wished that he was dead.  He wished that he had never even lived.  He wished that he had never been born.  In fact, he wished that Snape had ended up with his Mother instead of James, and that James had been executed painfully and torturously for what he did to Snape.  He wished that Snape and his Mother had lived happily ever after and that Harry Potter never existed in the first place…

*

The next day was beautifully warm, so Harry, Ron and Hermione decided to do their revisions outside underneath the beech tree at the edge of the lake.  Hermione also thought that this place would be private enough in order to tell Ron about Grawp.  However, she was having difficulty working it into the conversation as all Ron wanted to talk about was the match yesterday.  And Hermione really didn’t want to ruin his good mood…  It was nice to see him like this, so happy and proud of himself.  It made her heart feel warm…

She only wished that Harry could be feeling the same.  She knew that he was struggling with his decision to leave Snape alone and move on…  She would support him in whatever he decided to do, but she hated to see him like this…  But at least he was focusing on his studies.  So Hermione turned her attentions to Ron, who was, rather animatedly, describing the match.  It made her smile; he was just so _cute_ sometimes…

“Well, I mean, I'd already let in that one of Davies’, so I wasn't feeling all that confident, but I dunno, when Bradley came towards me, just out of nowhere, I thought – you can do this!  And I had about a second to decide which way to fly, you know, because he looked like he was aiming for the right goalhoop – my right, obviously, his left – but I had a funny feeling that he was feinting, and so I took the chance and flew left – his right, I mean – and – well – you saw what happened.” he concluded modestly, sweeping his hair back quite unnecessarily so that it looked interestingly windswept and giving Hermione a lopsided grin. “And then, when Chambers came at me about five minutes later – What?' Ron asked, having stopped mid-sentence at the look on Hermione's face. “Why are you grinning?”

“I’m not,” said Hermione with a blush, she hadn’t realized that she was staring and smiling like a fool… “I’m just glad that we won.” Which was partially the truth, she was mostly just glad that Ron was so happy about it.

“Yeah,” said Ron slowly, savouring the words, “We won…  Did you see the look on Chang's face when Ginny got the Snitch right out from under her nose?” Hermione snorted.  She wished now that she had been there to see it…

“I suppose she cried, did she?” Harry said with a bitter satisfaction.

“Well, yeah, more out of temper than anything, though…” Ron frowned slightly. “But you saw her chuck her broom away when she got back to the ground, didn't you?” Harry didn’t answer and just turned back to his notes.  He would let Hermione explain, he really wasn’t in the mood.  But the mental image of Cho having a temper tantrum in front of the whole school had cheered him up just the tiniest bit.

“Well, actually… no Ron,” said Hermione with a sigh, putting down her book and looking at him apologetically. “As a matter of fact, the only bit of the match Harry and I saw was the first goal.”

Ron's carefully ruffled hair seemed to wilt with disappointment. “You didn't watch?” he said faintly, looking from one to the other. “You didn’t see me make any of those saves?” Ron was quite hurt.  The _one time_ when he actually did something _right_ for a change, and the two people that he wanted to see it the most, hadn’t even been there… 

“Well… no,” said Hermione, “But Ron, we didn’t want to leave – we had to!”

“Yeah?” said Ron, whose face was growing rather red. “How come?”

“It was Hagrid,” said Harry, deciding that he would help Hermione out as she seemed to be panicking. “He decided to tell us why he’s been covered in injuries ever since he got back from the giants.  He wanted us to go into the Forest with him, we had no choice, and you know how he gets.  Anyway…” Then Harry and Hermione told him the whole story about what had happened with Hagrid the day before.  By the end of it, Ron’s look of indignation had been replaced by one of total incredulity.

“He brought one back and hid it in the Forest?!”

“Yep,” said Harry grimly.

“No,” said Ron, as though by saying this he could somehow make it untrue. “No, he can’t have.”

“Well, he has,” said Hermione firmly. “Grawp’s about sixteen feet tall, enjoys ripping up twenty-foot pine trees, and knows me,” she snorted, “As Hermy.” Ron gave a nervous laugh.

“And Hagrid wants us to..?”

“Teach him English, yeah.” said Harry.

“He's lost his mind!” said Ron in an almost awed voice.

“Yes.” said Hermione irritably, turning a page of Intermediate Transfiguration and glaring at a series of diagrams showing an owl turning into a pair of opera glasses. “Yes, I'm starting to think he has.  But, unfortunately, he made Harry and me promise.”

“Well, you're just going to have to break your promise, that's all,” said Ron firmly. “I mean, come on… we’ve got exams and we’re about that far –” he held up his hand to show his thumb and forefinger almost touching, “From being chucked out as it is.  And anyway… remember Norbert?  Remember Aragog?  Have we ever come off better for mixing with any of Hagrid’s monster mates?”

“I know, it's just that… we promised.” said Hermione in a small voice.

Ron smoothed his hair flat again, and couldn’t help but think that Hermione’s small voice sounded really cute…  More than anything about this Grawp thing, Ron was worried about Hermione.  Especially after hearing how Grawp had nearly grabbed her…  He never wanted Hermione to go anywhere near Hagrid’s brother ever again.

“Well,” he sighed, “Hagrid hasn't been sacked yet, has he?  He's hung on this long, maybe he’ll hang on till the end of term and we won't have to go near Grawp at all.”

“We can always hope…” said Hermione as they continued their studying.  The trio studied for the rest of the day.  When the beautiful June weather began to turn chillier, they headed back inside towards the common room.  After first making a stop at the Kitchens of course. 

Harry’s mood didn’t improve at all throughout the day and when he finally went to bed; his mind was once again filled with thoughts of his own death and lack of existence entirely…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped you liked this chapter :) Please leave a comment below telling me what you think, positive or negative, it doesn't matter, all of your opinions are welcomed :) Also, what do you think will happen next between Harry and Snape? What about between Ron and Hermione as the two still aren't "officially" dating? What do you think of Harry's recent suicidal thoughts? Again, please leave a comment below, I'll really appreciate it :)


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James raped Snape and then Snape raped Harry in revenge. Harry loves Snape and wants him to feel the same. Harry told Hermione and she got mad because her best friend was raped. He calmed her down and told her he would make sure that Snape had done it to no one else. Ron overheard them talking about Hermione liking him and thought they were dating. There was a whole debacle of rumours and such until Luna told them what the rumours were about. They confronted Ron and now love has begun between him and Hermione, though they’re not dating yet. Harry and Snape slept in a bed together and grew closer, but Harry found out that Snape loved his mother and was raped by his father. He swears to leave him alone so he doesn’t hurt him, but is hurting himself by doing so. Hermione questioned him and discovered Snape’s secrets and now understands why Harry is leaving him alone. Meanwhile, Ron did well in Quidditch while Hagrid took Harry and Hermione into the forest to meet his brother. Ron found out they didn’t watch him in Quidditch and was disappointed, but then they told him about Grawp. Harry is now feeling depressed and suicidal from the decision he made to leave Snape alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains depression, budding young love, snarky people and longing.

Severus Snape never thought that he would miss being happy.  He had become so accustomed to its absence over the years that he had begun to not even care for such a feeling.  There was even a part of him that felt that he didn’t even deserve it…  After all, he had become a Death Eater, and more than anything else, he had been responsible for Lily’s death…  He felt that he deserved the absence of such a feeling, as Lily had often been the one to cause it in the first place…

However, he had felt happiness again.  Felt it for the first time in 22 years!  And though Severus tried to deny it, he couldn’t help the longing that he felt to feel it again.  He wanted that warm, caressing feeling to be back inside of him.  But the person who had caused the wonderful feeling, Harry Potter, had decided to leave him alone.  Forever. 

The last words that the boy had spoken to him ran through his mind…

“ _I won’t torture you with my presence any longer.  I won’t force you to look at a face that looks so much like that monster’s.  Or force you to look into the eyes of your dead love.  You will never have to see me again._ ”

The boy had kept his word.  Severus had not once seen him again afterwards.  The boy had stopped going to the Great Hall for meals completely, and not once had he seen him in the halls.  Severus had even tried looking for him from his seat at the Quidditch Match; which if he was being completely honest with himself, he had only gone to so that he could see the boy.  He had arrived a bit late as he had struggled with his decision to go at all, however, when he had got there the boy was nowhere to be seen…

Severus felt a loneliness such as he had never felt before.  He was used to being alone, in fact, he preferred it.  But now, he _felt_ truly and utterly alone, and he did not like the feeling one bit.  As Severus lay alone in his bed, he was reminded once again of how cold the sheets were, without the boy’s presence in them…  It had never bothered him before, but now it  did.  He had barely slept the last two nights at all, and it didn’t seem that this night would be any different.

“Severus, really…” said Philip from his second painting on the other side of the room.

“What do you want, Philip?” Severus said harshly.

“Now, now, Severus, manners,” the painting reprimanded before saying, “You clearly miss the boy, so why not talk to him?”

“I do _not_ miss him.” Severus snapped immediately.

“Oh yes you do.” said Philip with a mischievous smile, “You most certainly do, so why not talk to him?”

“…He’s avoiding me…” Severus mumbled under his breath.

“What was that?” Philip said with a grin, holding a comedic hand to his left ear. “I couldn’t quite catch it.”

“I said that he’s avoiding me!” Severus shouted at the insufferable painting.

“Well, you have class with him tomorrow, don’t you?” Philip said smugly.  Severus’ eyes widened.  He couldn’t believe that he had forgotten!  Severus refused to let it show even in the slightest, but he felt a sudden surge of excitement course through him.

“Good night Philip.” Severus drawled to the irritating painting as he rolled over, now feeling as though he would be able to sleep.

“Good night Severus.” said Philip, and Severus could practically feel his grin as he said in a singsong voice, “Have fun on your date tomorrow!”

“It’s not a date!” Severus yelled at the painting, who simply chuckled as Severus heard him walk out of his painting and back to the other one on the entrance to his Chambers.  Severus’ last thought as he drifted into a sleep filled with images of a rather indecent boy-who-lived, was that he didn’t understand _why_ Dumbledore thought that it would be a good idea to make the old Head of Slytherin house who was known to be the most cheerful Head the house ever had, the painting that guarded his Chambers.  

*

“Harry, you _have_ to go to Potions!” Hermione said crossly to Harry after he told her and Ron that he was planning on not going to that specific class.

“No, I don’t.” Harry replied simply.

“Come on, mate,” said Ron, who was of course siding with Hermione on this, “Snape’s not that bad.  He’s a right bastard, yeah, but he’s not going to be any worse than usual.” Ron still didn’t know the true reason why Harry didn’t want to go, so his arguments were even feebler than Hermione’s. “Besides,” Ron continued “Maybe we’ll get lucky and Snape’ll drink himself stupid again –” Hermione hit Ron on the arm with her books when she saw the look in Harry’s eyes. 

“Ow!” Ron said, rubbing his arm. “What was that for, Hermione?” but Hermione didn’t answer and instead said to Harry,

“Harry, what about your exams?  If Professor Snape’s class will be anything like Professor Binn’s then we’re likely going to be reviewing.  What are you going to do when the exams come along?!”

“I’ll just skip those too!” Harry said irritably, shocking Hermione. “I’m not going, and there’s nothing that you can do to change my mind.” then he began marching upstairs towards the Gryffindor common room. “Don’t follow me; you have to get to class.” He then turned his back on his friends and stormed away.  They really did get on his nerves sometimes.  He knew that they only meant well, but he just wasn’t in the mood for it.  He wasn’t in the mood for anything right now, really…

Harry then spent the period in his bed studying his other classes.  He tried to keep his mind completely and totally absorbed in his notes, so as not to let it wander…  For when he did get distracted and let it wander, it tended to wander to the longing that he felt, the extreme sadness and the anger that he felt towards himself that he _could_ be seeing Snape right now but he was choosing not to.  So he tried to stay focused.

*

Severus was extremely disappointed when he walked into his class and Harry Potter was absent…  It seemed that the boy’s avoidance of him spread to his lessons as well.  Regardless, Severus had a lesson to teach, and it was a rather important one as all of the teachers had been instructed to start revising their students for the exams the following week. 

Despite Severus’ incident of foolish intoxication during his last lesson with this class, they did not seem to be acting any differently.  Except for a few, who appeared to be even more afraid of him than usual, not knowing what he might do.  Severus smirked at the fear and respect that the students held for him.  If any of the other teachers had shown up for a lesson in such a state, he was sure that they would lose any and all respect from their students.  The only others that he could think that may retain _some_ respect were McGonagall and Vector.

About halfway through the class, Severus’ longing got the better of him and he went up to where Granger and Weasley were sitting and asked silkily,

“Ms. Granger, where is Mr. Potter this morning?”

“I-I don’t know, Sir.” she said.  He frowned and then turned to Weasley and asked the same question.  After looking at Granger, the boy replied.

“I don’t know either.”

“Twenty points from Gryffindor for Mr. Potter’s absence.” he said, to a resounding groan from the Gryffindors, “And if either of you happen to see Mr. Potter, then you can let him know that he has a detention with me at 6 o’clock tonight.”

“Yes, Sir.” said Granger.  Then he resumed his lesson, his mind never once leaving The-Boy-Who-Lived…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I really hope that you enjoyed this chapter, because I sure enjoyed writing it :) Especially the part with Philip, I quite like his character :) But I'd really like to know what YOU think of him, this chapter, the situation between Harry and Snape, Ron's continued ignorance, the newest POV from our favourite snarky dungeon bat and anything else that you would like to comment on :) I would very much like to hear from you and all comments are welcome, even negative ones, I could always use some constructive criticism :) Send some Kudos and leave a comment if you liked it, and I really hope that you did :)


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James raped Snape and then Snape raped Harry in revenge. Harry loves Snape and wants him to feel the same. Harry told Hermione and she got mad because her best friend was raped. He calmed her down and told her he would make sure that Snape had done it to no one else. Ron overheard them talking about Hermione liking him and thought they were dating. There was a whole debacle of rumours and such until Luna told them what the rumours were about. They confronted Ron and now love has begun between him and Hermione, though they’re not dating yet. Harry and Snape slept in a bed together and grew closer, but Harry found out that Snape loved his mother and was raped by his father. He swears to leave him alone so he doesn’t hurt him, but is hurting himself by doing so. Hermione questioned him and discovered Snape’s secrets and now understands why Harry is leaving him alone. Harry is feeling depressed and suicidal from his decision to leave Harry alone and Snape is quite upset about Harry avoiding him as he had made him happy for the first time since he was raped. Harry didn’t show up for Potions class and now he has detention, will he go to it or will he continue to avoid Snape??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains depression and suicidal thoughts.

Just as Harry had refused to go to Potions, he also refused to go to his detention with Snape.  Hermione persisted in trying to convince him to go throughout all of their classes for the rest of the day and Ron complained that Harry would end up losing _all_ of the points that Gryffindor had received for winning the Quidditch cup.  But Harry was unfazed by their arguments and he held his resolution firm.  Although every bit of him wanted to go to that detention with Snape, a lot of him also hoping that something similar to the last detention that he had had would occur…  But he would not go and that was final.

When six o’clock came around, Harry had never felt more miserable in his life.  Knowing that he could have time alone with Snape and that he was passing it up…  But he had to do this.  He just _had_ to!  After all, it wasn’t him that he was doing this for, it was for Snape.  He couldn’t be selfish now.  He needed to think of Snape.  If he truly loved him, then he would leave him alone.

Harry couldn’t sleep at all that night; thoughts of killing himself now running rampant in his mind.  He didn’t want to live anymore, but he knew that he was too much of a coward to do anything about it…  And besides, if he died, then it would hurt Hermione and Ron and Sirius and Remus and Hagrid and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and the Twins and Ginny, and his other friends would likely miss him too, like Neville and Luna.  He just couldn’t hurt them all like that.  And in a hopeful part of his mind, he thought that maybe it would hurt Snape too, if he died.  Just maybe…  And he would never even take the chance of hurting Snape any more than he already had…

So Harry continued to live.  Over the next few days, he continued to live.  Completely absorbing himself in studying, eating very rarely and when he did it was in the Kitchens.  He pushed Ron and Hermione away, they cared too much, especially Hermione, he couldn’t let them know how he was feeling.  Hermione continued to give him suspicious looks, but with the O.W.L.s coming up, her mind was often occupied and whenever it wasn’t on studying, it was focused on Ron.  As it should be. 

Hermione had continued to barrage him about not going to his detention with Snape.  Telling him that he should go apologize and ask for a time when he could make up for it.  She began to barrage him even more when he skipped Potions on Thursday as well.  However, Harry took barely any notice of her, which frustrated her to no end.  He knew that she was worried about him, but so long as Ron was there whenever they were together, he could avoid any and all questions that her brilliant mind could think up.  He felt a little bit bad, but it was better than the alternative…

*

Hermione didn’t know what to do…  She could see Harry deteriorating right in front of her and there was nothing that she could do to stop it…  She tried to not think about it though.  Tried to respect Harry’s decision and be a good friend.  So she had focused on studying for their O.W.L.s the next week and focused on Ron (which really wasn’t that hard to do) but every time she saw Harry, it made her heart ache to see him like that.  To see the fake smiles and laughs, accompanied by that hard look in his eyes…   Hermione had started wondering if letting him do this to himself _was_ being a good friend…

Avoiding Professor Snape like this clearly wasn’t doing him any good, and although it was sad what happened to Professor Snape, the person that she cared about was Harry.  And if going against what Harry wanted brought even the tiniest bit of life back into his eyes, then she would do it.  Her only hesitation on the matter came from the fact that although there was a chance that talking to Professor Snape would cheer him up, there was also a chance that it would just upset him more…  And then Harry would lose all trust in her and may not even want to be friends with her at all anymore, driving him farther and farther into the dark and secluded place that he was _clearly_ heading to and she would be able to do nothing to help him at all anymore because he wouldn’t trust her or want her around anymore!!! 

Hermione tried her best to calm her panicking mind.  Then thinking once more about that dark look in Harry’s eyes, Hermione made up her mind.  It was worth the risk.  If Professor Snape could help him even the tiniest bit, then it would be worth losing his trust and friendship.  It was worth it.

With that thought in mind, Hermione crept into the Boy’s Dormitory on Friday during dinner.  Harry had just left to go down to the Kitchens once again for food.  She didn’t know how long he would be gone, so she hurried.  She ran over to his trunk and unlocked it with a spell.  She then dug in the disaster of a trunk until she found what she was looking for; the Marauder’s Map.  Then she closed and relocked the trunk, stuffing the magical map inside of her robes, and headed down to the Great Hall. 

Hermione paid attention to Professor Snape for the entire meal while studying with Ron.  She already knew it all anyways, so this little bit of wasted time was okay and it could be made up for.  Shortly after Snape left, Hermione said that she wanted to go to the library.  Ron offered to go with her, of course, but she turned him down, to his dismay.

When she had gotten out of the Great Hall and away from any prying eyes, she cast a spell to make it look like she was only reading a book and then she pulled out the Marauder’s Map.

“ _I solemnly swear that I am up to no good._ ” she recited, and then the map appeared on the old parchment.  Her eyes gazed over the map until she saw the little dot labeled _Severus Snape._   He was heading down to the dungeons, immediately Hermione began on her way there as well.  She noticed that when he did get to the dungeons, that Professor Snape turned into a room deeper in the dungeons than Hermione had ever been.  She assumed that this must be his Chambers.

When Hermione finally got there, she whispered,

“ _Mischief Managed_.” before putting the map inside of her robes once more.  Then she headed towards the room that she knew Professor Snape to be inside of.  When she got there, she was met with a painting of an old man dressed in bright green robes with brown hair, beard and mustache that was streaked with silver.  He smiled cheerfully as he said,

“Well hello there miss!”

“H-hello.” said Hermione nervously, “Um… is Professor Snape here?”

“Why yes he is, what business do you have with the Professor?” the painting asked.

“N-not business,” Hermione clarified, “I was just wondering if I could maybe speak to him.”

“Well, what is it that you would like to talk to him about?” the painting asked, “I can’t just let random students into the Professor’s Chambers, you know.”

“I-I understand that.” Hermione said, “I want to talk to him about… Harry Potter.” the painting’s eyes widened for a moment before asking

“Are you a friend of Mr. Potter, miss?”

“Yes.” said Hermione, “My name is Hermione Granger.” the painting nodded and then said,

“Come in then Hermione Granger, I’ll let him know that you’re here.” then as the painting walked out of its frame, the door opened and Hermione stepped inside…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment letting me know what you think of this chapter and what you think will happen next :)
> 
> Also, I have a new fanfiction posted on this website called 'In Another Life' (self-promo, I know), but if you like really slow-building Harry/Tom fics with a powerful Harry then you should check it out :)


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James raped Snape and then Snape raped Harry in revenge. Harry loves Snape and wants him to feel the same. Harry told Hermione. Ron overheard them talking about Hermione liking him and thought they were dating. There was a whole debacle of rumours and such until Luna told them what the rumours were about. They confronted Ron and now love has begun between him and Hermione, though they’re not dating yet. Harry and Snape slept in a bed together and grew closer, but Harry found out that Snape loved his mother and was raped by his father. He swears to leave him alone so he doesn’t hurt him, but is hurting himself by doing so. Hermione questioned him and discovered Snape’s secrets and now understands why Harry is leaving him alone. Harry is feeling depressed and suicidal from his decision to leave Harry alone and Snape is quite upset about Harry avoiding him as he had made him happy for the first time since he was raped. Harry didn’t show up for two Potions classes or his detention. Hermione has decided that enough is enough and it’s worth risking her friendship with Harry to make him see sense and stop hurting himself. She goes to Snape’s chambers and Philip lets her in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains brief talk of rape and depression.

As Hermione waited by the door of Professor Snape’s Chambers, she couldn’t help but look around.  From what she could see, the whole place was decorated in blacks and different shades of silvers, with only a few bits of green here and there.  The black curtains over what must have been false windows flowed in the same way that the Professor’s robes did.  The whole place seemed as though it was an extension of Professor Snape himself, and it gave Hermione the creeps. 

She felt a shiver run up her spine just being there.  A dark, ominous aura seemed to flow from every inch of it.  If she had not been there for a very important reason, Hermione was sure that she would have left as fast as she could.  As she stood there waiting, Hermione began to hear shouting from behind the wall that divided the room she was standing in and what must have been the bedroom. 

“What do you mean Ms. Granger is here?” she heard the Professor’s voice shout, “Tell her to leave!” now that she was listening intently, she could hear the painting’s much quieter voice say,

“She wants to talk to you about Harry Potter, Severus.  And to be frank, I think it would do you a lot of good.”

“I don’t want to talk about Harry Potter with his know-it-all little friend!” Professor Snape shouted at the painting, Hermione huffed at the insult, but ignored it.

“Severus, you have been miserable for days!  And I mean more miserable than usual.  You clearly miss the boy, so I think that you should talk to the girl and see what she has to say!” that shocked Hermione quite a bit.  Professor Snape missed Harry?  It made her smile a little to think about it.  To think that their grumpy old Potions Master had a soft spot for _anyone_ , never mind _Harry_.

That was the last thing that she needed to know.  She was now completely for Harry and Professor Snape being together.  Yes, there would be a lot of problems and it was _illegal_.  But they were both miserable without the other, it had been pretty much proven to her that Harry had been the only child that he had ever or would ever rape, based on the reason why he had done it in the first place, and to be honest, Hermione thought that they would be rather cute together.  Harry had made the decision to keep the two of them apart without ever asking Professor Snape how he _actually_ felt about it.  Yes, he looked like his parents and he may remind Professor Snape of some not very nice things, but that clearly wasn’t all the man thought of him if he missed him.

“That still doesn’t mean that I want to talk to his friend, now tell her to leave, Philip!” Professor Snape shouted.  The painting, which Hermione now knew was named Philip, sighed and then said,

“Severus, it was for times like these that Dumbledore put me here for.  That boy has changed you Severus and I would like to see it be for the better.  Now if you want her to leave, then you’ll have to tell her to yourself.” then Philip appeared in the painting beside Hermione and said, “Go talk to him.  And whatever you do, don’t just leave if he tells you to.  Say what you came here to say.”

“T-thank you.” said Hermione.  Philip smiled and then waved a hand, clearly telling her to go to Professor Snape.

Hermione was extremely nervous, but she knew that she had to do this, so despite her slightly shaking legs and fast-paced heart, she continued towards Professor Snape’s bedroom (though it was still a bit odd to her to think about her grumpiest Professor as being actually human and needing such a room, she knew it was a stupid thought, but it was still quite odd for her to walk into the room and see him standing next to his bed, which he obviously must sleep in every night.  It was strange to think of her professor sleeping at all.  To think that he could ever relax that much, she had to admit to herself that she was curious what the man would look like when he was actually peaceful with all of his defenses down.  She had never once seen the man so much as smile, never mind be completely relaxed, it was truly very curious to wonder about...)

“P-Professor Snape?” she said, breaking herself out of her thoughts.

“Yes, Miss Granger, now what do you want that you would come to my very Chambers to disturb me for it?!” the man snapped.  Hermione really couldn’t see what Harry saw in him; to her he just seemed like a bitter old man.  But of course, that couldn’t be all he was.  And often when people were bitter was because they were really just sad and didn’t want to admit it…

“I want to talk to you about Harry, Sir.” she said, mustering all of her courage together to keep her voice even and confident.

“I know that, you silly girl.  What about him?” Hermione almost thought that she had imagined the slight longing that seemed to be in his last sentence, but given the conversation that she had overheard earlier, she knew it must have truly been there.  She took a deep breath before saying.

“I know everything.” something seemed to change in Professor Snape’s eyes.  Could it have been a flicker of fear?  He paused for a moment before saying,

“What do you mean by everything, Miss Granger?” She took a deep breath before she began talking, very hurriedly and nervously, trying to get everything thing out at once, and yet scared to let the words leave her tongue, but she forced them out anyway.

“I know what happened between you and Harry during your detention two weeks ago.  I know what happened the Thursday afterwards, when you brought him here.  And I know what he found out when he spent the night with you in the Hospital Wing.” Professor Snape had begun to shake a little, though whether it was out of anger or fear, Hermione didn’t know…  She would be lying if she said she wasn't scared.

“Did he tell you?!” he snapped after another pause.  After a shaky breath on her part, Hermione replied,

“About the detention and what happened here yes.  But he didn’t tell me about what he found out about you.  He absolutely refused to tell me, saying that it wasn’t his place to say.” Hermione didn’t want him to be mad at Harry, because it really wasn’t his fault that she knew.

“Then how do you know?!” he asked, bewildered.

“Well…” said Hermione, “I kind of… guessed.” Completely gobsmacked, Professor Snape said,

“You guessed?”

“Yes, Sir.” she said, “I questioned him a bit and then I guessed.” Professor Snape then put his head in his hand and there was silence between them for quite a while, but Hermione knew better than to end it.  Her Professor had just found out that one of his students knew about his past, and it was a terrible past at that.  She didn't know how she would feel in his place, she could try to imagine, being the intelligent, empathetic witch that she was, but she didn't think that she could even come close to understanding how he felt.  She had absolutely no business knowing and she knew that.  Harry in the very least had _some_ business knowing it, they were _his_ _parents_  after all, and he wanted to be in a relationship with the man himself, but she was sure that the man didn't even want _Harry_ to know.  But then there was her.  She was nothing to him, but an annoying student that talked too much and knew too much and was friends with Harry.  That was all she was to him, and yet she knew about, what could very well be, the darkest thing in his past.  She felt entirely out of place here.  This was none of her business and she knew it, she knew it all too well...  But Harry was her very best friend.  She would even go as far as to say that he was her very first friend, and she wasn't going to allow him to continue to hurt himself, not if she could help it.  When Professor Snape finally spoke again, with his head still in his hand, she nearly jumped in surprise.

“His mother used to do the same thing to me." he said, "I could never keep anything from her either.” Hermione smiled, glad that he understood that Harry had not meant for her to find out.  “So why have you come to talk to me then?” he asked, still a bit shaken over the revelation that another person now knew about the worst thing to ever happen to him.  He felt incredibly vulnerable and self-conscious, but he was determined to hide that.

“Well, you see Sir…” Hermione said, not quite sure how to phrase it.  She decided to just say it outright. “Sir, he’s miserable without you.  I know that he decided to leave you alone because he doesn’t want to hurt you, but he’s just absolutely miserable.  He acts like he isn’t, but I know he is.”

Severus was quite shocked by this.  The boy was miserable without him?  For some reason, that thought filled his heart with a kind of warmth…  But he said,

“Well, there’s nothing that I can do about that Miss Granger, because as you said, he has _decided_ to leave me alone.”

“I know that Sir, but I could bring him to you.”

“And whatever would make you think that I would want you to do that?” Severus asked.  Then the girl smiled and said, feeling incredibly bold,

“Because Sir, you’re miserable without him too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think will happen next? What do you think Hermione is planning in that genius mind of hers?? How do you think Harry will react to finding out that his best friend went behind his back and talked to Snape??? Please leave a comment below with your theories, thoughts, feeling, etc. along with what you think of this chapter and this story :)


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James raped Snape and then Snape raped Harry in revenge. Harry loves Snape and wants him to feel the same. Harry told Hermione. Ron overheard them talking about Hermione liking him and thought they were dating. There was a whole debacle of rumours and such until Luna told them what the rumours were about. They confronted Ron and now love has begun between him and Hermione, though they’re not dating yet. Harry and Snape slept in a bed together and grew closer, but Harry found out that Snape loved his mother and was raped by his father. He swears to leave him alone so he doesn’t hurt him, but is hurting himself by doing so. Hermione questioned him and discovered Snape’s secrets and now understands why Harry is leaving him alone. Harry is feeling depressed and suicidal from his decision to leave him alone and Snape is quite upset about Harry avoiding him as he had made him happy for the first time since he was raped. Harry didn’t show up for two Potions classes or his detention. Hermione has decided that enough is enough and it’s worth risking her friendship with Harry to make him see sense and stop hurting himself. She goes to Snape’s chambers and Philip lets her in, she talks to Snape and convinces him to see Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains mentions of depression.

_Why did I ever agree to do this?_ Severus thought to himself as he stood with his arms crossed in an empty classroom. The Granger girl’s plan was simple; he, Severus would wait in this empty classroom while she ran off to fetch Potter. She would bring him here without telling him that Severus would be there. Then the two of them would supposedly talk out their problems while Granger stayed to keep the peace and insure that Potter didn’t run away.

Severus was annoyed, but he unwillingly remembered the reason why he agreed to this in the first place. Both Philip and Granger had been right when they said that he had been miserable without the boy. Though he loathed to admit it, after Potter hadn’t come to Potions that day, he fell into a sort of depression. Hardly anyone noticed any difference though as he acted nearly the same as he always had. However, Philip noticed, as he always did. He had urged him to talk to the boy for days, and when Granger had come to his Chambers, the irritating painting had seized the opportunity.

Despite his annoyance however, Severus found that he was actually a little tiny bit _happy_ about this turn of events. He truly had missed the boy; he had barely slept, lost his appetite and become even more irritable than usual. He absolutely hated to admit it, even to himself, but he had become rather _fond_ of the boy during that night that they spent together. He had expected himself to regret how he had acted, but he just couldn’t bring himself to regret a single word. He didn’t regret being kind to the boy, didn’t regret apologizing to him, didn’t regret talking to and getting to know him and he most certainly did not regret spending the night with the boy in his arms… The only thing that he regretted about that night was the way it had ended.

Suddenly, Severus could hear voices from out in the corridor, in particular though, he heard _Harry Potter’s_ voice.

“Hermione, I don’t see what makes this so damn important; I was studying for Merlin’s sake! We have our O.W.L.s next week!”

“It just is!” the voice of the Granger girl replied, “Now stop complaining and just head in there.” the door to the room that Severus was in began to open. He stiffened. It had been quite a while since he had even _seen_ the boy, never mind been in the same room with him… Potter was the first one through the door and as soon as he laid eyes on Severus, he immediately turned around and attempted to leave the room, but Granger was blocking the way.

“Let me through Hermione!” he yelled in the girl’s face, clearly extremely angry with her for tricking him.

“No!” she shouted back as she took out her wand, “Don’t make me have to hex you Harry. You’re going into that room and having a talk with Professor Snape whether you want to or not. And I _know_ that you want to.” Severus smirked. The girl reminded him of Lily once again, with her fiery temper.

Potter continued to grumble, but he eventually gave in. He stormed into the room and sat down in one of the chairs, his arms crossed and refusing to look anywhere near Severus.

“Good.” said Granger, but she still kept her wand out. “Now the two of you have something to talk about.”

“No we don’t.” the boy said, “I have nothing to say to him other than to repeat what I told him a week ago.” Severus felt hurt at those words, he then said,

“Do you really intend to never have anything to do with me ever again, Potter?”

“Yes.” Potter replied, “And please don’t call me that. I don’t want to be reminded that I have the same name as _him_.” Severus paused for a moment, slightly shocked. Then he replied,

“Alright then Po-Harry,” It felt strange to call the boy by his first name. But Severus understood not wanting to be reminded that he was related to his father. That was the reason why in his teenage years he had adopted the name “Half-Blood Prince”, taking on his Mother’s surname instead. However, after Severus had called the boy by his first name, a blush began to cloud his cheeks, he then decided to continue to call him by his first name, if only to see that adorable blush again…

“Harry, why do you want to have nothing to do with me?”

“I don’t _want_ to!” the boy answered immediately, looking Severus in the eyes for the first time since he had arrived. His emerald eyes appeared to be growing wet as he continued, “I really don’t Sir, I love you… But because I love you, I can’t stand to be around you knowing that my very presence causes you pain…” Po-Harry then paused to blink back the tears that had accumulated in his eyes before he said, “I look identical to my father who raped you and I have the same eyes as my mother who you loved and then lost to my horrible father and then to death! How can I force my presence on you when I know all of that?! How can I be around you when I look just like them–?”

“But you are not them.” Severus interrupted, “Just as I told you that night. You are not your parents, you are _you_. And I was wrong to ever treat you any differently.”

“But Sir,” the boy said stubbornly, “Even just looking at me will remind you of them and cause you pain! I just can’t do that to you.”

“Harry, if you cannot bare to cause me pain then please don’t avoid me any longer.” Severus felt naked in front of the boy; begging him and opening up to him like this. But he felt that it was something that he needed to do, and he _knew_ that he wouldn’t regret it. “Harry, this past week I have rarely slept or eaten and I have felt rather depressed. No matter _what_ you remind me of or how much you may hurt me with your appearance; I would prefer all of that than to have to spend another moment away from you.”

The boy was now blushing immensely, his entire face was red and it was even traveling down his neck, _I wonder how far that blush goes?_ Severus wondered to himself.

“…Sir, please don’t say things like that…” the boy said quietly, “I don’t want to get my hopes up just to have them dashed…” Severus then smiled. A real smile, as he said,

“Who said anything about dashing them?” then in two quick strides Severus made his way to where the boy was sitting, knelt down and kissed him.

Both Severus and Harry closed their eyes in the pleasure and sheer _rightness_ of the kiss. The whole world seemed to just fall away, but they were brought back to reality mere moments later by a muffled squeal. Their lips parted and they both immediately looked towards the noise. They had both completely forgotten that Hermione Granger was still in the room, her face now very red and her hands over her mouth and nose.

“Oh, don’t mind me…” she said. Severus and Harry both stood up, now blushing greatly and staring at the ground in embarrassment. They stood there like that for a few silent, awkward minutes, before Severus broke the silence by saying,

“I believe Po-Harry, that you still have a detention to make up for.” the boy smiled.

“Yes Sir.” he said.

“Good.” Said Severus, “After dinner tomorrow, in my classroom.”

“Yes Sir.” the boy said again, the broad grin still plastered on his face.

“Now away with you both before Ms. Granger has a heart attack and dies – the paperwork would be horrendous.” and with that, the boy left the room, taking Granger along with him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I can't tell you how sorry I am that it has been so long since I've updated :( I didn't realize that it had been this long... And I've been just a TINY bit obsessive about my other fanfic 'In Another Life', but I promise that I am not giving up on this story, and it may take me a bit to really get it going again but I promise that as long as people want to read this, I will never give up on it. So, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter :) If you did then please give Kudos and/or leave a comment bellow :) I promise to answer any and all comments that you post, and if you're mad at me for taking so long to post, then feel free to rant at me as well. I know that I deserve it... I can't just give up on one fanfic because I'm writing another. So, I really hoped that you enjoyed this chapter, and I should be updating in about a week.


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James raped Snape and then Snape raped Harry in revenge. Harry loves Snape and wants him to feel the same. Harry told Hermione. Ron overheard them talking about Hermione liking him and thought they were dating. There was a whole debacle of rumours and such until Luna told them what the rumours were about. They confronted Ron and now love has begun between him and Hermione, though they’re not dating yet. Harry and Snape slept in a bed together and grew closer, but Harry found out that Snape loved his mother and was raped by his father. He swears to leave him alone so he doesn’t hurt him, but is hurting himself by doing so. Hermione questioned him and discovered Snape’s secrets and now understands why Harry is leaving him alone. But Hermione takes matters into her own hands and brings the two together to talk things out as they were both miserable without the other. They talked and kissed and now Harry has a detention to attend... what will happen there???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K.Rowling
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains adult language and smut. If you don't want to read this then stop reading after the '**'. Though if you don't like to read it, then I don't really know why you're reading this story... but to each their own.

Harry Potter was restless the next day as he awaited his unofficial “date” with Snape. He had spent the rest of the day and night the day before, as well as all of this day, catching up on studying for Potions. He was now, once again, desperate to achieve an “Outstanding” in his Potions O.W.L. in order to remain in Snape’s class. However, he was finding it hard to stay focused on his notes as his detention with Snape grew nearer and nearer…

Hermione was so happy for Harry, and very glad about the decision she had made. The best possible outcome had happened; Harry was now back on speaking and even _kissing_ terms with Professor Snape and he wasn’t mad at her even one bit anymore for tricking him into talking to him. Happiness now just seemed to radiate off of Harry in thick streams, affecting everyone around him; including her and Ron.

Ron, as always, was almost completely ignorant to what was going on in his best friend’s life. What he did know, however, was that for the past little bit he seemed kind of down and completely avoided going to the Great Hall, but now he was radiating with happiness and sitting in the Great Hall with him and Hermione. Ron was happy for his friend and didn’t ask about it. He was curious of course, but if it was any of his business he would tell him, right? And besides, Ron didn’t want to make any assumptions, like the last time… Instead, Harry’s infectious happiness prompted him to do something that for the last week he had been too afraid to do…

“Hey Hermione?” he said, catching her attention, “While Harry’s at his detention… do you want to… maybe… perhaps… go for a walk..? Or something..? I mean… It’s a nice day out… so… I just thought that… maybe…” Hermione’s eyes widened in surprise, but soon her mouth followed as it widened into a smile and she said, a little more enthusiastically than she had meant,

“Yes!!!” then she cleared her throat and said, a little more dignified, “I mean, yes. I would love to go for a walk with you.” Ron smiled back at her and then the two of them just stared into each other’s eyes. Harry chuckled and said,

“Well, I’m gonna go. Have fun on your date!” then he left towards his own unofficial “date”.

*

Harry was nervous as he knocked on the classroom door, though nowhere near as nervous as he had been the last time he had done it.

“Come in.” he heard Snape say from inside the classroom. When Harry walked into the room, he saw that Snape wasn’t at his desk. Instead, he was at one of the tables with a cauldron and ingredients in front of him. Harry walked over to him and said,

“What’s this, Professor?”

“I merely figured that as this is a detention it would be suitable to try and get to the bottom of your abysmal potion making.”

“Oh.” said Harry, he hadn’t known exactly _what_ he had expected, but _this_ certainly wasn’t it.

“Don’t give me that.” Snape snapped at him, but Harry couldn’t help but feel that Snape was playing with him. “You have your O.W.L.s next week, and I would prefer it if you remained in my class. I will not simply change my N.E.W.T. requirements just for you.” Harry grinned and decided to play along.

“Would you miss me, Sir?” he teased. Snape gave him a piercing glare, and yet, Harry felt no malice behind it. He laughed and then said, “Okay. I don’t really know why I’m so bad at it though.”

“Well then you’ll just have to start working, maybe then we’ll be able to find the core of the problem.” then Severus wrote the instructions on the board and told the boy to get to work. Severus then proceeded to watch the boy at work closely, to attempt to find the root of his mistakes. By the end of it, Severus was sure that he had figured out the reasons behind his lack of skills in Potion making, and Severus had to admit, he was rather surprised by his findings.

“I did it wrong, didn’t I?” the boy said sadly.

“Yes, you did.” Severus answered, “But I knew that you would, so that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I believe I understand your main problems.” the boy perked up immediately and said,

“What are they?”

Then Severus proceeded to explain to the boy that his problems lied mostly with himself. The first of the three problems that he discovered was that the boy was constantly looking at him and not staying focused on what he was doing. The second being that he was clearly unsure of himself, his hands shook when he prepared the ingredients and he was very nervous about adding then to the potion, clearly fearing that he would do it wrong. This problem was most obviously started by Severus himself who would always berate the boy in the past for even the smallest mistake. The third and last problem, the only one that he was not completely responsible for, was that he over-thought the whole process of potion making. This is often a problem in muggle-raised children. They are not used to magic or magical ingredients and overthink the most simplest of tasks, simply because it has to do with magic. Some children, like the Granger girl, grow out of this and see the act of potion making for the simplicity that it truly is when only following instructions, however Harry was one of the ones who did not grow out of this. Which also could be connected to the second problem, making it again, Severus’ doing.

After Severus had explained all of this, the boy replied, “Well, is there anything I can do to fix those things?” Severus thought to himself for a moment and then said,

“Well besides keeping your eyes and mind on the task at hand, I’m not quite – wait – Harry, have you ever cooked before?” Severus immediately regretted asking the question as the boy’s face grew dark.

“Yes, Sir.” he answered.

“What kinds of things?” Severus felt guilty for asking this question, but this could be the solution to their problem.

“All kinds.” the boy answered, expressionlessly. “Whatever my relatives felt like eating.” Severus swallowed dryly seeing the look on the boy’s face. But regardless, he continued with his idea.

“Harry, don’t overthink potion-making, just imagine that you’re simply cooking and following a recipe to make food.”

“Alright.” the boy said. Then Severus vanished the potion and wrote a new set of instructions on the board.

Then Harry got to work, taking into account what Snape had said. He had never really thought of Potion making like cooking before, but he supposed that it really was quite similar. Harry kept his mind on what he was doing and imagined that he was simply cooking a rather complicated soup, pretending that the ingredients were vegetables. Harry really enjoyed cooking, it brought up a lot of rather nasty memories, yes, but he had always rather enjoyed it. It was simple, nearly effortless and he could completely lose himself in the simple relaxing motions.

When he was younger, before he went to Hogwarts, cooking and cleaning were the only things that could really relax him and take his mind off of everything. It was in moments like those that he imagined some distant relative coming and taking him away to somewhere that he would belong. Somewhere that he would be loved… It was rather funny to think that Hagrid had shown up and done just that. Sure he wasn’t a relative, but he was now a great friend. Harry was afraid to think of what his life might be like right now if Hagrid had not come and taken him away from there…

Harry was taken out of his thoughts suddenly by the feeling of long fingers wrapping around his right hip bone.

“Very good Harry,” Snape whispered in his ear. Harry felt a tremble run through him and he was sure that Snape felt it too. He loved hearing his name being spoken by that voice… Snape didn’t say anything else after that but he continued to stand behind him with his hand wrapped around his hip. Harry took a deep breath and continued to try and work, even when Snape’s fingers began to trace tantalizing lines between his hip and now nearly fully erect cock, but never actually touching it. Eventually, Harry had enough and said, a little breathlessly,

“Professor Snape, I can’t work properly while you’re doing that…” Harry could practically hear the grin on his professor’s face as he said,

“Call me Severus, Harry.” then he pressed his own erection into the crack of Harry’s arse through their clothing.

“S-Severus–” Harry had meant to tell him to stop so he could work but then Sna– no, Severus, began to grind on Harry. He could then say nothing but moan as Sn-Severus then reached his hand inside his pants and grabbed his now fully erect cock and began to rub it.

“N-not here,” Harry finally managed to say through his moans. “Your Chambers. Bedroom. Now.” Severus smiled a wicked grin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I'd like to apologize for how horribly late this chapter is. It's not as late as the last one was of course, but I hadn't meant for another writer's block to happen. However, my friend who absolutely loves this story and often edits it, has been kicking my butt into gear to write it. I should start updating at my normal time again of once a week (at least I hope so), because of her. So I hope that you will appreciate her efforts of nagging me to write and sometimes even writing lines herself, only for me to read it and freak out a little inside because it's just not RIGHT, which would then prompt me to write the next paragraph or so. 
> 
> I really hope that you enjoyed this chapter :) I know that it's a bit of a tease, but think of it this way, something is finally happening!! And Ron just kinda, sorta asked Hermione out! So, if you liked this chapter or this story in general, then please leave a comment telling me so. And if you haven't already, then please hit that Kudos button. Again, I'm really, really sorry for how late this chapter is. But it's only because of people who like and comment on this story that I'm continuing and pushing past y writer's blocks. So thank you all SO MUCH!!!


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